New Year's Resolutions 2013

I've decided to look back over last year's resolutions and see if I've stuck to any of them and to decide what I want to work on in the new year. I think it's important to set goals, reflect, and adjust as needed.

Last year's resolutions included 1) spending more time with my kiddos, 2)  saying no to volunteering in leadership positions, 3) write, write, write, 4) spending more time with God through devotions.

So how did I do?

My priorities

I think I have spent more time with my kids. Again, I know it sounds silly that I posted I wanted to spend more time with my kiddos since I am a stay at home and don't I already spend a ton of time with them?  Well sort of, but usually they are playing around me while I clean the house or accompanying me on errands. Not exactly quality time.  I think I am doing better. I think I need to alter that and say I want to be present:  not on my phone, not on the computer, not letting the kids play around me as I clean and take care of chores, but actually be present. Play a game with them, have conversations, read stories, and be with them.  This year when we had family movie night I put away my crochet project and watched the movie with the kids...that is when I didn't fall asleep from sheer exhaustion ;)   The little kids and I spent a lot of time reading stories before nap time and that has been fun.  Boogie and I bonded over swim team meets and staying up late to meet the team at McDonald's to retrieve his ribbons while the little kids went home with Daddy and went to bed.

I'm happy to say that I said no to volunteer leadership positions. I was not on the planning committee for Summer religion camp but was happily a preschool teacher for a week.  I think teaching is my true calling and I was happy to do it. I was also happy that it was only a week.  I prefer teaching older kids, but those preschoolers sure are cute!  I dropped the leadership position in MOPS and that has made things so much easier.  I'm still in MOPS but I'm debating in dropping it for the Spring Semester to spend more time with Hubby when he is off from work on his flex Fridays. I still volunteer by crocheting baby blankets for the knitting/crocheting ministry and for friends, teach infant baptism classes, and participating in Summer Religion Camp.

Write, write, write. Oh, I wish I had the time to write more often.  I still don't get to write as often as I would like, and I think I've actually written less this year. Huh. I need to get on that.

I have been able to spend more time in devotions and found a great devotional blog at Proverbs 31 Ministries.  It's been a part of my morning routine and I found that when I found the time for God, my days goes more smoothly. It's a time of daily reflections and for focusing my day.  This is now a daily routine and I don't have to add it as a resolution because it's just a part of my day. Awesome!

In addition to what I have written above I want to add/extend the following to this year's resolutions:

Accomplish Tasks with a Happy Heart
Lately I have found that I am grumbling throughout my day when I have to accomplish tasks or have to help someone.  It's not a good attitude to have and makes daily tasks and acts of service much less fun.  If I can approach my chores or times I have to help someone with a happy heart, I might find the service more rewarding.  Just the other day I was getting a few things done to help me get the kids out the door when my daughter helped my youngest son by wiping his face and hands after breakfast and lifting him out of his booster seat. With a cheerful, "I cleaned up Mr. Bananas, Mommy" he was done.  I love her servant heart and I want to act in the same way.  She continues to be a shining example of the kind of person I would like to be.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, have the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.  Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.  Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also the interests of others.  Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,... (Philippians 2:1-423 ESV)  

My new favorite shoes,
a pair of Bikila LS

Run a Half-Marathon in 2013

I could just as easily write, lose weight, be healthier, run more. But I figure I can accomplish all of those tasks if I train and run a half-marathon this year.  In late September I really got back into running. Running no longer became a "have-to" and a dreaded activity, it became a "How can I get through the day without my daily run? I can't."  My running life changed after reading Born to Run By Chris McDougall.  It was a recommendation given to me by my husband's sister and brother-in-law.  I switched from wearing stability running shoes to my beloved Vibram 5 Fingers.  When I ran I found that I lost weight without actively trying and I felt great.  I find that I am in a better mood when I run at least 2 1/2 miles a day.  Due to injuries and strains over the last few months I have not been able to run as I would like.  Fortunately, in the last week I have been able to get back into it. It's been tough and I have to build my base again, but every day is a little easier.  Right now I'm eyeing an iron girl half-marathon that will take place in April...we'll see if I can make it!

But you, take courage!  Do not let your hand be weak, for your work shall be rewarded. 
(2 Chronicles 15:7 ESV)

Write, Write, Write

This one goes back on the list because I haven't accomplished it.  All of my 2012 goals were accomplished except for this one. I still write, but definitely not as often as I have in the past.  It's been put on the back burner because of time. But this is my goal not only for right now, but for after my kids are in school full-time and I may have a little more time on my hands (I said "may." I realize that my time is quickly replaced when one thing moves off my plate.)  But after 2 years it's still on my mind daily so I'm not quick to write this one off ;)

As each has received a gift, use it to serve on another, as good stewards of God's varied grace:  whoever speaks , as one who speaks oracles of God;  whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.  (1 Peter 4:10-11 ESV)

As for the new year, I wish all of you peace, love, and hope.  I pray that you will be given peace when worries and anxieties creep in to your life.  I pray that you receive love and give love. Love and kindness make this world a better place and what better place to start than with you.  I pray that you find hope when prospects look dismal. The glass is not half-empty, it's half-full.  May you have a wonderful year of blessings. Peace be with you.

