So Wanted

A year ago I was celebrating Labor Day with my side of the family when my husband and I made an unexpected trip to Urgent Care.  I was 3 1/2 months pregnant.  After being seen, I was told that I may very well lose the baby that I was carrying.  I was given the signs to look for in case of a miscarriage, placed on immediate bed rest,  and told to call my OB in the morning.  I was terrified. So was my husband. As we waited to be seen I had texted my prayer warriors. I knew that these ladies would do nothing but pray, send loving thoughts, and check in on me. Exactly what I needed.  They sent back lots of loving words while we waited.

I remember coming home and talking with my husband about how I was praying for grace to give in to God's calling.  If I was meant to have this baby, He would make it happen. If not, I prayed for the grace to let this baby go.  It was a difficult choice. I had wanted this baby so much before conception.  Having Bug made me realize that I could handle more children and I desperately wanted another one to round out our lives.

So as each day passed in my pregnancy, my husband and I rejoiced in another day closer to full-term.  It came to be that we were blessed with Mr. Bananas. I was also blessed with the love and support of family and friends who stuck by me 100% of the way. A year after I thought I was going to lose my precious baby I was taking him with me to celebrate the birthdays of our beloved extended family.  Praise God!

James 1:17

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above...

Identity

Yesterday, I officially resigned from teaching in my local school system.  It was something that's been a long time coming. I've been on childcare leave for the last 3 years. This is the last year that I could take off before making my final decision to either go back to work or resign.  When I received my final paperwork, I knew that I would check off the box that gave my resignation. Even though I've been looking forward to this for quite some time, it was still scary to check off that box. It means that I am no longer employed and no longer tied to the school system. SCARY!

I received the paperwork just days after having Bam Bam. I feel like it's divine intervention. I do feel that it's God's way of saying that I can take this time to be a mommy and to say goodbye to my career for a while.  Not forever, but for a while.

For so long being a teacher was my identity. I knew who I was and I knew how to do my job.  Over the last 3 years I've been working on this new identity of being a stay-at-home mom.  It's a roller coaster ride. It's unpredictable, scary, fun, intimidating, exhilarating, exhausting, and the best job I have ever had.  Some days I don't think I'm very good at it, and other days I feel like I've completely hit it out of the park.  There's no other place I'd rather be right now.

I feel like I missed so much the first 2 years of Boogie's life while I worked. I'm happy that I took some time off to spend time with him that last 3 years and then to be around for Buggy and for Bam-Bam.  As a friend pointed, it's not forever. I could always go back if I wanted. But right now I have the opportunity to be totally selfish of my time and to do what I want. So I choose to stay home with the kids.  But I also realize that it's no longer my time and I don't get to do whatever I want. It's my kids' time and what I want to do is to serve them in this time.  So rewarding!  If I can raise them to be empathetic, helpful, loving, and kind people, then I've done a good job.

In the meantime I've decided to seriously focus on writing. I've received a lot of positive feedback from some of my posts.  I'm still in a "new" Mommy stupor and pretty exhausted, but as I continue to heal and get back into the swing of things, I'm going to start submitting some of my writing. Wish me luck!

Now when people ask what I do, instead of saying "I'm a teacher" I say, "I'm a Stay-at-home Mom."  It has a nice ring to it.

Heart Prints

My friend J. teaches Mommy and Me yoga classes for preschool kids and younger. At the end of each class, she gives the mamas time to relax while she reads a story or does a short activity with the kids. One of the things she shared was a book about how kids can share their love with others through "heart prints." This concept has taken root in my house and Boogie loves when I tell him that something he has done has left a heart print.

Being that we just celebrated Valentine's Day this week, it seems only appropriate to share the heart prints that surrounded our new son's birth.

Yes, our son finally arrived! My water broke at 9:35pm on Saturday night (February 12th).  I had spent the morning with Bug helping to clean our church. At one point I was straightening the hymnals in the pews when Bug leaned into my belly and said, "Baby J. Come out. I want to meet you."  I was feeling the same way. I took it easy the rest of the day. That night I finally resigned myself that I would probably have to be induced on Wednesday. I was not looking forward to going to church the next day and see the shaking heads as I waddled into Mass.  Nonetheless I was resigned that's what would happen.  Around 9:30 pm Hubby and I settled into what had become our evening routine of watching an episode of The Wire on Netflix. Not even 10 minutes into the episode did I sit up suddenly and say, "Oh!" I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Fortunately I made it in time and realized that my water had broken. I had been having contractions an hour before, but nothing consistent. The time ranged from 2 minutes to 17 minutes between contractions. We had been timing contractions for at least a week, so after an hour of sporadic contractions I had counted it as a "whatever." At the time my water broke, I wasn't having any contractions.  I had Hubby call the advice nurse while I took a shower. I also called my mom to have her come over to stay with the kids.  Fortunately, it was not too late to call my friend A. and ask her to come over to spend the night so that my mom could go with us to the hospital to see the birth of her 3rd grandchild.

