Bonking at the Half Marathon

Dad and I before the race

Last Sunday I ran in a half marathon with my dad. His first, my second.  I have been too frustrated and embarrassed by my performance I haven't written about it.  But of course I have to write. It's the only way I can let go of the frustration.

I will admit that it wasn't until the last month or so was I feeling it on my training runs. The first four weeks I think I was tired and I realize I hate running in hot and humid weather.  I was debating on whether or not to run the Parks Half Marathon. I was going to use it as a training run for another half in October. But when no one else was interested I decided to bag it until my dad showed interest. We decided to run it together and I put it back on my racing schedule. I was very excited to run with my dad.  I have always (and still do) looked for affirmation and approval from my parents. I was excited to be doing something that my dad enjoys doing. My dad enjoys running. Over the last 9 years I have asked him to run a race or two with me, 5Ks or 5 milers, and he kept saying how his knees hurt and wasn't up for it.  I kept running and I kept racing.  He ran with the wounded warriors at work and paced them through some 10 milers.  My dad is a life long runner and has never run in a half marathon. It's kind of crazy that I ran one before he did, but he was never interested until now.

My friend ran her first half and totally kicked my butt coming in 24 minutes ahead of me.
It's cool, I'll catch her next time ;)

I struggled through a lot of my training runs and was finally refitted with a new pair of shoes. The new shoes were amazing and I was able to run without knee, hip, and ankle pain.  As the date loomed closer the more excited I became. For the first time ever I ran 13 miles and then a week later 14.51 miles for training runs. They were slower than race pace, but everything I read said that was to be expected. I was just working on endurance.

Just happy to be coming in under my own volition

For this half marathon I added hill training and interval training. I participated in a run clinic to work on my form and I ran more than I ever have in my life.

The day of the race I was excited and nervous. I made sure I had everything ready. In trying to prepare for getting out of the house I realized I didn't have time to make my usual running breakfast of rice and beans in a tortilla and went with almonds and a bagel. I've eaten that before and thought it would sustain me. I also drank a small bottle of water and I was ready to go.

My dad, friend, and I made it to the race start. It was in the low 60s and cloudy when we started. It even started to drizzle just a tiny little bit just as we passed the race clock at the start of the race. It was still a little too warm for me, but manageable. I've been in races where it was 80 degrees and sunny at the start.

My dad could easily have come in an hour before we did.
He looked great the whole time.

Dad and I decided to start with the 2:40 pace group so that we would start slower in the beginning and go for a negative split.  We planned to pick up the pace around the halfway point.  I had the beginnings of plantar fasciitis and foolishly (?) took an Aleve before we left the house.  I usually stay away from aspirin and whatnot for long runs, but I knew that I would be running faster and I wanted to stave off any unwanted pain.  I spoke to the 2:40 pacer and she said she would keep a 12:12 mile. I thought that was more than doable and followed her when it was our turn to start. It was crowded at the start and it took some time to move beyond the crowd of people. When my Garmin went off at mile 1 I realized we were starting way too fast for what I thought would be a comfortable pace.  We hit the first mile in the low elevens and the next three miles we were in the high tens and low elevens. Now my dad naturally runs about 3 minutes faster per mile than I do.  He was more than comfortable with this pace. I was concerned that it was too fast. I even stopped to walk to fix my gait a few times. My gait was off because of the plantar fasciitis.  At mile 4 I decided to walk up the hill known as The Silencer. I was warned about it and decided with my nagging pain to take it at a fast walk versus a run. It was a good decision. We were up and over in no time. However, between mile 4 and 5 I looked up into the sky because I thought it was raining and when I rubbed my hand over my face I realized that I had small salt balls coming off my face. That's not a good sign.  I was a little concerned but we kept running. After an hour of running I refueled with sport beans and got a little pick up at mile 6 and I was feeling better. Dad estimated that we would finish well within our goal of 2:30 and 2:40. The pacer was still quite a ways ahead of us, but we were fine.  We saw my mom, my husband, and my kids around mile 8 and it was so nice to see them. Hubby even had some fresh orange slices ready to give to me. I thought it would help pick me up. But it didn't. It began to unravel for me at mile 8 when I felt the need to pee and couldn't when I got into the port-a-potty.  I tried again at mile 10 and was becoming really concerned that I couldn't go.  I had been drinking water at every station which were stationed just about 2 miles apart. I should have taken in some Gatorade, but it makes my stomach hurt so I just kept to drinking water and pouring it down my back.  My dad didn't seemed concerned about my inability to urinate so we kept running.  By this time the 2:45 pacer had passed us and I couldn't keep up. I kept falling further and further behind.  I just couldn't do it. We saw Mom, Hubby, and the kids just before mile 12 and that was nice. They cheered and gave us fist bumps and I loved them for that. They are the best!

