A Reminder, She is Still Little

Buggy started school this week.  Today she went to her last first day of preschool.  She has been so nervous. Last year she screamed all the way down the hall to her preschool classroom. I was hoping we would not have a repeat this year. She was especially nervous because she was attending a new school and would have to make new friends and meet new teachers.  Even though I knew that this was God's providence is providing the right school for us this year, I am human and every now and again doubted my decision.  Especially when she got a post card from the new teacher at her old school.  We loved Mrs. T., but I also knew that the old school was no longer a good fit for us for a variety of reasons.

"Painting" a brick at the Preschool play date.

However, God is God and knows that we have doubts. So when we showed up for the preschool play date and ran into 4 or 5 families we knew, I knew it was the right choice. When she skipped to her classroom and barely glanced back after she entered the doorway, I knew it was the right choice.  Seeing her happy face at the end of the day, I knew it was the right choice.

My Buggy is a tall girl and takes on a lot of responsibility, especially with her baby brother.  She mothers him and loves on him and is my right hand. Sometimes I do forget that she is only 4 years old.  She acts and carries herself like an older child, most of the time. And then I see the anxiety on her face when we talk about starting at a new school and I see that she is still little.  I see her skip from destination to destination, and I realize she is still little. When she cuddles up with her favorite blanket and puts her thumb in her mouth, I realize she is still little.

Anxious about meeting her new teacher, attending the preschool open house, and exchanging her beautiful light up shoes for shoes that don't hurt her feet made her one tired lady who fell asleep in the van before noon.

Yesterday, we went to an open house for the preschool. She was nervous about meeting her new teacher. Anytime someone spoke to her she would face me, slump her shoulders, and sort of whimper. It was really sad.  Bananas, on the other hand, had no trouble asserting himself and went to play with the big kids and the preschool toys.  After going to the open house we had to go to the mall and return her light-up shoes for shoes that wouldn't hurt her feet. It was not on my list of things to do yesterday, but after complaining that her feet hurt on the way to take Boogie to school and then hanging out in the stroller for the walk back, I realized we had to return the shoes.  She wore them for about 10 minutes total. She now has her first pair of "tie" shoes. Oh, boy!

Between meeting her new teacher, attending the preschool open house, and getting new shoes. My poor girl fell asleep in the van on the way home. She was so exhausted she fell asleep before noon. Another reminder, she is still little.

This morning I went to the gym before the house woke up.  When I came home, I heard murmured voices upstairs. I realized that one of the children had woken up. It was Buggy. And I could hear her tiny four year old lispy voice talking to her daddy. And I was reminded, she is still little. I could not hear their conversation, but it was sweet to come home and hear their voices together in conversation.

Today, I dropped off my big little girl to her last first day of preschool. As she skipped to her classroom in her new purple shoes with laces, and her hair swinging side to side, I saw she was still little. And I am grateful.

Posing for the camera

She wanted to wear her sunglasses in her "first day" pictures.

Someone is definitely ready for school!

And this sweet face is how I always think of her.
A reminder, she is still little.

God's Providence

Have you ever been struck with the sense that something needs to change and you're not sure if it's the right thing to do?  My daughter is currently enrolled in a preschool that we loved when my son went there.  We were very happy with the 3 year old program and the 4 year old program.  My son came home sharing Bible stories and singing songs.  To this day he fondly remembers his preschool teachers and how they are allowed to teach about God.  Buggy has a late birthday so all of last year while Boogie was in kindergarten, Buggy stayed home with me. This year she was able to attend preschool and she has loved it and her teachers.

After the Sandy Hook tragedy Bug's preschool placed a full-time police officer in the front lobby and we had to be diligent with showing our laminated cards with our child's name in order to enter the building. I thought it was a little extreme, but it was put in place after Sandy Hook, so we just went with the flow. Rather be safe than sorry. However, in my humble opinion I thought the administration and staff at Sandy Hook had done everything they could have possibly done to make their school safe and it was a bizarre and tragic event that took hold of their school.  That was in the back of my mind as our school began to make changes.

