Welcome Baby Pumpkin, My New Niece!

Welcome Baby Pumpkin!

Almost two weeks ago, I welcomed a new niece. My sister-in-law emailed each of us and gave us the date of when she was scheduled to go into the hospital. She also invited each of her sisters and sisters-in-law to the hospital to watch as she delivered her newest daughter. I was so incredibly excited to be invited.  I have yet to see any of my nieces or nephews come into the world, but all of my other sisters-in-law have been invited to each other's deliveries and my sister-in-law L. was invited when I gave birth to Mr. Bananas. And again, she was incredibly helpful and was a good backup to my Hubby, who was also incredibly helpful.  So I was very excited to be invited to the birth of Baby Pumpkin.

I was afraid I would not make it in time. I had to wait for Hubby to come home from work and knowing L., she delivers quickly.  I thought for sure that she would deliver well before I arrived, but I was determined to go anyway.  I made it to the hospital and greeted three nieces (L's daughters) in the waiting room.  My sister-in-law MK gave me the update and I scarfed my dinner so I could check in with L.

Having seen no one in labor (besides myself) it was interesting to watch L. progress through her labor.  I could actually see each phase when she transitioned. Amazing.  By the time I walked in, L. had been laboring for about 4 hours. But, she probably did about 40 minutes of hard labor.  I watched as she was moved from her rocking chair to the bed. I saw her eldest daughter provide her comfort. They seem to have an unspoken bond and E. knew just how to provide her mom comfort during her labor. She rubbed her leg during each contraction. You could see L's husband know just when to move her from rocking chair to bed and provide her support.

My sister-in-law M.

L started to labor more intensely and B. told MK to get our other sister-in-law MJ from the waiting room where she was taking a turn watching the girls.  The way that L. started to labor I thought for sure we weren't far from delivery.

While I realize everyone labors differently, it was interesting to watch L. block out the unnecessary, draw into herself, and labor quietly, though intensely, through each contraction. So different from the way I labor. When I have a contraction, I prefer to push against my husband's hands. I think after each birth my arms and shoulders were ached terribly the next morning.  There's nothing silent about me. I grit my teeth and grimace. But L.?  She relies on an inner strength.  It is reflective of her daily self in a different and more intense situation. L. is one of the strongest people I know and I admire her greatly and I am so glad that I am able to call her my friend as well as my sister.

I love how you can practically feel her excitement.

At 8pm, the doctor came in to check her and kicked us all out of the room except for L's husband and her eldest daughter, the two people who were allowed in during delivery.  I was disappointed I wouldn't get to stay, but was very excited to still be included. M. and I headed out to the waiting room to entertain the three other daughters and wait.  L's two other sisters waited just outside the door to the room. At about 8:05pm B. came out and said L was only 5 cm. I thought that it would be longer than I thought, though I was sure she was close.  B. went back in to check with L. and I thought I would hang out with my nieces while we waited. I was also sure that someone would come get me if she started to deliver or that they would be kicked out of the delivery room and we would wait together...

However, that was not the case. As I said, L. delivers very quickly.  She went from 5cm to 10cm in about 10 minutes.  Her sisters and our sister-in-law was in the room along with L.'s husband and daughter.  One second she was sitting on the edge of the bed and in the next, her daughter was crowning.  She was placed back onto the bed immediately, M. was sent to find the doctor and the nurse delivered the baby. There was no time to pull apart the bed and the doctor missed the birth.  So did I.  I wasn't called in, and granted L. delivers very, very quickly. Everyone said it happened so fast and I believe them. Totally. But there is a part of me that was incredibly disappointed and my brother-in-law knew it right away.  He can read me so well. I'm still reflecting on my reaction on missing the birth of my niece and I will write about it in another post.

Mama in the middle of her 5 girls

I am happy that I was able to be a part of the birth by sitting with my nieces in the waiting room.  I was happy to be of service in that way.  One of the greatest things about being there at the birth was asking each girl their reaction at that moment and being to congratulate them on being a big sister and for my Goddaughter to being a big sister for the FIRST time!  It was very neat experience to be there shortly after the birth.  You could feel the excitement in the air as each of the big sisters held their littlest sister for the first time.  They hovered around their mother as if she were the flower and they were the bees.  L. was glowing and beautiful. They make a beautiful family of seven.

I am blessed and honored to have been part of this great event.  God bless you, Baby Pumpkin. We are so glad you are here. Your sisters love you and your presence has had a big wonderful impact on everyone's lives.

Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now...Labor & Delivery

I felt better prepared going to the hospital for the birth of number three.  I learned from the from the first two and I just ready to go when it was time.  From me to you (in case you need it) things that I've learned...

