True Middle

I had posted last year about "middle child" syndrome (if there is such a thing).  I recently saw a friend of mine at a grad school mini reunion dinner. We had gone to the same undergrad, too, and majored in human development.  For her senior seminar paper she had written about birth order.

When she met my kids the other week she said that I had the "perfect" birth order. A girl between two boys. My girl will never be a true middle child because she will be the princess between the two boys. She said as long as I don't change anything, I'll have the perfect situation.

I found this very interesting, especially as Buggy has been exhibiting some issues of belonging. She loves being a "big kid" with her older brother. She can be found running around after him. She loves doing the things that he's doing.  On the other hand, sometimes I'll find her in the baby swing or curled up asleep in Mr. Bananas' rumble seat. She'll even loudly proclaim, "I want to be the baby."  She's definitely trying to find out where she belongs.  She is also very territorial. One of my SILs noted it that the last time she visited with some of the kids' cousins. Bug could be found saying, "No that's mine!" Part of it is being 2 1/2 years old, but I think another part is realizing that not all of her toys are hers. She has to share them with her brothers.  But that's true of any kid. Sharing is a part of life.

So is she a true middle child? I don't know. I'd like to think that she is wonderfully her own person, no matter the birth order. I think even if we have another child that she will still be the helpful "little mama" that she's been with Mr. Bananas. I love her passion, her silliness, her love for her brothers, and her sincerity. I look forward to growing with her.

Stuck in the Middle, not so bad....

I guess I showed off my first-born neurotic tendencies in my blog post yesterday in writing about middle children. I'm not good with not knowing, so I have to know everything. If I don't know it, I ask about it and then I analyze it. Oh, boy!

I got a lot of great responses, yesterday, to my post.  Thank you to everyone, who responded!  What it boils down to (and I guess I already knew) is to love each of my children for who they are and what they bring to the table. Each kid will bring his/her own gifts and talents to our family. I will love each one differently, but not any less.  I remember being pregnant with my daughter and wondering how I could love her as much as I love my son. I look at her now and say: How couldn't I love you as much as I do? I love each child so much. They are very different and I love that about them.

Birth order certainly doesn't define a personality (thanks, A), and I will remember to show all of my children that they are loved for who they are (thanks, J), there are certainly middle-children who are fine (thanks, L), and yes, the world needs middle children to make the world go round (thanks, M).  Hubby and I will be the best parents we can be (thanks, R.)  I will continue to  pray for each of my children and I think that is one of the greatest things I can do for them.

The most experience I have had with a middle child is my SIL (sister-in-law). If I had one ounce of her diplomacy I would be a better person and my life would be easier.  She is also an incredible mom who pours her heart into her children making them well rounded, incredible individuals. She's a great example of motherhood. If my Buggy grew up with her diplomacy and heart, that would be a great thing :) (Love you, sis!)

So, as I wrote yesterday's post, I knew that Buggy would be (God-willing) the middle of three kids or the second in a line of four, five, or however many God has planned for us. Hubby and I have already decided that we want more kids, so no matter what, Buggy will be what she already is...our second child.  We'll see what the future holds :)

Stuck in the Middle...

I am the oldest of 2 children and my husband is the youngest of five. We compliment each other with our personalities. I tend to be "Type-A" and (somewhat) organized. I have a plan and a list and I always know what's going on in our household.  My husband is more relaxed, less frenzied, though his siblings would say he's intense. (One of BILs laughed when I said my husband was laid back).  Our personalities work together and we tend to balance each other out.  

As we contemplate Baby #3, I have been thinking more and more about the "middle child syndrome" or is it a syndrome that I'm making up? Is there any truth to birth order theories?  I've heard from friends who are middle children or have middle children in their family and there seems to be a concern for middle children. Do they fit anywhere? They aren't the oldest so they don't get to be the "first" and they aren't the youngest, so they aren't babied and when they were babied, they don't have any recollection.  They want to be noticed for who they are and not compared to their siblings.  Yet, it seems they get lost...well, in the middle.

I worry about this because we will be possibly making Baby #2, my beautiful daughter, the middle kid.  I love Buggy's personality! She's fun, feisty, sweet, mischievous, and perfect just the way she is. I don't want to give her a complex because she's become the middle child.

Now of course I'm speaking to this with absolutely no personal point of reference. Like I said, I'm the oldest of two. My husband says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. But somebody out there does!  I told Hubby that if we try for Baby #3, then we absolutely have to try for Baby #4 so there are no middle children...I'm even willing to try for #5 because I feel that even if there is a middle with 5, there would be enough kids to balance it out.

So what do you think? Am I making this up? What is your experience with middle children? Any ideas on how to make the transition smooth for my little girl when the time comes?  I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, whether you are a middle child, have a sibling that's a middle child, or have middle children. What are you experiences and thoughts?