Here are the Heart prints that surrounded the time of baby #3's birth.

• My BFF A. called earlier in the evening to check on me. During this time I asked if she was willing to watch my two older kids so that my mom could join us at the hospital to watch the birth. She agreed. I just didn't think I would be calling her back 3 hours later to come over.  So A. came over and stayed the night with the kids
• My SIL L. came to join me in labor and delivery. She has been to at least one birth for every sister/sister-in-law except for mine. I knew that I would want here there because of her calming presence.  We called her and she came over to join us. She didn't get much more than an hour catnap during my labor, but she was incredible the whole time.  I'm pretty sure I bruised her hand when I squeezed it during labor. She never complained and walked me through everything.
• My husband was incredible through the whole thing. Even though I had everything my bag packed and the kids' bag packed in case they went to someone else's house, he made sure everything was in order. Throughout the labor he was there 110%. It got to the point where I didn't have to say anything and he was by my side to help me breathe through my contractions.
• My friend K. had been calling and checking in on me throughout the week. She was the one who was going to take me to the hospital if my water broke during the day and Hubby was still at work.
• My parents came to watch the birth of their 3rd grandchild.
• While A. spent Sunday morning with the kids she wrote and illustrated books with them so that they could share it with their new brother when they came to the hospital.  She also called my parents to tell them to rest and not to rush to pick up the kids after they came home from the hospital. Not only that, when Hubby came home to relieve her after the birth, she told him to go upstairs to get a nap and shower and that she was fine watching the kids for longer.
• My in-laws came to visit and kept me company while Hubby was home getting the kids settled at my parents house.
• My BIL and my SIL came to visit the next day to meet their newest nephew.
• Lots of love and encouragement via Facebook after I announced J.'s birth.
• My kids lovin' on their baby brother when they came to visit him.
• When I came home I found that Hubby had vacuumed and dusted our bedroom. Everything was put away. He changed the sheets and put together the cosleeper. Our room looked phenomenal and ready for our newest arrival.  

There is so much more, but this is the start. I feel so blessed by the love that surrounded this birth.  I was so antsy by the end and couldn't wait to give birth. I received a lot of encouragement prior to my labor, during my labor, and warm wishes when #3 made his arrival.

Baby #3 came in at a whopping 9lbs. 1oz. I was not prepared for this size. When the OB came to check me the first time during my labor she did warn me that he would be bigger than my other two who were 7 lbs. 5 oz and 7 lbs. 7 oz. I was thinking somewhere in the high 7s up to mid-8s, definitely not 9lbs!  We affectionately call him Bam Bam or the mini-freezer.  He is well loved by his siblings.  I am happy to be home with my family and to settle into being a family of five.

Headed to the hospital. No contractions yet!

Proud parents with our BIG Boy!

Feeling sweet relief that our son finally arrived. So happy!

Baby Update

I have been on restricted activity for over two months, now. My diagnosis was that I had a low-lying placenta and it was causing my spotting.  The contractions I have been having are due to dehydration.  I have been trying to stay off my feet more and trying to take it slow, which is not easy for a go-go-go person like me who likes to tackle 20 different projects at one time.

Yesterday, I went to my routine OB appointment. I have to be honest and tell you that I was nervous and anxious, and resigned myself to not get my hopes up. I have asked for and have received prayers from friends and family, along with well-wishes, words of encouragement, support, and love.

The good news is the placenta has moved up on its own and I am no longer in need of a c-section for Baby #3!  I am off restricted activity and can resume light exercise. The baby still has a due date of February 7th and it looks like he will stay put until then! Praise the Lord!

The best part of hearing this news was sharing it with my son. When I came home from my appointment yesterday the babysitter asked how it went and with a big smile I told her it went well.