Time went on and pre-registration came up. The school had a new system that was online with little explanation. Knowing that the preschool is very popular and can be difficult to get in, I panicked and had my husband do the registration from work since  registration opened when I would be in the middle of getting my kids ready for school.  My husband diligently spent quite a while on the phone and with the online registration to finally get Buggy enrolled. I was annoyed with the new process, but figured it would be worth it.

Then not a few weeks later rumors started to swirl around that Buggy's current teacher would no longer be teaching. The question was, is she retiring? Then we found out the 4's teacher was not returning.  What's going on?  But nothing was out publicly and no word had been said, but parents started to become anxious.  More rumors spread that the 3's teacher was leaving to start another preschool (she had founded Buggy's preschool and been there more than 20 years) and that the school did not want us to know before registration although the teacher wanted us to know. Hmmmmm. Okay, I understand why the school didn't want to risk losing enrollment. People line up to have Mrs. E. be their child's teacher.  But I thought it was a little shady.

Later we found out that indeed our beloved teacher was leaving and she was leaving to start another preschool program elsewhere.  Our beloved 4's teacher was leaving as her husband had found a new job and they were moving. Two wonderful teachers leaving at the same time. We were blown away. Hubby and I started talking about switching schools to another program that would fit our schedule better. As it stood now, I was having trouble getting Buggy to school on time because I had to drop off Boogie first at his school.  The new preschool also had a two year old program so if we wanted to, we could enroll Mr. Bananas in school. I know he would LOVE it.  As we contemplated the switch we found out Buggy's new teacher in the 4's program would be her current teacher's aide and that was good news. But I still felt unsettled. Another two weeks passed and the school went into a code blue, kids were locked in their classrooms and preschoolers could not be dismissed. We found out later that a high school student had left his backpack with a homemade musical instrument in the senior high worship center over night.  The police officer on duty had noticed the bag and no one had stepped up to claim it, no one knew who it belonged to, and they couldn't identify the musical instrument. Next steps were taken and the bomb squad was called in, the backpack was blown up, and fortunately it ended up being a mistake. It was not a bomb, just a homemade instrument. However, the school is now instituting random locker checks and backpack searches. The school is preK-8th grade. These turn of events left me more unsettled.

 I worried and Hubby and I continued to talk. Long story short, I ended up calling the new preschool at 7pm on a Monday night hoping an answering machine would pick up my call. To my disbelief the director of the school answered the phone. I was so shocked I think I asked her if she was real. She assured me she was and we spoke over the next half hour about her school's program and set up a tour date. She even scheduled it early in the morning so that Hubby could make it to work at a decent time.  Before we hung up I told her that I was surprised she answered my call and I didn't think that preschool directors were still working at 7:00 at night. She answered, "I usually don't. I had a meeting tonight and came in early to do some paperwork. I think this was God's providence that I was here when you needed me. I look forward to seeing you." Well if that didn't seal the deal, I don't know what else could have...oh wait, how about the Protestant school had decided to do a lesson on Mary, mother of God, for Mother's Day. That usually doesn't happen in a Protestant school, and I was thrilled that there was a focus on the mother of our savior.  Jesus is usually the focus, but I think Mary should get a shout out every now and again. I mean really, she is the first disciple and said, "Yes" to God.

Anyway, we went to the school, took the tour and we really liked the director. Hubby asked her if it was true that she was retiring at the end of the year. She confirmed it. We asked her if she knew the new director and she said yes but she wasn't at liberty to share the information yet.  We asked if the integrity of the program would stay intact. She was the founding director of this preschool. She assured us it would be. We decided to enroll Buggy anyway and leave it up to God. The very human side of me still worried, but at the same time Hubby and I felt that this was the right decision for us and for our family.  We were concerned about Bananas not having Mrs. E. when his turn came but we would rely on God for next steps. We left the new preschool thinking we made the right decision, but of course feeling slightly uneasy being out of our comfort zone.

