True Love

Always my Superman

My husband and I recently celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.  We were babies when we were married.  Just graduated from college and working real salaried jobs.  I remember Hubby's father interviewing us before our wedding asking if we knew what we were getting into, to which I replied with, "Of course." He said the real answer is, "No. No we don't."  He was so right. We thought we knew what we were in for, but really we had no clue. I don't know if anyone really knows.  Were we ready, yes. But did we really comprehend what we were doing. Heck no.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions and events over the last 16 years.  And yet, 16 years later, we would still do it all over again.  It was the right decision then, and it's still the right decision now.

When sharing my experiences about true love with some of the teens/young adults that I mentor, I tell them that true love is not flowers and fancy dinners.  True love is your spouse washing vomit filled sheets at two in the morning.  It's tag teaming each other when every single person in your family of six has the stomach flu and no one feels well and everyone is vomiting. You take turns sleeping and cleaning out vomit buckets. It's finding out your 8yo came home with a head full of lice, stripping all the sheets, treating everyone's head, and then picking nits out of each other's head at midnight.  It's looking across the dinner table and laughing at an untold joke. It's being able to read each other so well that few words are needed.

True love is not the fancy stuff, it's the nitty gritty life stuff and doing it together. It's knowing that you can rely on your spouse and that your spouse can depend on you.  I wouldn't give up the last 16 years and I look forward to many more of life's adventures with the love of my life.  It doesn't have to be fancy. It just has to be with him.

12 Years and Grateful

12 Years ago

Last month Hubby and I celebrated 12 years of marriage.  12 years. Wow. I cannot imagine my life with anyone else and I feel that I have been blessed beyond measure.  I'm not saying that all 12 years have been easy or pleasant or without its challenges. Nor am I saying that they were filled with strife and unpleasantness. It's been 12 years of growing, changing, loving, and moving forward.  Change can be hard. Growing up can be hard, but not without its rewards.  My husband and I were engaged right out of college and married a year later. We have grown together over the last 12 years standing side by side.  I feel that my husband has helped me to become the best person I can be for myself, for him, and for my children. He is my rock and my support. And I try my hardest to be the same for him.

12 Years later

This year my parents surprised us by offering to take all three kids for the night so that we could celebrate our anniversary.  We eagerly took them up on their offer and dropped off the kids before dinner on a Saturday night. We then spent the first hour of our date night celebrating Mass.  Our faith is the bedrock of our relationship and what better way to celebrate 12 years of marriage than by attending Mass?  By the way, it is amazing what you can soak in during the homily when you aren't taking children to the potty or childcare, supplying crayons, answering questions, or reading to the offspring.  I appreciated the time that I was able to sit and listen to the homily, be reminded of where I was sitting just 12 years ago, and appreciating how much I have been blessed by my husband and children.

After Mass Hubby and I went to dinner at a little Thai restaurant just down the street from our house.  It's this little hole in the wall restaurant with amazing food.  I could seriously eat there every single day and be content.  It's a good thing I run!  We talked and enjoyed each other's company.  We talked about the past, the present, and the future.  We talked about our blessings. We talked about the children. We just enjoyed being where we were in that particular moment in time. After dinner Hubby asked if there was anything I wanted to do. We could go to the movies, go rock climbing, play mini golf, go bowling...the possibilities were endless. And then we realized that we were both so stinkin' tired from the work week, being parents, potty-training the 2 year old, vacation bible school, Chinese camp, and trying to prepare for a vacation...and we decided that we just wanted to get in our jammies and watch a movie...at home.  That is true love!  Seriously it is. To appreciate one another's company, to realize our own mortality, and to want to just be. To be married. To snuggle. To love and be loved. To know that you are as appreciated as you appreciate your spouse.  That going home is just as much fun as going out...and maybe even more so because you don't have to drive home!

Taken by our 7 year old on our recent beach vacation

We came home. And as we do every year on our anniversary we danced to our wedding song, "When You Say Nothing At All" by Alison Krauss.  We danced in the kitchen our bodies remembering the steps that we tried so hard to learn for our wedding day. We moved side to side, he twirled me slowly, he dipped me just as he did 12 years ago as Alison sang for the last time, "The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall..."And that is love. To dance in the kitchen with no one else around. To dance in the kitchen that has been the stage for so many family dance parties filled with giggles and laughter.  We danced and as the final strains of our wedding song drifted from the speakers we continued to dance to different songs. Some fast and silly and some slow and tender. All of them perfect because they were with the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails... (NIV)

11th Wedding Anniversary

11 Years Later

Last month, Hubby and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary! I can't believe we've been married that long, yet at the same time, it seems only yesterday that I finally had the courage to speak to the cute boy in my Legacy class.

All of the best times in my life have been shared with my husband, and so have some of the most devastating. Yet, through it all, he has been there right by my side. I am blessed.

Last year when we were celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary we had an infant, so dreams of a weekend getaway just the two of us wasn't going to happen.  Hubby declared that we will celebrate our decade of marriage on our 11th wedding anniversary. He had grand plans of taking a long weekend and traveling, just the two of us.  The closer we came to our anniversary, the antsier I became because I was worried about childcare.  I thought about splitting up the kids and sending them to different family and friends or trying to send all three of them to one home for the weekend. Then a falling out happened with one of the parties and I just didn't think we could swing it.