Boogie perked up, looked up at me and said, "What does that mean, Mommy?"
M: It means Mommy is okay and the baby is okay.
B: Does this mean you can pick me up now?
M: Yes, it means I can pick you up now (not really true, just like any other pregnant woman I'm not allowed to lift more than 15 pounds, but still....)
B: Really? (He ran to me and asked me to pick him up (all 35 pounds of him)
B: (looking at the babysitter) My Mommy can pick me up now!
and I got the biggest longest hug. Oh, how I love my Boogie Man!

That was the best!  I won't go overboard and pick him all the time. Heck, he doesn't want to be picked up all the time, he just wants to know that I can.

While I promise not to go overboard, just knowing that I can do a little more will help with my mental and emotional well-being.  My husband is nervous that I'll try to pick up my previous gym activities, but I've decided to not go to the gym until after the baby is born. In the meantime, I'll try some swimming and light walks around the neighborhood.

Praise the Lord for He is Good!

Baby Names

You would think that after having one son, that Hubby and I would have a list of names we didn't use, but we don't. It was really hard to come up with a name that we both liked. For Baby #1 Hubby kept campaigning for Atticus after a character in his favorite book, To Kill a Mockingbird.  I vetoed.  Our son is named after both grandfathers. And he likes to use his full name, no nicknames please.

For our daughter I had a name in mind and stuck with it. She is named after my grandmother and Hubby's great aunt. I love her name as well. We use a shortened version of her name, but recently she has told me that her name is her full name. Again, no nicknames please. I don't think it's going to stick. For two years we have called her by both and her extended family usually uses the shortened version.

Now we are on to Baby #3 and he is a boy. We're stuck again. We actually had a girl name picked out and we were both pretty happy with it.  But nada on the boy names. Even the ones we sort of liked before aren't necessarily in the running.  We honestly don't have a name for this little guy.

Boogie, however, has already named him. Some background:  before Buggy was even a glimmer in our eye my son told me that he wanted a sister and that the next baby would be a girl. He was right.  When thinking about this current baby, Boogie told us he was done with sisters and that he was going to have a brother. He was right.  The funny thing is that well over a year ago, before this baby was even in our thoughts Boogie came up to me one night, told me that I was having a boy and that his name would be Isaac.  He has stuck by that name.  However, it was never a name that Hubby and I have discussed or even considered.  But who am I tell a young man who seems to have the inside scoop with the Big Man Upstairs that it's not in the running? So now it's a consideration.

I have a name that I've been playing with, but here's the deal. Hubby has a cousin that lives in another state. We're friendly, we saw him and his family last Summer when we were up his way on a business trip.  I think Hubby is LinkedIn with him and possibly Facebook friends, but other than that, not too much contact.  They had a daughter about a year before we did and gave her the name that I wanted to give our daughter. I was shocked because it's not a common name. But Hubby's cousin's wife had given her favorite baby doll that name when she was a kid and loved it so much she gave the name to her daughter.  Again, I gave the same name to my daughter because it was my grandmother's name.  Hubby's cousin just had a son, and yep...they gave him the name that was on my top 3 list. So what to do? Do I go forward with the name or do I say forget it, because now it's just weird and I look like I'm copying? I haven't decided yet.

But I better decide soon. Boogie has been praying for baby Isaac this past week and if I don't come up with another name, the baby will be Isaac or Lucifer. Because, yeah, he suggested Lucifer last night. Um, no. Lucifer is not in the running. Thankyouverymuch!

So...When are You Due?

So I must have popped over the weekend, because 7 new people mentioned my pregnancy over the last 2 days. I am currently 25 weeks along.  I feel like I have a long way to go, while at the same time feeling like time is flying by way too fast because before I know it, February will be here!

Before this pregnancy I had planned to continue going to the gym and staying fit with walking and some cycling. But this baby had other plans and prefers for me to sit with my feet up. While I definitely eat better than I did with my first and second pregnancies, I started to put on weight pretty quickly this past month. Easy to do when you're not allowed to even walk around the block with the kids and Hubby makes really, really, really good banana chocolate chip walnut bread for breakfast.

So, I'm really self-conscious about my weight right now and the fact that I feel like a ginormous beach ball rolling everywhere. Or maybe more like Violet Beauregarde when she turns into a blueberry after trying out Willy Wonka's infamous gum. Anyway I feel HUGE.