Wouldn't you know that I received an amazing email this morning, less than a week from enrolling Buggy for next year at the new school.  The director of our religious education program at our parish was stepping down because she was presented with a new opportunity to become a director at a local preschool. Guess where? Yes! She was the new director at Buggy's new school. God is so good!  It is amazing to me when I hear God's answer to prayer and it is definite. There is no guessing game. It is an absolute answer one way or another. God answered my prayers, took away my anxiety, and confirmed through the new director's email, that Buggy is where she is supposed to be next year. What a blessing and a huge weight off our shoulders. Hubby and I could not be more thrilled with the turn of events.

We just felt that our current school was no longer the right fit for us and we hesitantly moved out of our comfort zone. We prayed, I worried, and desperately tried to let God take over the situation. Letting go has always been hard for me. God has shown me over the years, in more ways than I can count, that He is in charge. This time was no different. We are so blessed and we look forward to next Fall filled with joy and relief.

As my babies grow up and begin school, the thought of what I will do next looms over me. Do I go back to work? What do I do? What opportunity will present itself?  Can I stay home?  Should I stay home while the kids are in school?  All of this nibbles away at me while I try to let go and let God take over.  However, this most recent blessing reminds me, very loudly and very clearly, that God has a plan for me and that I should not worry. It will present itself when the time comes. Just as I knew 5 years ago that I should stay home full-time with my children.  God will let me know when He is ready to use me again and how I will serve Him and my family. God is so good.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Matt 6:25-27 NIV

End to the First Week of School 2012

Boogie had a great start to the school year. It was wonderful to see him get back into the groove of things pretty easily. However, it took the entire week of school until Sunday for him to settle. During the week and part of the weekend, he just bounced everywhere and had a terrible time following directions from mommy and daddy. He holds it together so well in school, that I think he can't contain himself once he's let out of the building. On Sunday, I was relieved to see a somewhat calmer Boogie Man. He sang next to us in Church, and I absolutely love it when he sings. I think his singing and my kids' giggles might be my favorite sound in the entire world.

Before all the screaming began.

Buggy had a great first day of school and a very tough start to the second day. On the second day, the students go by themselves and it lasts only an hour. Buggy started the morning telling me she wasn't feeling well and maybe she should stay home from school so that she doesn't get the other kids sick. How thoughtful. She had a sniffly nose, but was otherwise just fine. Just very, very nervous and anxious. My mom came to take Boogie to school and Buggy lost it. She started crying and screaming about how she wanted to go with Lola to drop off Boogie at his school.  I had to physically hold her down to buckle her into her carseat as she arched her back, cried, and screamed.  Her wailing became louder the closer we came to her school. By the time we made it into the parking lot, it was piercing. I opened up the van door and she was clutching her carseat. I had to pry her fingers off of the seat. When I took her out of the car, I closed and locked it. She immediately turned to it and clawed at the van to go back in.  I had to physically drag her to the front doors of the building and down the hall as she literally dug in her heels and wailed all the way to the classroom. Thank goodness the preschool team is awesome. They looked up immediately and the TA gently grabbed Buggy and pulled her away from me. I kissed her hand and took off running, only to be reminded as I headed out the door that the kids were supposed to have something for show and tell and did Buggy have anything by chance? Epic Mommy fail. No, I didn't. Fortunately, a MOPS friend saw the fiasco and followed me to the van. After some digging around I came up with an audio book and my friend dropped it off for me. Whew!  Mr. Bananas and I ended up hanging out in the van waiting for Buggy.  When I came to pick her up, she had a big grin on her face, bounced out of her classroom, and told me it was the "funnest day ever" and asked if we could do it again.  Yes, I'm happy to do it again, just without all the drama.