At the mile 12 aid station the medic saw me as I passed her and said, "Get water NOW!" I must have looked terrible. I didn't tell her my concerns because I only had a mile to go. It was the worst mile of my life. I kept thinking I run a mile at least once a day. I just have to keep going. But I couldn't. I was doing a lot more walking than running. I kept telling Dad to go on ahead because he was feeling fantastic and I just wanted to suffer alone. I remember looking at the path at mile 12.3 thinking I could just lie down right now and not get up. I could curl up and be content to not finish this race. Running sucks.  And then I remembered my friend m00se saying, just enjoy the run. I tried. I really, really tried. I had not only hit the wall, I had slammed into it and it knocked me on my butt. I had bonked.  I saw the minutes on my watch tick by and knew then I had blown my goal and I was not even going to come close to my first half marathon time.  I was beside myself. I knew my dad was frustrated. I was very frustrated and all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep. I had never felt that way before.

In retrospect I had bonked. I looked it up later and all of the signs of wanting to just curl up and lie down and of not being able to move clearly indicated I had bonked. I spoke to my spin instructor who is also a distance runner. I told her what happened and she told me I had bonked. She said that salt balls coming off my face and my inability to use the bathroom showed that I was dehydrated. She also thinks that my kidneys were starting to shut down and that I should have gotten IV fluids after the race. My neighbor, a nurse, did not think it had gone that far, but that I was definitely dehydrated.  Come to find out, I was not only dehydrated I was also way under fueled. I found my mostly uneaten bagel in the car when we returned from the race. I had forgotten to eat. I guess I got caught up in the excitement of running with my dad and the thought of getting a PR, I had forgotten to finish my breakfast. I was running on a handful of almonds and a few bites of a bagel. I am the first to tell people to fuel up before a run and what to eat. I have run so often I know exactly what will carry me through each distance. And for this crucial race I did not follow my own advice and simply did not remember to eat. Ridiculous! Frustrating! Irritating! I could have done so much better.

Completing our first half together

I did finish the race by sheer determination. It took every ounce of strength and energy I had to cross that finish line running. My dad and I crossed at 2:51:47. It was not my best time and it was by far the worst running experience I have ever had. It took most of the day to recover. I cried when I got home. I cried for a few days after.  The worst part of the race was disappointing my dad. And I know I did. I could see it on his face and I could hear it in his voice. And it was pretty much confirmed when we had talked about doing another one in the future and after the race he's not really sure he wants to do another one. He was feeling good and looking forward to this race. And now, he doesn't really want to do another one.  It's a bummer. It should have been a good experience for him and it wasn't.

Dad and I post race

As I was finishing up that mile I kept thinking there is no way I can ever do another half marathon, much less a marathon. This run is killing me. But I have run 13+ miles before and never felt that way. But now I know what I did wrong. And now that I have come to my senses, of course I'll run another half marathon. I actually have my eye on another one next month and another one scheduled in April.  If the plantar fasciitis in my left foot can heal in the next few weeks I'll sign up for the one in October. If not, well, this certainly won't be my last half marathon.  I'll just keep running, because that's what I do. I just keep running.

I wish I had the following verse with me on the last five miles of the race:

Our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! (2 Corinthians 4:17)

My First Half Marathon

Packing for the race

I am two days away from running my second half marathon and for some reason I have avoided writing about my first half marathon. There is no reason for it. I finished faster than I had hoped, it was a great run, my kids and husband were there to cheer me on, my friend A. ran the 5K portion of the race, and my friend S. ran the half-marathon and cheered me on to the finish. It was an awesome day and an awesome race for a first time half marathon.  It was also a women's only half marathon and for my first, I liked that idea. I had read on various blogs and reviews that a women's only race is different from the co-ed races. The women tended to be more encouraging while running.