So on Sunday two different people at Church asked when I was due and if it's a boy or girl. Normal non-judgemental questions.  Then yesterday...

I just dropped off my son at his classroom and was walking out and happened to walk alongside another parent from the same class.

Preschool Mommy #1:  When are you due?
Me: February
PM#1: Big (with eyebrows lifted)
Me: Um, yeah.
PM#1: Just one?
Me: Um, yeah (and started using my daughter as a distraction to get us to hurry through the parking lot).

We part ways and I see a mommy friend (Preschooler Mommy #2) parked next to my car. She's trying to get her daughter buckled in.

PM#2: So when are you due? January or December?
Me: February.
Uncomfortable silence ensues as we finishing buckling our daughters into their carseats.

This is making me think that I must have really packed on the weight  in the last week.  If only these women knew #1 that I'm smaller than I was for the first two pregnancies, and #2, I'm not allowed to do much because of spotting and contractions!!!!!  If only they knew. Argh!

By the way, I am by no means a small woman, and I own that.  However, I did lose 25 pounds before conceiving Baby #3 and was getting thinner by the week. I was at my healthiest this past Spring running on a regular basis and starting spin classes.  Knowing that I was able to lose weight on my own without resorting to Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach, Diet, or Nutrisystem was awesome. I had tried a few of those systems in the past and never lost a lot of weight and/or kept it off. By exercising and watching what I ate I finally lost the dreaded baby weight from my first born and kept it off!

However the day was redeemed in several ways:

Picking up Boogie from school:
PM#3: You're expecting. When are you due?
Me: February. I know it's a long way off...
PM#4: No, it's not, it's just around the corner. You look like your carrying it well. You look good.
Me: Thank you!
PM#5 (and one who currently has an infant): Yeah, you look good. You're carrying it well.

Whether or not it's true, it totally made up for the morning. However, the best part of my entire day was walking into Buggy's bedroom while Hubby was saying bedtime prayers with the kids. I happened to hear them praying for Mommy and the Baby.  When I walked in, the kids each said, "God Bless, Baby" and kissed my belly.  Okay, yeah. That was totally the best part of my day. I love my family!

It's A...

BOY!!!! Baby #3 is definitely a boy. Apparently he doesn't mind taking a picture of his "business" like Brett Favre allegedly does.  The technician was able to tell me pretty quickly that we are having a boy. I'm still in awe. All of my earlier cravings and aversions to food had me convinced that we were having a girl. As of now I am 1 for 3 in my predictions.  Boogie Man is 2 for 2. I think I'll start listening to my son from now on.

Boogie is excited. He is tired of having a sister an is looking forward to having a brother. He also asked if he could get one that was already walking and can play "wuff" with him.  He's not so sure about having a baby as a brother, but I think he'll be fine.  He's been a huge help this pregnancy.  He does so many more things on his own and is willing to help me out more often. I am so grateful to my little man.  It is a little unnerving to hear him say, "Bad Mommy, put her down. Bad Mommy!" when I go to pick up Bug. But he's right and I'm not allowed to pick her up.  So as a result I have been following doctor's more often: First because Boogie has been helping me around the house, helping his sister, and being more independently, and second, because he constantly tells me not to pick something up.  His daddy is so proud!

Buggy is excited to be a big sister and she kisses my belly and hugs it all the time.  But at the same time as my belly grows larger, she becomes more attached. She just knows that her time as the youngest is slowly coming to a close.  I think being the girl in the middle of two brothers will good for her. I think she may have been too competitive if she had a younger sister. Now with a brother she can be Mama's little helper and play little mama to her baby brother....or maybe that's wishful thinking!

My Boogie man is go-go gadget machine and I have a hard time keeping up. It makes me nervous about having another active boy in the house. But I think we'll deal.  I'm also out of ideas for boy names. We haven't settled on anything. We had a hard time when we chose a name for our son the first time around. I have a ton of girl names, but boy names elude me.  So it might be last minute like Boogie was. I was pushing him out when my husband finally decided on a name for him. Yes, I left it up to my husband, and yes, I'm pretty happy with the result. We have just over three months to decide...

