Family

I know I have been busy and I haven't been posting, but I am shocked to realize that I did not post at all in December!  Life has been incredibly busy for us. Hubby has been working on a 6 month rotation in another office and has been coming home late each night. I've had to take care of homework, driving to activities, take kids to appointments, have our evening dinners without him, and take care of the bedtime rituals.  In some ways, I feel like a single parent during the week. The upside is that Hubby has truly enjoyed his rotation.  The kids and I miss him and we soak up every single minute with him during the weekends.

Recently, I was offered an incredible opportunity to do some consulting work from home. When I was first approached in October, I was very excited and it was very doable. However, it didn't pan out in October and my time was quickly filled with volunteer work.

October through January is an incredibly busy time for us. It kicks off with Buggy's birthday in October and then continues with hosting Thanksgiving (I think we hosted 42 people this year?!?), my mom's birthday, advent, baking cookies for the neighbors, shopping or making Christmas gifts, Christmas Eve at my SIL's house, hosting Christmas dinner this year (this time it was only 13), and then a string of visits with family and friends while the kids were on vacation.  We packed in a lot of activity between the end of October until today when the kids went back to school.  To top it all off, 4 out of the 5 of us were sick at any given time and Hubby was working until 9pm or so and coming home late. Needless to say, by the time the kids and Hubby started Christmas break we were all exhausted and the festivities were just beginning.  A lot of it I had to handle solo because of Hubby's schedule and it was really hard.

About three weeks ago, I was approached again by the same company to do some consulting work and I was ready to turn in my resume and write my blurb for their website.  But then we all got sick, Hubby was working late, and time kept running away from me and every night I went to bed frustrated by what did not get accomplished in the 24 hours given to me.  Sadly, I realized that I could not make it work.  It was not the right time for me to begin working again. The job opportunity was amazing and most of the work could be done from home and I could manage my own time and the company was family friendly. So why did I decline the offer? If the last few weeks were any indication of how my life was going, there was no way I could commit to any project at any time. As it stood, I had no time to sit down to even send out my resume and that was already done!  Hours were flying by and I was exhausted just trying to keep up.  I made the difficult decision to say, "Not at this time" and it was painful to do it.

However, I realized that right now I need to focus on my family.  There have been many days recently where I have had to play mother and father. While I was sad to step away from the job offer and bring in a little income for my family and keep up with current educational practices, I realized that now was not the time for me to focus on something new.  While I contemplated this and continued to mull it over, the homily for this past Sunday was on family.  I am a firm believer that God speaks to us in many ways and often will affirm decisions made. I have felt his gentle nudge and sometimes kick in the pants when having to make a specific decision.  When I was at church I heard His voice through the homily and realized that God was telling me to focus on my family right now.

Okay, God. I hear you. I will trust that another opportunity will come again at a better time.  You have not let me down yet, and I know that you are guiding my path. I will surrender to your will and wait. Thank you for the reminder that I am still needed wanted in the workforce, thank you for reminding me that right now my job is my family. I will listen and I will wait.

A friend shared with me that my job as a mother is mostly behind the scenes and so very important.  She said that I make home a welcoming place to be. It is warm and loving. It is a place where my husband is happy to be after a long day at work. It's a place where my children feel loved, safe, and welcomed.  Isn't it funny that I never looked at it that way before? I just keep going day after day, but this shed a new light on my role as a wife and mother. I create harmony and a welcoming atmosphere. How cool is that?  It's time like these that I remember the old adage, "it's not work if you love what you do." And I do love what I do. I love going to the preschool sings, the awards ceremonies, the swim meets, the soccer games. I love taking my oldest out to get his ribbons after a Wednesday night meet and staying up late and eating desserts before we call it day. I love hanging out with my friends while our kids are having a playdate. I love being available in case something cool happens at school and I can be there to participate with my kids.  I love having time to make baby afghans for my friends' new babies, teaching baptism prep at our church, and being a preschool camp teacher for one week in the summer.  So while I'm a little sad to take more time off from working, I know that I love what I am currently doing and that God will provide another opportunity. I just have to wait and listen.

2014 is starting off on the right foot and I look forward to what it may bring. May it bring you laughter, fun, and blessings. Peace be with you as you begin the new year.

Psalms 13:6
I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

GRRRRRR!

I have no other title for this post other than GRRRRRR!  I am so frustrated with my husband's boss. And maybe it's not such a good idea to vent it on a public blog, but here I go anyway!

She doesn't seem to understand personal space or time. Working for the government, my husband is able to work a flexible schedule. It didn't seem to be an issue with his last job, but where he is now, it does not seem as if his personal time is respected. Maybe I'm expecting too much.

Let me give you several examples:

A)  Family Leave. When I was pregnant with our last baby my husband was supposed to take time off.  He had set aside 6 weeks to be home full-time to give me a hand. I know that I shouldn't complain because it's a heck of a lot more time off than other folks get. But he had it and he was taking it. His boss asked within days of me giving birth if he could wrap up a couple things, which led to his boss asking if he really needed 6 weeks off.  She also conferred with other new fathers and asked them how much time they had taken off for family leave.  It ended up that he worked part-time for several long weeks. He made it work, he always does...but it was frustrating. He was hoping to be home for several weeks with our new baby and instead he got part-time work.

B) My husband is on a flex schedule with every other Friday off.  He wasn't scheduled to go in the office on Friday. Even though he was technically off he was told to be available for a conference call. We had already scheduled to do family portraits with his parents.  He called, left a message and said he wasn't available. His boss proceeded to call his cell, our home, and my cell phone looking for him.  I really draw the line at calling my cell phone. Really? Isn't that an emergency contact?  Was it an emergency that I needed to be contacted? Really?

C) Today I had a volunteer meeting scheduled for my son's summer camp. I was really looking forward to this meeting and it's been on my calendar for several weeks. This weekend Hubby says he's got to fly to NYC for a day trip and asked what days work best for our schedule. I said "Any day, but Tuesday. I have a meeting that I'd really like to attend for summer camp. Please any day but Tuesday."  Well guess what? It's Tuesday, and guess where he is?  Of course he said he'd be home in time. Guess what? He won't make it, which means I won't make it.  His boss felt that any other day just won't do and that it really needed to be done today.  GRRRRRRRRR!  (I did try to call a babysitter and my parents to watch the kids for an hour or so until he got home to pick them up.  No can do.)

Maybe I'm just a PITA complainer.  Maybe I don't realize how good I've really got it. Feel free to tell me to suck it up.  I'm just frustrated. I feel like I can't make plans and that his schedule isn't reliable. My husband does not work for private sector and I realize that many people do and are connected to their Blackberries 24-7. My husband does not have that job or a Blackberry to go with it.  He does have a professional job with regularly (supposedly) scheduled hours.

I just feel like my time is not respected and that I can't enjoy time with Hubby when he's supposed to be off because his boss calls all of the contact numbers looking for him on his day off. I also can't plan anything to do on my own because he can't be home on time (and no I don't mean a girl's night out, I mean time to attend meetings and be part of several volunteer organizations).

Okay, now that I've vented, I've e-mailed the coordinator for the Summer Camp and told her I can't make it tonight.  I'll put on the Big Girl Pants and suck it up. But this totally bites!