I was really lucky that my first half marathon was just a few miles away from my best friend's house.  My family and I attended Saturday evening mass at a church that was at the halfway point between our house and her house. We met her after for dinner for some yummy mexican food and then I loaded my stuff into her car, said my goodbyes to my kids and husband, and spent the night at my friend's house.  I was nervous and fidgety.  The night before the race I prepared everything I thought I would need for the race.  I had a horrible time trying to fall asleep because of nerves. Hubby texted me around 10pm and told me to get some sleep. I finally fell asleep and slept well and then woke up trying to figure out where I was.

Buggy getting a high five from a runner with Mr. Bananas watching from the side.

A. and I gathered our stuff, ate our breakfast and made our way to the race. The weather was so, so cold. It was in the 50s. I didn't want to wear too many clothes and be too hot, so I did my best to keep moving. Since A's race didn't start until after mine she graciously took my stuff when I went to the corral to get ready. I was so nervous and thought I would puke before I even started.  I ran into another woman while waiting in line for the bathroom. She looked equally nervous and asked me if this was my first half marathon. I could tell by her nervous demeanor, the fact that she wore her race shirt, and the new hydration belt we got in our goody bag that she might be a new runner. As a note, most veteran runners won't wear anything new on race day.  They like to run with what they already know...running outfit, hydration system, etc.  No one likes surprise chafe on a long race.  We chatted with each other and wished each other luck.

A., me, and S. after the race.

When I got to the corral I decided to follow one of the pace groups. After one last trip out to the port-a-potty and the national anthem we were off. And then I moved to the side and out of the way and stopped. My running app on my phone was not starting and I really, really wanted to keep track of my time since I don't wear a Garmin. I wanted to analyze my running splits after the race.  After about a quarter mile or so I finally got it to work.  And I was off, but much further behind the pace group than I would have liked.  The weather was perfect and I ran. After the first 3 miles I told myself that the next 10 were nothing but a training run and I could do that.  My brother-in-law later pointed out that my "training run" was after I had run 3 miles.  Yeah, yeah.  By mile three I could feel a large blister forming on the bottom of my foot and all I could think was I can't stop, I have 10 more miles to run. I powered through and tried to ignore the incessant rubbing on my foot.

The kiddos at the race and my cheering section.

The course was hilly with lots of ups and downs. I don't think I did enough hill training to prepare for them.  I remember powering up a hill fist pumping as I listened to P!nk raise her glass. One of the older ladies warned me to slow it down, but I was fired up and feeling good.  We ran through several neighborhoods.  After the motivating crowds and spectators at a recent running festival, the lack of spectators was kind of disappointing.  Thank goodness for good music.  I did manage to find my pace group and kept up with them for a while and then I passed them.

I knew my family would be at mile 6 and I kept running. I wanted to see them. When I did, I sprinted towards them.  My husband waited until the elite runners had gone by before allowing the kids to stand and put their hands out for high fives from the runners.  My kids loved it!  They loved the attention and later throughout the race several women told me they loved seeing my kids at the half way point.  It was there that I decided to make my first pit stop and that was a mistake. The good part was that I got to talk to my family for 15-20 minutes while I waited in line for the lone port-a-potty and mile 6. The bad news was that I had to wait 15-20 minutes to use a port-a-potty and it slowed down my pace by a lot. I saw my pace group run by and I never caught up with them again.  I could have kicked myself later. Not half a mile down the road was a set of 3 port-a-potties without a line. I had scoured the website to find info on the facilities. I remember reading it on one email and never found it again.  So I didn't know that  I could have run a few more minutes and then been on my way. Oh, well. It was a learning experience.