Our anniversary gift to one another: A play set for the kids

We thought about shortening the weekend away. Then we thought about doing just a night away. Then it ended up with us buying a play set for the kids and hiring a babysitter so that we could do dinner out, just the two of us.  Our thoughts of going away to Vegas, maybe Florida, to how about New Jersey, to anything only a short distance away, ending up being "Hey, I'm glad you're still mine and I'm still yours, let's do dinner."

In about 4 years, my eldest niece will be considered an adult and I think we'll have to wait until then so that we can have someone stay with our kids for the weekend while we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  Well, I can dream can't I?

The last 11 years have had their ups and downs and through it all we have been blessed with 3 amazing kids and a love that keeps getting stronger.

Happy 11 years, Superman! I'm looking forward to many more with you! Love, Lois xoxo

As I reflect on our marriage, we still put God first and I'm grateful that we have chosen to be of the same mind and having the same love for one another. We are so blessed.

"Complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind." (Philippians 2:2)


If it's loveAnd we decide that it's forever, no one else could do it betterIf it's loveAnd we're two birds of a feather then the rest is just whatever
And if I'm addicted to loving you and you're addicted to my love tooWe can be them two birds of a feather that flock togetherLove, love, we got to have something to keep us togetherLove, love, that's enough for me (Train--If It's Love)
Read more: TRAIN - IF IT'S LOVE LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/if-its-love-lyrics-train.html#ixzz247HVm8BN
Copied from MetroLyrics.com 

Hitting Our Stride

A few months ago my aunt and uncle came by to give me a hand with the house. They straightened up every room in the house. I was impressed with their efficiency and how little was said as they worked together. They had a certain rhythm that complimented one another.  I wondered if Hubby and I would ever hit that stride.

After almost 11 years of marriage and 3 kids later, it looks like Hubby and I might be hitting our stride.  Since he came home from his big project that took him out of state, Hubby and I seem to be working together more efficiently. We're more in tune with each other and as a result our lives seem to be more harmonious...which I'll probably jinx just by writing this post!

In all seriousness, I have been a bit surprised by how smoothly things are going at home. Not that we fought constantly before or things were majorly chaotic. It's just that things seem to easier. There's less hustle and bustle and more of a flow.  Is this mommy becoming less discombobulated?

I think it has helped that our weekends haven't been over scheduled since he's been home.  I had purposely not scheduled anything the last two weekends because I didn't think he'd be home last weekend and this weekend was the weekend he was supposed to arrive home.  Maybe there's something to that. Hmmmmm. Must file that away for future reference.

Maybe it's because we're still in the honeymoon phase of having him home again. We missed each other terribly while he was away and we're still reveling in our family unit being whole once again.

I also have to say that I was less stressed while he was away because my parents helped immensely while he was gone. They literally came over every other day to give me a hand. Whether it was with dinner, bath time, grocery shopping, or a little straightening up, they were here.  I also had the company of great family and friends to keep me moving (Thanks J. and L!). Oh, and I also slept (sortof).  I made it to bed not much after I put the kids down. After the first couple of nights trying to finish that "one last thing" I decided it wasn't worth it and that getting enough sleep would make more of a difference in what was accomplished the next day. Less stress meant that I was able to greet my husband with a happy heart and a smiling face when he arrived home.

In the almost 15 years that we've been together I am more in love with my husband today than I was early in our relationship. There's something to be said for being able to communicate with just an eyebrow raise or the holding of a hand. I'd like to think that "hitting our stride" is attributed to growing in our relationship, being grateful for one another (especially after being apart for 11 days), and to being less critical of one another (which I can be totally guilty of doing, especially with lack of sleep and feeling at my wit's end!). Most of all, God's grace. He knew that my Hubby would be the perfect compliment to my personality and vice versa.  I am blessed.

Here's to at least another 15 years of hitting our stride and growing old together!

Ephesians 4:2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God

"Let Me Be As Christ to You"

Hubby and I just celebrated our 10 wedding anniversary.  We've been together almost 15 years. We met in college and became friends. On my 19th birthday while I was working in the college library reshelving books, he approached me in a Superman t-shirt and said, "Hello Lois."  He asked me on a date and on my 19th birthday we began a relationship that has continued into marriage.

Our wedding theme was, "See Ye First the Kingdom of God." It was my prayer in college to seek God first before anything else.  When I did, he blessed me with a Christian man who later became my husband.

I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I have a temper, I think I am always right, I'm quite stubborn, and I am passionate about goals, life, and the way I think things should be. But my husband sees through it all, and still finds me to be one he has wanted to be with for the rest of his life. I'm blessed.

My husband is quite stubborn as well.  He thinks he is always right and rolls his eyes when I come up another scheme for something or other (volunteer coordinator, writing the MOPs newsletter, etc). Yet as frustrating as he can be, he is still the one I want by my side for the rest of my life.

"Seek Ye First" was sung before I walked down the aisle. Friends of ours sang "The Servant Song" as part of our wedding Mass. And we danced to Alison Krauss's "When You Say Nothing At All" for our first dance.

Music is a part of our lives and I often feel that it echoes the thoughts and emotions that I have on a daily basis. In The Servant Song it reminds us to serve on another through life and "to have the grace to let you be my servant too."  And in When You Say Nothing At All the line that resonates with me is "the touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall."

Dear Superman,

Thank you for choosing me to be your wife. Let us continue to seek God first in our marriage. Please allow me to be your servant and I pray that God grants me the grace to let you be my servant, too.  Thank you for always catching me whenever I fall. You say it best when you say nothing at all. I love you!

Love, Lois