I'm happy that the kids are doing well and that the first week ended well. I think both kids will have a wonderful school year and I'm really looking forward to hanging out with Mr. Bananas when it's just the two of us. I don't think he minds that the big kids are in school, it means Mama can give him all the attention his little heart desires.

The early mornings are wearing out the kids and they are going to bed earlier. They fall asleep quickly and ready for the new day. Now if only Mama can get to bed early, too. Wouldn't that be something!

Mr. Bananas waiting for Buggy to get out of school.

Oh, that face. I love it. Can't you just see the mischievous twinkle in his eyes? 

First Days of School

Both Boogie and Buggy started school this week. Boogie started first grade yesterday and Buggy entered the preschool world today starting in the 3's class.

Find comfort in Mama's bed

Boogie has been bouncing off the walls the past few weeks. He has been excitable and has had amazing energy. There didn't seem to be enough for him to do to exert all of his excess energy.  He finally brought it up on Thursday that he was a little nervous about school. I think that while he knew that he would be starting school again, not knowing the exact day or his teacher, it made him anxious. It helped immensely that we were able to check out the class lists on Thursday night. He knew his teacher and it helped that his kindergarten teacher is known for playing good-natured pranks with Boogie's new teacher.  We attended his school's open house on Friday and met his teacher. He was really pleased when she said she knew him and that she had seen him in Mr. S's class last year. He also had two former classmates in the same class. They were able to pick their seats and he chose to sit with them.  I am really excited to know one of the parents in the class. She and I got along really well last year and we were both happy to have our children in the same class again.

After meeting Boogie's teacher, Boogie was ready to go next door to see his kindergarten teacher and give him a big hug. Even Buggy gave Boogie's kindergarten teacher a hug. It made starting first grade a lot less scary. However, on Sunday night, I did find Boogie fast asleep in my bed when I finally climbed the stairs much later in the evening.  I guess he was more anxious than I realized. Hubby put him back in his bed and we prepared ourselves for having a first grader in the family.

Buggy and Lola on the way to Boogie's school

Boogie woke up early, ate breakfast, brushed his teeth, and dressed himself without having to be asked. He was so excited!  My mom came over to walk Boogie to school. The kids loved seeing her.

It was a great day and Boogie had so much to share with us when he came home from school. I think this will be another wonderful year. Thanks, Mr. S. for choosing a good teacher for our Boogie Man.

We finished Boogie's first day of school with a dinner of his choice made by Mommy and a trip to our favorite ice cream stand for dessert.

Today was Buggy's very first day of preschool. She is in a 3's class and has the same teacher Boogie had when he was three.  We love Mrs. E. and I love that she teaches that we make God #1 in our lives. Buggy was up one hour earlier than she had to be this morning. She was so excited to pull out her new book bag.  Hubby took the day off so that I could go with Buggy to her class. Her school requires that a parent stay with the preschooler for the first day and they ask that siblings stay home. So Hubby took the day off and he and Bananas walked Boogie to school while Buggy and I went to her school.  We started our morning with a yummy breakfast of caramel rolls and bacon and left in our separate directions. Buggy was a bit shy today, but advocated for herself twice when wanted more stickers to decorate her paper.  I loved that when I couldn't give her more stickers, she politely asked her teacher who was handing out more.  Buggy is excited to go again on Thursday and to go by herself. I think she will be just fine.

Buggy's first ever first day of preschool!

We will finish her special day with a dinner out at our favorite family restaurant and maybe a dessert. She was excited to be able to choose the restaurant to honor her first ever first day of school!

I'm a little nervous about how I'm going to juggle Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  Boogie can be at school as early as 8:30 and Buggy needs to be at her school by 8:45. I think I'm going to have to put everyone in the car, drop off Boogie at the front of the school, keep on going and take Buggy to school. It will mean a lot of coordination and compliant children. It means that I will have to be on the ball and have everything ready each morning.  It means I'll have to be realistic and know that Buggy may be late a few times because things happen.  I'll have to cut myself a break when things don't go smoothly when we have very little wiggle room in our time frame.