Turn that Frown Upside Down

In Kindergarten, my son and his classmates were encouraged to write all the time. They had prompts everyday and free writing on Fridays. I attribute these practices to his current love for writing...and maybe because he has a few of  my genes :)

One day he was given a prompt about how he was feeling. He was really happy (excited is more like it) and drew a huge smiley face upside down. When he realized his mistake he drew arrows to correct it. It made me smile and realize that we can always turn that frown upside down.

Today I feel happy because I am going to Spanish class on Friday.

Whirlwind Life

I haven't had two minutes to sit down, much less two minutes to write. I'm feeling like I'm missing a limb, when I don't write. I have so much swirling in my head and I'm constantly "writing" posts in my head, but have not had the time to write anything down.

So much has gone on that I can't cover it all in one post.  Since my last post, Mr. Bananas has turned 7 months old. (It's been so long since I've written that he'll be 8 months this week!), I've been running around with the Asian Invasion applying for jobs and going to interviews, I've been blessed to be have been designated the Godmother for my BFF's first son, celebrated at a friend's wedding, and finally joined the rest of the world in getting a Smartphone (coming on FRIDAY!).  I know there is so much more and I'll have to go through pictures to remember what's been going on with my life.

I have so much to share and I will, soon. I promise. I have pictures to post and celebrations to share.  Life is very much a whirlwind. There are days where I am so tired that I've been falling asleep in my dinner, but at the same time, feeling that I'm finally accomplishing some things that have been on my to-do list.

Take care and hope to catch up soon!

Love Languages

Love language or as I like to call it "Why Can't I Make you Hear Me?" - I recently discovered (and this may be no surprise to those closest to me) that my "love language" is affirmation. I know that I am loved when I hear words of affirmation.

When I think about the time I worked outside the home, I know that I worked my hardest and did my best when I heard words of encouragement and words of affirmation. At home, it's a little harder to hear words of affirmation because at this time in my life I am devoted to serving my family.  Little ones don't always give you words of affirmation. That is not to say that they don't give them at all, they do. But maybe not as often as I need them.

Growing up, my family wasn't big on words of affirmation.  I think my mom's love language is service. I remember asking my father why my mom rarely said, "I love you" or rarely gave hugs and kisses and he often said that when she cleaned my room, provided us with food to eat, and gave us clothes that she thought we would like that was how we were to know she loved us. That's hard to understand when you're little. Again, I think this is a cultural thing. I heard that when my mom went back to visit her family after 17 years of being gone, her mother didn't hug her. My grandmother just cried.

I realize that I need words of affirmation. I sometimes think my husband doesn't always give them to me because he doesn't want to placate me or say something just to make me feel good. He wants me to toughen up. But sometimes, I need to hear it. I need to know that I'm a good mom or a good wife. I think he thinks it's my "brand of crazy" and he isn't signing up for that. 

While words of affirmation will lift me up and I would to the end of the world for you, silence and snarkiness will make me curl up and crumble. I know. It's sad and I should be tougher than that. But I learned long ago that silence and the cold shoulder treatment are my kryptonite. I'm very sensitive to negative language and actions. And I'm fortunate that my husband has never used my kryptonite against me.

While making this self-discovery I realized that some of the communication issues I have with my parents is that we don't speak the same love language. They don't understand me and probably don't even realize that their words bring me up or tear me down. Or maybe they do. I don't know.Something that I'll have to learn to do is not to live on the words and actions of others. You would think at the age of 33 I would have learned this already. But my hurts are deep and I've had them a long time.  It will take some more time to move on. Can you redefine a love language?

One night while chatting about this topic my SIL asked me where I find my affirmation. To my embarrassment I didn't have an answer right away. She asked if I received it from my writing and I do. I write because it's my catharsis. I write because once I unload what's in my heart, I'm able to take a step and move on. This is my online diary, my brain dump,  my catharsis and you my dears, are along for the ride in my crazy roller coaster of emotions.  

My children can be and have been affirming. Boogs tells me he loves me everyday. Buggy loves spending time with me and asks if she makes me happy. Even Mr. Bananas sends me his love with a wide gummy smile.

Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful life. My husband and my children are my loves and I know that they love me.  

This just has been a topic on my heart for a while. I wish that I communicated better with my parents and my brother. I wish I could decipher their love languages better and love them the way they need to be loved. I'm working on it with my brother and I believe he's doing the same with me.

1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.