All is well and I'm grateful for a low-key weekend. We had plans to visit a petting farm with the kids and my husband's cousin and her family.  She suggested I take it easy and we canceled our outing.  I was really disappointed, but knew she was right. As a result I was able to take a nap, finish reading a book, and finish crocheting Buggy's birthday blanket. It was marvelous and all done in a reclining position with my feet up. Thanks, K. for giving me a day back to relax!  I got up every now and then to straighten the house before Sunday's Bible study, but whenever I got tired or thought it was too much I stopped. As a result I got more done, wasn't stressed out over the house, and of course got to do all the relaxing things that I rarely give myself permission to do.  It helped that Hubby did a bunch, also.  He prepared the food for the next day and was happy to see me asleep, reading, or crocheting. It saved him from telling me to sit.

I hope to hear the results of the sonogram this week. I hope to hear that the placenta has moved up and that I'm off restricted activities.  I'll keep ya posted. By the way...I'm 23 weeks and counting!

Stuck in the Middle...

I am the oldest of 2 children and my husband is the youngest of five. We compliment each other with our personalities. I tend to be "Type-A" and (somewhat) organized. I have a plan and a list and I always know what's going on in our household.  My husband is more relaxed, less frenzied, though his siblings would say he's intense. (One of BILs laughed when I said my husband was laid back).  Our personalities work together and we tend to balance each other out.  

As we contemplate Baby #3, I have been thinking more and more about the "middle child syndrome" or is it a syndrome that I'm making up? Is there any truth to birth order theories?  I've heard from friends who are middle children or have middle children in their family and there seems to be a concern for middle children. Do they fit anywhere? They aren't the oldest so they don't get to be the "first" and they aren't the youngest, so they aren't babied and when they were babied, they don't have any recollection.  They want to be noticed for who they are and not compared to their siblings.  Yet, it seems they get lost...well, in the middle.

I worry about this because we will be possibly making Baby #2, my beautiful daughter, the middle kid.  I love Buggy's personality! She's fun, feisty, sweet, mischievous, and perfect just the way she is. I don't want to give her a complex because she's become the middle child.

Now of course I'm speaking to this with absolutely no personal point of reference. Like I said, I'm the oldest of two. My husband says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. But somebody out there does!  I told Hubby that if we try for Baby #3, then we absolutely have to try for Baby #4 so there are no middle children...I'm even willing to try for #5 because I feel that even if there is a middle with 5, there would be enough kids to balance it out.

So what do you think? Am I making this up? What is your experience with middle children? Any ideas on how to make the transition smooth for my little girl when the time comes?  I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, whether you are a middle child, have a sibling that's a middle child, or have middle children. What are you experiences and thoughts?

Wha? Did you say size 8?

I've been on this weight loss journey FOREVER!  However, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't shake off the baby weight from my first baby who is now four.  I would work out hard and not see any difference and become very frustrated.  I also love reading Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. She has one character, Lulu who cracks me up. She's always described as a larger than life woman.  I always laughed when I read about how she squeezes her large body in her spandex outfits...until one day the author listed the character's size/weight and I realized that was me! Not the squeezing into spandex part, but the large part. OMG I was Lulu!  I realized right then and there that I had to do something about my weight.

Before I became pregnant with Buggy I convinced my husband to let me spend the extra money and try Nutrisystem. Working full-time I wasn't able to make it to the gym very much but I was able to use the Nutrisystem meal plan. I lost 2-3 pant sizes and was within 10 pounds of making it to my pre-baby weight. However, it still meant that I was a big girl. Just slightly less big.  It also meant that I was tied to the NS meals and didn't know if I could lose the weight if I went off the program.

When I became pregnant with baby #2, gained 45 pounds during my pregnancy and had to start all over again. However, I walked everyday the last 3 months of my pregnancy and I think that is why I lost more weight initially than I had when I had my son.  I still had 15 lbs. to go before I hit my pre-pregnancy weight with Baby #2. But I hit the "wall" and couldn't do it. I was at the gym everyday. I was taking classes. I was doing everything right or so I thought. In chatting with one of the trainers, she told me that she noticed I was having trouble and lectured me about my eating habits. She was absolutely right and I had to hear it. She recommended that I go to a site that helped me to count my calories and determine what I was eating. It was basically an on-line calorie counter. I did and I have since lost 22 pounds and 3 pant sizes since November.

I've stalled a couple of times, got back to it and have started losing again. My goal is to be at least 1 lb. below my pre-pregnancy weight with baby #1 before trying for baby #3, be healthier, NOT to be diagnosed with diabetes, to be able to keep up with my kids, and run races.   Being a SAHM I just can't afford the pricey programs. Using The Daily Plate I've been able to watch my calories, type in gym routines and see how many calories I've burned, and keep on track with my weight loss. So far so good! I'm not quite where I want to be. According to the BMI I need to lose another 17-20 pounds to be at a healthy weight.  Which I will do eventually.  But at least I know that I can do it!

