Family

I know I have been busy and I haven't been posting, but I am shocked to realize that I did not post at all in December!  Life has been incredibly busy for us. Hubby has been working on a 6 month rotation in another office and has been coming home late each night. I've had to take care of homework, driving to activities, take kids to appointments, have our evening dinners without him, and take care of the bedtime rituals.  In some ways, I feel like a single parent during the week. The upside is that Hubby has truly enjoyed his rotation.  The kids and I miss him and we soak up every single minute with him during the weekends.

Recently, I was offered an incredible opportunity to do some consulting work from home. When I was first approached in October, I was very excited and it was very doable. However, it didn't pan out in October and my time was quickly filled with volunteer work.

October through January is an incredibly busy time for us. It kicks off with Buggy's birthday in October and then continues with hosting Thanksgiving (I think we hosted 42 people this year?!?), my mom's birthday, advent, baking cookies for the neighbors, shopping or making Christmas gifts, Christmas Eve at my SIL's house, hosting Christmas dinner this year (this time it was only 13), and then a string of visits with family and friends while the kids were on vacation.  We packed in a lot of activity between the end of October until today when the kids went back to school.  To top it all off, 4 out of the 5 of us were sick at any given time and Hubby was working until 9pm or so and coming home late. Needless to say, by the time the kids and Hubby started Christmas break we were all exhausted and the festivities were just beginning.  A lot of it I had to handle solo because of Hubby's schedule and it was really hard.

About three weeks ago, I was approached again by the same company to do some consulting work and I was ready to turn in my resume and write my blurb for their website.  But then we all got sick, Hubby was working late, and time kept running away from me and every night I went to bed frustrated by what did not get accomplished in the 24 hours given to me.  Sadly, I realized that I could not make it work.  It was not the right time for me to begin working again. The job opportunity was amazing and most of the work could be done from home and I could manage my own time and the company was family friendly. So why did I decline the offer? If the last few weeks were any indication of how my life was going, there was no way I could commit to any project at any time. As it stood, I had no time to sit down to even send out my resume and that was already done!  Hours were flying by and I was exhausted just trying to keep up.  I made the difficult decision to say, "Not at this time" and it was painful to do it.

However, I realized that right now I need to focus on my family.  There have been many days recently where I have had to play mother and father. While I was sad to step away from the job offer and bring in a little income for my family and keep up with current educational practices, I realized that now was not the time for me to focus on something new.  While I contemplated this and continued to mull it over, the homily for this past Sunday was on family.  I am a firm believer that God speaks to us in many ways and often will affirm decisions made. I have felt his gentle nudge and sometimes kick in the pants when having to make a specific decision.  When I was at church I heard His voice through the homily and realized that God was telling me to focus on my family right now.

Okay, God. I hear you. I will trust that another opportunity will come again at a better time.  You have not let me down yet, and I know that you are guiding my path. I will surrender to your will and wait. Thank you for the reminder that I am still needed wanted in the workforce, thank you for reminding me that right now my job is my family. I will listen and I will wait.

A friend shared with me that my job as a mother is mostly behind the scenes and so very important.  She said that I make home a welcoming place to be. It is warm and loving. It is a place where my husband is happy to be after a long day at work. It's a place where my children feel loved, safe, and welcomed.  Isn't it funny that I never looked at it that way before? I just keep going day after day, but this shed a new light on my role as a wife and mother. I create harmony and a welcoming atmosphere. How cool is that?  It's time like these that I remember the old adage, "it's not work if you love what you do." And I do love what I do. I love going to the preschool sings, the awards ceremonies, the swim meets, the soccer games. I love taking my oldest out to get his ribbons after a Wednesday night meet and staying up late and eating desserts before we call it day. I love hanging out with my friends while our kids are having a playdate. I love being available in case something cool happens at school and I can be there to participate with my kids.  I love having time to make baby afghans for my friends' new babies, teaching baptism prep at our church, and being a preschool camp teacher for one week in the summer.  So while I'm a little sad to take more time off from working, I know that I love what I am currently doing and that God will provide another opportunity. I just have to wait and listen.

2014 is starting off on the right foot and I look forward to what it may bring. May it bring you laughter, fun, and blessings. Peace be with you as you begin the new year.

Psalms 13:6
I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

A Reminder

Little reminders

A few weeks ago, I was randomly thinking about if and how I make a difference in my children's lives. My husband thinks I do. I wanted to stay home to raise our kids and he fully supported my decision.  But there are days that go by and I wonder if I have made a difference. Do my kids know that I love them? Will they appreciate that I chose to stay home and raise them?  And hello, pity party, is there more to me than washing laundry, washing the dishes, putting things away, and making meals?  Have I lost myself in the process of the redundancy of being home to 3 smallish children?  I don't write as much as I would like, however, I make up for my lack of writing by running more often. Not that running as replaced my passion for writing, but the endorphin rush makes me a less frustrated mama.  And time. Seriously, where does the time go? I have so much I would like to accomplish and I'm hoping I'm accomplishing the most important thing...loving my husband and children and raising a family of responsible, kind, loving people who learn to help others, share the light of Jesus, and become independent adults.

I guess God knows when you need a little reminder that you do matter.  Mine came in the form of a letter a couple of weeks ago. I was in the midst of putting away laundry waiting for dinner to come out of the oven when we received a surprise knock on the door. It was one of our Flipper coaches who stopped by to give me a thank you letter for my help in looking over his college essays.  He could have easily sent me an email, a text, or a Facebook message. But instead he took the time to drive to my house and hand deliver it.  It wasn't long, nor did it need to be.  He had given me a little reminder that I make a difference. It came at a good time for me and I am grateful. I think it's very easy to get lost in the everyday tasks and to forget about one's dreams and aspirations while helping your children attain theirs.  I think it's very easy to get lost helping everyone else that you forget to help yourself or remind yourself that you make a difference.  

I really enjoyed looking over the college essays and writing my notes on the side. I enjoyed taking the time to get to know this coach a little better through his writing and to be once again be reminded that my children are surrounded by good people.  I didn't help him because I was looking for any kind of recognition and in reality I was hoping that I was indeed helping. It's been awhile since I've had to look over someone's writing and make suggestions and edits. I was afraid I was a little rusty and that it wouldn't be college worthy. But as he just received his first acceptance letter, I think, "Heck, well maybe I did a better job than I thought."  But as I turned in my last edits I continued with my everyday tasks of being carpooling, cooking, volunteering, and just being mama to my beautiful kids.

And then, then when I needed that reminder, it came. It's nice to know that I still make a difference and to be reminded to do everything I do with a cheerful heart. The reward is not in the recognition, but in doing something with a joyful heart.  

I decided the letter was a keeper and it sits on my bookshelf next to the thank you card that I received from my Flipper coaches this past summer.  Little reminders that somewhere along the line, I make a difference.  Mother Teresa reminds us to continue to good no matter the outcome. I love her quote "Do it Anyway."