After mile 6 I tackled the steepest hill I had ever run.  I knew it was coming and gritted my teeth for it.  On the hill there were some spectators and there was a sign that said, "Make this hill your b*tch." And I did. I ran it and I conquered it only to be faced with a longer, not as steep hill right after.  The cop helping out at the top of the first hill was really encouraging as we all faced that monster.  But I have to admit, by mile 10, I think I was done.  I kept running, walking some, running some more.  At one point, a woman wearing her Boston 2013 jacket called me by name and shouted out encouragement (our names were printed on our bibs). This was just a few weeks after the Boston bombing and I teared up thinking, wow, she just ran Boston and she's cheering me on? Inspirational!  She cheered for each of us as we ran by her.

After mile 10, I ran next to a woman and played cat and mouse for a while. I'd catch up to her when she started walking and tell her to keep going and that she was doing great. I'd pass her, run for a while, lose steam, and start to walk. She would run up to me and give me some encouragement to run again. We did this until I lost her around mile 11 or 12.  There was another woman I used as my pacer and tried to catch up with her. We ended up running the last 2 miles together. We hit another hill at mile 12 and decided to walk up it. We were spent.  At the top of the hill we started running together and talked and encouraged each other as we ran.  We talked about how we started to hate those that shouted that we were close to the finish line, knowing darn well we were still more than a mile way from our destination. It was the longest mile I ever ran.

As we entered the chute to finish the race Hubby and the kids were at the beginning. Buggy and Boogie jumped in to run to the finish with me. Unfortunately, Buggy bit it after a few strides in and everyone told Boogie to go back and help her. I waffled about running back to her or to keep going. Hubby told me to keep going and he would take care of it. Boogie was disappointed to be told to go back to his sister. I think that's my biggest regret in the race. I should have grabbed Buggy and carried her into the finish with me and I should have let Boogie finish the race with me.

We finished! Sporting our medals :)

My racing buddy and I sprinted to the finish and she beat me by several seconds. I heard my friend S. screaming from the sidelines and that gave me more motivation to keep going. I sprinted in and finished the race.  I was given my finisher's medal and someone walked me to the side and took off my racing chip for me. Thank goodness for that, I didn't have the energy to bend down and do it myself.  I met my family and my friends at the finish line, happy, proud, sore, and exhausted.  I finished 45 minutes faster than I dared hope. I finished in 2:44:20.  Not the best time, but I'm still proud, because I trained, I made it to the start line, and I finished.

I found the two women I had been running with for the last part of the race. I told Joy it was a joy to run with her and I thanked for pushing me the last two miles. The other woman Hadley told me that I pushed her to run faster and thanked me and I thanked her for her encouragement along the road. I never found the new runner Deborah whom I had met earlier in the morning. But I saw that she finished with the pace group with whom I couldn't keep up, darn single port-a-potty line. But awesome for her for keeping up!

As I begin to rest for my race on Sunday, I'm a little nervous. I feel the beginnings of plantar fasciitis in left heel.  I desperately want to go for a run kind of like a last minute cram session before a big final. But I've trained hard and I've trained moderately well. My training times haven't been great, but if I rest my foot for the next two days and give my tired legs a rest I should be fine. I'm also running with my dad and he is a great pacer. I look forward to running with him. We decided to run sans music and headphones. Just him and me and 2,000 other runners.  It should be a good race. I have to finish within 2:45 before they shut down the course. Even though my training times have been lousy, I have faith that I'll make it in at least 2:44:20.  Happy Running!

Long Training Runs

My dad and I at our first 10K together last April

I am training for my next half marathon.  This time I will run it with my dad and I am really, really looking forward to running this event with him. In April we ran a 10K together and it was a great experience. He is a really good pacer. He runs about 2-3 minutes per mile faster than I do, but he stuck with me during the 10K and as a result I was able to PR (Personal Record) on the race running my fastest ever pace per mile.

However, with the hotter weather, a change in my husband's work schedule, and having training runs that were a slower pace per mile, I was having difficulty with wrapping my head around the fact that I was training for another half. Especially a half with a time limit of finishing in 2:45.  I finished my first ever half at 2:44 and that was with 15 minutes waiting in a long line for a port-a-potty.   When I considered doing the half in September I thought I'd nail it and be in well underneath the time allotted. By right now I'm not feeling it.