• Everyone (and I mean Everyone) is going to see everything.  There is no modesty in Labor and delivery.  What they show on all those baby shows with the mother being modestly covered, is only for the cameras. You might as well just roll with it.
• Pick a labor coach who is going to be a calming presence and a good support especially if things don't go as planned. I was lucky that my husband can read me like a book and knew when I needed him without me having to tell him.  My SIL is also good at reading people and was able to help me out as I transitioned through each phase of labor. She knew what I needed before I could identify it. Very helpful! She's also been through each of my other SILs labor and deliveries and she's delivered 4 beautiful daughters. She knew what was up.
• If you can, stand or walk as much as you can while you are laboring. It will make things move faster. Trust me. My SIL who coached me through this birth told me that's what we're doing next time. I think the final 45 minutes might have gone more smoothly if we had done this.
• If you plan on nursing in the hospital, wear a nursing bra during labor and delivery.  Your pretty bra that you're wearing isn't going to cut it for nursing a baby, especially if you do it within minutes of delivery.  There isn't a time/place/or possibility of changing bras right after so that you can nurse your baby.
• Go in with an idea of what you want your delivery to be and be prepared to throw it out at a moment's notice. Be flexible. You may not get the doctor you want, or maybe you'll have to go in a for cesarean when you were expecting to give birth vaginally.  Do what's best for you and the baby.  (Though I have not had to do a cesarean I did tell my labor coach to find a knife and cut the baby out of me the last 15 minutes of labor...that's another story for another time)
• If you need meds, ask for them. Don't wait for the nurse to ask if you want them.  At the hospital I went to, they didn't give it unless you asked for it.  Ask. And definitely ask for a dose before the ride home, otherwise you will feel every bump and pothole on the way home. I certainly did after my first birth. ugh!
• Ice it up "down there." If you can, ask them for an ice pack. It will help for the first 12-24 hours.
• Even though you should take it easy, walk a little bit and try to do some things independently in your room. Picking up the baby. Taking a shower. Walking to the bathroom. Do what you can within reason. I stayed off my feet way too much after the first birth and had a tough recovery. I probably did too much after the 2nd birth and could have done less. I think I'm finding a happy medium after this one. It also helps that my husband is able to stay home for a few weeks to help out.
• Breastfeeding hurts initially. You're learning, the baby is learning. Ask for the hospital's lactation consultant to see you.  It took me more than two weeks with my first kid before I asked for help. If I hadn't I would have turned to formula. But it was an easy fix and I nursed my son until he weaned himself a week before his first birthday.  I still had difficulty with number three. Remember, even though you may know what you are doing, the baby is still new at it.  Give yourself time to get used to it and ask for help.  I was fortunate that a friend, who is also a nurse, was able to help out over the phone, otherwise I'd be crying right now.
• Bring comfortable clothes to wear in the hospital or for the ride home. You probably aren't going to fit in your cute pre-pregnancy stuff just yet.
• NAP, NAP, NAP when you can. Easier said than done, especially when you have other children at home.  But if baby is napping, turn on PBS for the older kids and take a nap, too. I don't mind that my bed becomes a family bed at this time. At least I know where everyone is and honestly, you know that you've got that Mommy radar going and you can sense what's going on around you.
• Remember you are champ! Childbirth is hard.  Do not beat yourself up if it did not go the way you wanted. I started to beat myself up over this last delivery. The last 45 minutes was tough (my epidural came out by itself and my body was reacting...again, another story for another time).  My husband and SIL told me I was a champ during the final phase, but I couldn't see it.  But they were right...it didn't go as smoothly as I had hoped, but when the time came, I got the job done.  My reward is the sweet baby who's sitting next to me.
• Finally if anyone asks what you need, ask for a meal. You're not going to feel like cooking when you get home.  If you can get a few frozen meals in your freezer, you'll be good to go when you get home. It's one less thing to worry about while you're trying to juggle a new little life in your family.

Giving birth is one of the amazing experiences I have ever had.  Each one was different and unique. I love sharing "war stories" with other moms.   I hope my little list helps you. I wish I had known these things before I went in with baby #1. But now I know and can share my knowledge with you and now you know and knowing is half the battle...good luck :)

Heart Prints

My friend J. teaches Mommy and Me yoga classes for preschool kids and younger. At the end of each class, she gives the mamas time to relax while she reads a story or does a short activity with the kids. One of the things she shared was a book about how kids can share their love with others through "heart prints." This concept has taken root in my house and Boogie loves when I tell him that something he has done has left a heart print.

Being that we just celebrated Valentine's Day this week, it seems only appropriate to share the heart prints that surrounded our new son's birth.

Yes, our son finally arrived! My water broke at 9:35pm on Saturday night (February 12th).  I had spent the morning with Bug helping to clean our church. At one point I was straightening the hymnals in the pews when Bug leaned into my belly and said, "Baby J. Come out. I want to meet you."  I was feeling the same way. I took it easy the rest of the day. That night I finally resigned myself that I would probably have to be induced on Wednesday. I was not looking forward to going to church the next day and see the shaking heads as I waddled into Mass.  Nonetheless I was resigned that's what would happen.  Around 9:30 pm Hubby and I settled into what had become our evening routine of watching an episode of The Wire on Netflix. Not even 10 minutes into the episode did I sit up suddenly and say, "Oh!" I jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Fortunately I made it in time and realized that my water had broken. I had been having contractions an hour before, but nothing consistent. The time ranged from 2 minutes to 17 minutes between contractions. We had been timing contractions for at least a week, so after an hour of sporadic contractions I had counted it as a "whatever." At the time my water broke, I wasn't having any contractions.  I had Hubby call the advice nurse while I took a shower. I also called my mom to have her come over to stay with the kids.  Fortunately, it was not too late to call my friend A. and ask her to come over to spend the night so that my mom could go with us to the hospital to see the birth of her 3rd grandchild.

