You Always Have Room for Me?

When I was pregnant with Mr. Bananas, Bug began to have a tough time with separation anxiety. The bigger I became, the more she clung to me. She always wanted me to hold her hand around the house. Would cry at the top of the stairs or the bottom depending on which way I went. If I left her at Moppets she would cry. She also would tell me the night before that she "is too going to cry!" at Moppets.  This lasted a couple of months after Mr. Bananas' birth.

However, as she would sit crying at my knee while I was nursing, I would say to her, "I always have room for you." Sometimes I would scoot the baby over a little bit and I would have both kids on my lap.  Whenever I put the baby in his rumble chair or if I was just holding him in my arms, she would ask, "You have room for me?" I would say, "of course" and she would snuggle in with us.

Over the course of the last few months I noticed that the tears have stopped and I now have a more confident Bug. She is no longer concerned that I don't have room for her. She knows I will always have room for her.  She still asks, but I think it's more the novelty and also she likes to hear the affirmation that I will always have room for her.

My Dear Sweet Bug,
I will always love you. I will always have room for you. My heart will never be too full and my lap will always have space for one more.

I love you,
Mama

p.s. I can't resist a girl in froggy boots :)

True Middle

I had posted last year about "middle child" syndrome (if there is such a thing).  I recently saw a friend of mine at a grad school mini reunion dinner. We had gone to the same undergrad, too, and majored in human development.  For her senior seminar paper she had written about birth order.

When she met my kids the other week she said that I had the "perfect" birth order. A girl between two boys. My girl will never be a true middle child because she will be the princess between the two boys. She said as long as I don't change anything, I'll have the perfect situation.

I found this very interesting, especially as Buggy has been exhibiting some issues of belonging. She loves being a "big kid" with her older brother. She can be found running around after him. She loves doing the things that he's doing.  On the other hand, sometimes I'll find her in the baby swing or curled up asleep in Mr. Bananas' rumble seat. She'll even loudly proclaim, "I want to be the baby."  She's definitely trying to find out where she belongs.  She is also very territorial. One of my SILs noted it that the last time she visited with some of the kids' cousins. Bug could be found saying, "No that's mine!" Part of it is being 2 1/2 years old, but I think another part is realizing that not all of her toys are hers. She has to share them with her brothers.  But that's true of any kid. Sharing is a part of life.

So is she a true middle child? I don't know. I'd like to think that she is wonderfully her own person, no matter the birth order. I think even if we have another child that she will still be the helpful "little mama" that she's been with Mr. Bananas. I love her passion, her silliness, her love for her brothers, and her sincerity. I look forward to growing with her.

Stuck in the Middle...

I am the oldest of 2 children and my husband is the youngest of five. We compliment each other with our personalities. I tend to be "Type-A" and (somewhat) organized. I have a plan and a list and I always know what's going on in our household.  My husband is more relaxed, less frenzied, though his siblings would say he's intense. (One of BILs laughed when I said my husband was laid back).  Our personalities work together and we tend to balance each other out.  

As we contemplate Baby #3, I have been thinking more and more about the "middle child syndrome" or is it a syndrome that I'm making up? Is there any truth to birth order theories?  I've heard from friends who are middle children or have middle children in their family and there seems to be a concern for middle children. Do they fit anywhere? They aren't the oldest so they don't get to be the "first" and they aren't the youngest, so they aren't babied and when they were babied, they don't have any recollection.  They want to be noticed for who they are and not compared to their siblings.  Yet, it seems they get lost...well, in the middle.

I worry about this because we will be possibly making Baby #2, my beautiful daughter, the middle kid.  I love Buggy's personality! She's fun, feisty, sweet, mischievous, and perfect just the way she is. I don't want to give her a complex because she's become the middle child.

Now of course I'm speaking to this with absolutely no personal point of reference. Like I said, I'm the oldest of two. My husband says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. But somebody out there does!  I told Hubby that if we try for Baby #3, then we absolutely have to try for Baby #4 so there are no middle children...I'm even willing to try for #5 because I feel that even if there is a middle with 5, there would be enough kids to balance it out.

So what do you think? Am I making this up? What is your experience with middle children? Any ideas on how to make the transition smooth for my little girl when the time comes?  I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, whether you are a middle child, have a sibling that's a middle child, or have middle children. What are you experiences and thoughts?