I'm looking forward to the big kids starting on their new adventures and for some special one-on-one time with Mr. Bananas.  It's going to be a good year!

Super confident 1st Grader!

How we like to end the first day of school.

That backpack is bigger than Buggy!

Happy to be starting preschool.

Happy to be starting 1st Grade!

A Teacher Who "Gets" Him

Professor Boogie trying on his teacher's glasses

Now that I'm on the other side of the table, I want to make sure that my children get a teacher who "gets" them. Understands them, nurtures them, challenges them, educates them, and just "gets" them. I hope I was a teacher who "got" her students. There are times I look back and felt that I could have connected better, taught better, been more empathetic, should have challenged more, been more nurturing...

We have been really, really blessed with the teachers Boogie has had. His preschool teachers taught him that God is #1 and he's held that close to his heart for the last two years. Hopefully longer.  They have strengthened the strong foundation in Christ that my husband and I have laid down for him.

This year we could not have been happier with his kindergarten teacher. He is a teacher who "gets" his students. He understands them, challenges them, nurtures them. He's given Boogs a great foundation in academics.  I spoke to him the other day about next year. With Boogs being on the wait list for the language immersion programs he'll be going back to his current school.  I asked Mr. S. about next year's placement.  He said he already knows who he wants for Boogs. And as I looked at him and was about to voice my own anxiety he said, "Don't worry, she'll 'get' him." Me: "She'll get him?"  Mr. S. "Yes, she'll get him. She has a Boogie, too." And with that little exchange, I felt that Boogs is going where he's supposed to be next year.  I feel good about the transition and feel confident that next year will be a good year.  At any rate, I'm not worried and that's a good thing :)

Maybe I should have asked if the teacher will "get" me, too ;)

Preschool Graduation

Boogie with his preschool teacher

Yesterday was Boogie's graduation from preschool. I had been sentimental all week as I prepared for it.  I finally convinced Hubby that he should leave work early to come to the last sing of the year and for the graduation ceremony. I know he is a busy man, but I think that sometimes you have to take a time out from your work life and be there for some of the milestones. (He absolutely does try, but his boss is crazy and freaks out when he takes some time off...like when I have a baby.)

The last sing of the year was sweet and the kids did a wonderful job singing. Thanks to my handy dandy birthday present from Hubby, I was able to record everything on my new Flip cam. Love it!  I looked a little crazy with the baby strapped in his carrier on the front of me,  my camera bag hanging across my body, while Buggy sat half asleep (no nap) with her thumb in her mouth, and me trying to capture every word on my Flip. But it was golden and once again I reveled in the fact that I was able to do this and be there for my son for this milestone. And what a treat it was to have Hubby show up in the middle and surprise Boogs.

After the sing, we all trooped back from the auditorium to the classroom where the teacher presented graduation certificates and special certificates with biblical character traits.  Boogie was given a certificate showing that he demonstrated the traits of Daniel and the gift of insight.  I loved hearing how each child demonstrated a specific trait. What a neat idea!

After graduation, Hubby and I took the kids for ice cream and then for dinner. I know, backwards, but we wouldn't have gotten them to sleep the other way around :)

I am so appreciative to the preschool teachers Boogs has had over the last three years.  They are kind people and have a passion for teaching children.  I look forward to Bug having some of the same teachers when she starts school in another year. I am so looking forward to kindergarten because I just know that Boogie is going to absolutely love it. But I'm going to miss him and I'm going to realize just how quickly time flies once he's in school full-time.  I wonder if I will have appreciated him enough when he was home full-time. We'll find out.

Congratulations to my sweet Boogs. I love you. You make me so proud!

Ever Have One of those Days?

Yesterday morning started out like any other morning in a harried mother's life.  The lottery for our application registration for my son's preschool was scheduled on a Monday morning at 8am. Doors close at 8:05am. A head count is taken and then the process begins.  Try getting out of the house with two small children, ages 1 and 3, by 7:30 in order to get to the school before the doors are slammed shut for registration.  Of course, my kids have been sick, and of course they are on nebulizer treatments so this means my 3 year old is up bouncing around at night until 9pm until the effects of the treatment wear off.  This is not conducive to waking the children at 6:30am!