Here are the Heart prints that surrounded the time of baby #3's birth.

• My BFF A. called earlier in the evening to check on me. During this time I asked if she was willing to watch my two older kids so that my mom could join us at the hospital to watch the birth. She agreed. I just didn't think I would be calling her back 3 hours later to come over.  So A. came over and stayed the night with the kids
• My SIL L. came to join me in labor and delivery. She has been to at least one birth for every sister/sister-in-law except for mine. I knew that I would want here there because of her calming presence.  We called her and she came over to join us. She didn't get much more than an hour catnap during my labor, but she was incredible the whole time.  I'm pretty sure I bruised her hand when I squeezed it during labor. She never complained and walked me through everything.
• My husband was incredible through the whole thing. Even though I had everything my bag packed and the kids' bag packed in case they went to someone else's house, he made sure everything was in order. Throughout the labor he was there 110%. It got to the point where I didn't have to say anything and he was by my side to help me breathe through my contractions.
• My friend K. had been calling and checking in on me throughout the week. She was the one who was going to take me to the hospital if my water broke during the day and Hubby was still at work.
• My parents came to watch the birth of their 3rd grandchild.
• While A. spent Sunday morning with the kids she wrote and illustrated books with them so that they could share it with their new brother when they came to the hospital.  She also called my parents to tell them to rest and not to rush to pick up the kids after they came home from the hospital. Not only that, when Hubby came home to relieve her after the birth, she told him to go upstairs to get a nap and shower and that she was fine watching the kids for longer.
• My in-laws came to visit and kept me company while Hubby was home getting the kids settled at my parents house.
• My BIL and my SIL came to visit the next day to meet their newest nephew.
• Lots of love and encouragement via Facebook after I announced J.'s birth.
• My kids lovin' on their baby brother when they came to visit him.
• When I came home I found that Hubby had vacuumed and dusted our bedroom. Everything was put away. He changed the sheets and put together the cosleeper. Our room looked phenomenal and ready for our newest arrival.  

There is so much more, but this is the start. I feel so blessed by the love that surrounded this birth.  I was so antsy by the end and couldn't wait to give birth. I received a lot of encouragement prior to my labor, during my labor, and warm wishes when #3 made his arrival.

Baby #3 came in at a whopping 9lbs. 1oz. I was not prepared for this size. When the OB came to check me the first time during my labor she did warn me that he would be bigger than my other two who were 7 lbs. 5 oz and 7 lbs. 7 oz. I was thinking somewhere in the high 7s up to mid-8s, definitely not 9lbs!  We affectionately call him Bam Bam or the mini-freezer.  He is well loved by his siblings.  I am happy to be home with my family and to settle into being a family of five.

Headed to the hospital. No contractions yet!

Proud parents with our BIG Boy!

Feeling sweet relief that our son finally arrived. So happy!

Personalities

The other day at my TREC class our instructor mentioned that the 4th of July was her son's birthday. Someone joked that he came in with a bang, and she he said, he literally did. Her labor with him was very short and he came into the world just as the fireworks started going off.  Of course this conversation led to the other women describing their labor and their children.  Our instructor also said that with her 2nd born, they were concerned that she would come very quickly and since she lived more than an hour and a half away from the hospital they decided to schedule an inducement.  She said that it took forever for that baby to come and she feels like she forced her daughter to come into the world when she wasn't ready and she is forever forcing her to do things, whereas her son is ready to try something new before she (the mother) is ready.  Another woman mentioned that with her middle daughter they induced her labor and even with being induced, her daughter didn't come and they had to send her home and try all over again later.  She said that her daughter always drags her feet and comes "kickin' and screamin'" when they need her to do something.

I find all of this fascinating. I have heard mothers joke that their children's personalities are exactly the way they came out of the womb.  Who knows if there is any truth behind it, but I still find it interesting. Did I ever mention that I was a Human Development major in college?

I thought about my own kids. With my son, my water broke and then I never labored on my own. After a lot of Pitocin and 27 1/2 hours later my son decided to grace us with his presence. Of course by this time there was some concern and they had to call NICU to make sure he was fine.  As always he was fine. In some ways his life is like his birth. Whenever he gets sick, it's intense in the beginning, but then it  always turns out just fine.

With my daughter she was an easy, easy, delivery.  I labored for easily for 9 hours and hard for another 9. But her delivery was so easy. Three pushes and she was out. It was so easy that as the nurses were cleaning her off, I looked at my husband and said, "I could do that again."  She has definitely been my easy baby. She slept through the night within three months and she is forever my mommy's helper.

I still think they are a little too young to see their "birthing" personality shine through. But as I said, I find this interesting. Anybody out there think that their children exhibit their "birthing" personality? If so, I'd love to hear about it!