For two weeks I struggled with getting in a 9 mile training run. I'd wimp out and not finish it citing one reason or another for myself.  Not getting up early enough, it's too hot, or I don't want to run 9 miles on a treadmill.  Finally last week while we were on my vacation my husband asked me what was going on and I told him I just didn't know and that 9 miles seemed awfully long. He looked at me incredulously and said, "Haven't you done that at least half a dozen times already?" In reality, no. I ran 9 miles 3 times my entire life:  in a 9 mile training run, in a 10 mile training run, and in my first half.  That's not very often.  He told me to suck it up and get it done and that he'd take the kids out while I was running. So a week ago I gritted my teeth and I laced up my running shoes and opted for a route that would take me 4 1/2 miles out so that I would be forced to run (run, walk, crawl, whimper) the 4 1/2 miles back. It was definitely the way to go. If I done the loop route 4 times I would have talked myself out of it by mile 6 and called it a day. By making it so that I didn't have that choice it ensured that I would get in my nine miles and I did.  And it was great feeling of accomplishment, but my knees were killing me by the end of the day. And I realized that I wasn't enjoying running and it was because my knees were hurting so badly by the end of my training runs that I did not want to go back and do it again.  The thing is my shoes were only 3 months old and had only 250 miles on them. They should last 300-500 miles on average. New running shoes every 3 months can get to be a very expensive habit!

I was so excited to put these on for my training run and they didn't disappoint!

After talking to Hubby we agreed that it was time for new shoes. I knew I would cry if I had to run 12 miles in the current shoes. A few days ago I went out and got a professional fitting once again. The last one was 3 years ago and I should have known then the shoes weren't right for me. I had huge blisters on my arches and I had to break in my shoes. Runner's note:  You should never have to break in running shoes.  You should be able to run in them right out of the box and not have any trouble.  Case in point, today I did a 13+ run in my new shoes the Mizuno Wave Rider 16s and besides my feet and calves being tired from the mileage I did not incur any blisters or other ailments on my run. Runner's delight!

This time my run was different. I prepped myself for completing my 12 mile training run. I self-talked for the last week (super geeky, but it worked) about finishing 12 miles, made sure my audio book was loaded on my phone, and bought a pair of shoes that were professionally fitted for me. It also helped that the weather was perfect for running.  The result was my own personal half-marathon training run. I went further than my 12 mile training run and ran 13.1 miles. And it was awesome! My knees don't hurt as much. There is still residual pain that I have had since my first half but it is definitely less in my new shoes.  After breaking in my orthotics the knee and hip pain should be completely alleviated by next week!  I more than accomplished my goal and I was able to push past my personal wall of negativity.

13.1 miles in the books!

Running was beginning to feel like a chore to me. Not only was it a chore, but it was physically painful and I dreaded putting on my shoes.  That is not how I want my training runs to be because that is awful.   Today I had a boost of confidence and new shoes always help in motivating me to get out the door and try them out. A 13 mile run might be a little much to try out new shoes but my Mizuno's held up to the test quite well.

Running is my solace. It is my "me" time. It is the time that I can step back from the trials and tribulations of the day or week and take a fresh perspective. It's a time where I can listen to a favorite book and enjoy it without feeling guilty. It is a time to set and meet goals and feel accomplishment.  It is my prayer time and my reflection time. It's my time with God. It is my time to go out and kick some butt and then come home filled with endorphins and be a better Mama.

Long training runs can give you that time to think, to analyze and to give you a fresh perspective on life.  And I've read that if you can't come up with a solution for a situation while you are out on a long run, then maybe the solution is that you accept the situation as it stands.  I ran for more than 3 hours today and if I couldn't come a good answer for whatever I am facing then maybe I have explored most if not all the options. Fortunately, today I didn't have any situations or obstacles that needed to be addressed. Today was a training run, yes, but today was also a fun run and it was fabulous...well until the last half mile when I was tired, but you know ;) It was still a good day! Now I know that I can complete the half that I am scheduled to run next month with my dad. And while today's run lasted a half hour longer than I have to complete my half, I have no doubt that Dad and I will get it done and finish before time is up!  Happy running!