Last week I ran 5-miles outside for a practice run for this week's race. It's amazing what good shoes, an asthma inhaler, and losing 20+ pounds will do for your run. In practice I've already shaved about 8 minutes from last year's race time. I hope I can do it on Saturday :)  Wish me luck!

Game On, wait Game Off, No, Game On!

Thanks for the blog title, Jessica.  So in thinking about having baby #3, it's been on my mind a lot.  Especially now that I have lost all of the baby weight from both kids, I feel like it's time to start trying if I'm going to try. No sense in waiting for the the littlest one to be out of diapers for a while to try this thing again. At least I'll still be in the habit of changing diapers.

Sitting in Church yesterday I watched my son go in to give his sister a little hug and a tiny push, enough to send her off the pew and onto her back on the hard cement floor. Doh! He was on his stomach on the pew behind me and the hubby. I said, "Jeez!" grabbed his legs and slid him to me. My daughter is crying and Hubby is trying to console her. Boogie is seeing this and saying, "I want Daddy to hold me." Um, not a chance Buddy, you just knocked your sister off the pew and she's crying. He ended up being held by me for the next ten minutes. I could tell he felt bad. As I'm holding him, and listening to her cry, I'm thinking, this is exactly why I'm not ready for a third. Game off!

Buggy stops crying but now has a lovely red line from her bottom lip to the end of her chin. We don't know how she got it, but she got in in the process of falling off the pew.  I'm thinking, how in the world can I do this? There is no way we can handle a third. Right now it's man to man. I got one, you've got one. If we have a third it's all about zone, baby.  Someone is always going to be outnumbered and I have a feeling it's going to be me.

As the sermon continues and Buggy is sitting peacefully in her father's arms, my son gets off my lap, walks over to her, and then gives her several kisses on the face. Light, sweet kisses.  Guess what? Game on!

I'd Like Another, But....

My husband and I are talking about trying for kid number three.  This isn't new news since before we were married my husband said he wanted enough for a football team. Since then, he's fortunately brought down his expectations to a reasonable number...at least two, with always the possibility of growing our family.

Here's the thing. I love my life. My two kids are the greatest. They are fun and loving. They make me laugh and remind me on a daily basis that choosing to be home with them is and will always have been the right choice for us in this time of our lives.

Boogie is 99% potty trained. We're still working on night-time dryness, but overall he's potty-trained. He will also be in preschool 4 half days a week next school year. Sweet. I can enjoy my mornings with him and get things done in the afternoons. Buggy is growing so fast and is my little helper.  She's learning new words by the day and forming more sentences by the minute.  She is already attempting potty training. Nothing yet, but at least interested. Not bad, considering she's 17 1/2 months old.  However we will have to teach her to sit down for going potty. She's watched her brother one too many times and when she tries to go, she stands at the toilet and thrusts her little pelvis towards the bowl. Too funny. But I digress....

We are in a really, really good place right now.  I feel like I'm finally got this two-kid thing down. We've had more good days versus challenging days. Boogie is being more helpful and I think we are finally sliding out of the trying 3's.  Buggy is fun and we're finally able to find time to do things just the two of us...hence enrolling her in parent-assisted soccer classes while her brother is in school and parent-assisted swim classes on Saturdays while Daddy and Boogie hang out together. Having two kids is great. I got this!

However, there are days when I am ready to pull out my hair. When all I want to do is barricade us in the house and watch hours and hours of PBS while we all snuggle together on the couch. There are days when I just can't take the fussing and the whining or having just one more thing to do, no matter how self-imposed I made it (like the soccer, the t-ball, the swimming...).  So the thought of adding one more to the mix is very daunting.

But, I don't think I'm done. I feel like our family is missing at least one more family member. Our family is complete in the sense that it's complete for right now, but there's definite room for growth.  I can already imagine our family expanding and can't imagine it without a 3rd little one to compliment it.  (I'm willing to have at least five, but I don't know if my sanity can take it. Being so type A, chaos overwhelms me. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.)  So I guess we've made our decision. We're ready for another. But I won't be disappointed if we don't get pregnant right away. We'll just have fun trying :)