The night before I asked my husband to make sure I wake up when his alarm goes off at 5:30am. This would give me enough time to shower, eat breakfast, put ingredients in the slowcooker for dinner, pack all the things we need for our day because we wouldn't be back until 4pm (this includes the extra change of clothes for a 3 year old who still has occasional accidents with going to the potty) and possibly make a dish to bring to my friend's house for our playdate.  I woke up at 6:15am to the sounds of the shower running. FAIL!!! I'm already 45 minutes behind. I have a tight schedule. I can't be behind!!!!  I bolt out of bed to my husband's bewilderment.  I head down the stairs and start putting together a slowcooker meal. He comes down and helps, but I'm already jamming with all the needs to be done. I managed to prepare dinner, take a shower, throw a load of laundry in, and wake up the 3 year old by....7:25am. FAIL!!! Now I have about 20 minutes (if I still plan to make it to the lottery) to change and feed both children and get everything out to the car. Still not done:  me eating breakfast (I completely forgot), meal for friend, nebulizer treatment for the 3 year old.

I manage to dress and feed both kids waffles in the car. We left at 7:53, arrived at the school at 8:03am. We are literally running through the parking lot. Me clutching the baby likes she's a football and the 3 year old trying to run in snow boots. Oh, yeah, did I mention it's winter? So we need jackets, mittens, hats, and boots?  The principal opens the door to the lobby and says, "Take a deep breath, we haven't shut the doors yet."  I'm near tears by the time I sit down...tears of relief, tears of frustration. My adrenaline is pumping and I'm thinking...it's only 8:03am! How can I be stressed and anxious at 8:03am!!!  As I'm trying to collect myself, another mother who I recognize from the school with children near the same age as my own has the same frazzled and worn look about her. She whispers across the aisle, "I can't believe I made it. My kids haven't even eaten breakfast yet." We swap stories about our morning as we wait for the lottery.  By the end of the ordeal I got number 46 out of 50 for the lottery. Which means that I'm way down the list for getting my preferences for classes...but I'm pretty sure that my son will be enrolled next year.

Scene 2: Go home because it's still another 45 minutes before our follow-up dr.'s appointment. This is our fifth appointment in 3 weeks. My daughter had a double-ear infection and my son had pneumonia.  This was our final appointment to get see if we get a clean bill of health and we do.  But before going we stopped at home so my 3 year old can get a nebulizer treatment. This is when I also realize that I have yet to eat breakfast. I call my husband to fill him in on the lottery and I eat breakfast while my son gets his treatment.  Then it's another mad dash out the door for the doctor's appointment.

Scene 3:  Doctor's office. The kids get a clean bill of health. Yay!!!!  But of course I decide, "Hey they're better, let's get them immunized and vaccinated." Nothing like being a glutton for punishment. Both kids were given the H1N1 vaccine and my daughter was given one of the immunizations needed at 15 months. Both kids are crying, however, the sweet moment of the day happened when the 3 year old told the baby, "Don't cry, it's okay" even though his tears were still glistening in his eyes. We make it out of the doctor's office, in one piece.

Scene 4:  Playdate!  This was the highlight of our day. I have dear friend who was once my college roommate. If she still likes me 13 1/2 years later, then I'd say I'm pretty lucky.  We have children close in age. Our first borns are 3 weeks apart and our 2nd borns are 6 months apart.  Not too shabby.  Even though her family lives an hour away, it is so totally worth it for us to make time to get together. Our children love playing with one another and this gives us a chance to catch up. This was the rejuvenation my soul so needed. The kids played while we chatted away. By the time we left my patience was back, the calm had returned, and I was right where I needed to be...being a positive energy for my kids and husband.