Catching Up

My Bed Bugs

Yikes! It's been so long since I posted. We are busy over here. Playing mommy and daddy while Hubby is away is exhausting. We have gotten into a nice routine with our new schedules, but the kids are having a horrible time sleeping while Hubby is away. Often I will find at least one big, sometimes two big kids in my bed by the time I am able to head up the stairs.  They are getting so tall, that it takes quite a bit of effort and juggling to get them into their own beds. It's a good thing I added strength training to my routine at the gym ;)

Showing off his outfit from his Godparents

I think Mr. Bananas is going through what Buggy calls a "gross spurk" (growth spurt!).  He is waking up within an hour of going to bed at night and he's up for at least another hour.  However, he's taking 4 hour naps during the day and is all stumbly bumbly when he is awake. It's like his limbs are learning how to coordinate. He's a happy stumbly bumbly, but very stumbly nonetheless.  He is LOVING his gymnastics class. He giggles and squeals with joy, especially as he runs/jumps down the long trampoline. I think it's called a sprinting track.  I'm having a great time in the class with him.

Hiking

Buggy is also enjoying her gymnastics class. I'm so happy that I was able to get Buggy and Bananas into the same time slot for their classes. It makes things so much easier on our time and travel.  Buggy is loving preschool and her teachers. I am also realizing how she is very organized. She knows when she has show and tell and will have already put something in her bag. When I ask her the night before class, she says, "Oh, Mommy. I already put it in my bag!"  She is also going around the house and putting things into their rightful place. My once tornado is now becoming my calm. I think God knew I needed her in my life and blessed me immensely with her compassion, organization, and help.

Checking out the horizon 

Boogie is doing well in school and we just received word that he is reading on a 2nd grade level. Awesome!  We continue to read every night before bed, he stills loves listening to audio books, and he is more interested in reading on his own. I'm a little concerned that I haven't seen any math, writing,  social studies, or science homework come through the door. We were very spoiled last year and Boogie practiced a lot of skills for homework. This year the emphasis is on reading. On one hand, I am grateful that homework is simple and easy to do. Read. He does that daily.  On the other hand, I'm concerned that he isn't practicing enough of the other subjects especially writing and math.  I think I will supplement at home to strengthen his writing and math skills. I'm not so worried about Science and Social Studies, because that is easily integrated with reading.  He started soccer last week and he still looks like he doesn't know what's going on, but the physical activity is so good for him.  The practices are longer that what we used to have through our church league, so I'm still getting used to it.  I'm also learning to coordinate dinner better so that the kids have dinner before soccer practice and then Boogie gets a snack after practice. Last Wednesday all three kids went to bed no problem and everyone slept through the night!

Spending some quality time with Hubby while he's home.

Me? I'm doing alright.  I miss my husband terribly.  I am so grateful for technology and that we can Face Time most nights for bed time prayers with the kids.  He also calls each morning before the kids head to school and so they start their morning speaking to him. It has made his travel a little easier on all of us. He has also been able to come home on the weekends, but the time home is short and we try to soak up as much time with him as possible.  While he's been gone, I've been running myself into exhaustion trying to keep busy. It's been helpful that I have a race next month. It's given me a goal and something to focus on while I wait for him to come home from his travels.  But keeping busy is a bit numbing, which can be good or bad depending on the circumstances.  But I'm hanging on and I'm grateful that I just received a text that he is heading home once again! Even if it's for just a few hours, I'll take it!

Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually (1 Chronicles 16:11)

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13)

Hanging On

Hats off to all of the single parents out there. I only have to do it temporarily and only every few months. However, when I do it, I am exhausted!  Most nights after the kids are in bed, I find myself face down on my bed trying to find the willpower to get up from my 2 minute "let's sit down and rest" so I can finish putting away the dinner dishes, feed the cats, lock up the house, prepare everything for the activities for the next day, and pop up in a moment's notice when one of my doodlebugs startles in the middle of the night and needs me. There doesn't seem to be a down time.

Hubby is working on a big project that will take him in and out of town over the next few months. The thing with his job is sometimes he doesn't know when he's headed out and I'll find out a few days ahead of time with an, "Oh, Babe, I gotta travel in a few days and it will be for x amount of time."  We did really well last February. We knew it was happening, we knew he'd be gone for a while, and I used all my "waiting" time to prep myself mentally and emotionally.  With the help of technology and lots of "Face Time" thanks to last year's anniversary presents of iphones for each of us, the kids and I were able to see Hubby often enough to make things easier.

This time around has been a little tougher. I think that the timing isn't the greatest (but when is it ever great?). The beginning of the school year, the beginning of new extracurriculars, and new schedules have made this season's traveling a bit harder. We weren't set in our school routine when Hubby had to start traveling, so Boogie has been taking it especially hard. My heart broke a little when I overheard him tell Hubby, "I tried to fall asleep in your bed when Mommy was downstairs. I even tried to sleep on your side of the bed, but it didn't help. I still missed you a lot, so I went back to my own bed."  The little kids seems to be doing okay with it. Buggy knows that this is just the way it goes and keeps telling Daddy to "have a good time and I miss you!" and Mr. Bananas goes with the flow because he doesn't know any better. But, man, my Boogie Monster is having a rough time.  He's super bouncy. He's antagonizing his sister more than usual and having a harder time following directions.

Me? I'm more exhausted than ever. I'm keeping busy by training for next month's running festival.  Running let's me forget how tough it can be sometimes.  I think I'm also trying to run myself into exhaustion so that I'll sleep better at night, but that's not working. Not getting enough sleep coupled with intense work outs are leaving me drained and a little cranky. Not a good combo.

But day by day and week by week we'll get by. We're settling into school routines and by the end of the week each of the kids will be scheduled into their extracurriculars. Buggy and Bananas are taking gymnastics this Fall and Boogie is signed up for soccer. Gymnastics started last week and soccer will begin this Saturday. I think regular classes/practices will keep us busy and we'll settle into an overall life routine for the school year.

I'm very grateful for the offers of help from various friends. However, I think my strategy will be to hold on tight and keep on runnin'. Oh, and prayers for patience. Lots and lots of patience!

And just as it says in Proverbs 31, her husband has confidence in her (I just wish I had a little more in myself)...she works with eager hands (well mostly eager)... she gets up while it's still night (did I actually ever fall asleep???)...she sets about her work vigorously (keeping busy is my motto)...her arms are strong for the task (and for lots of hugs for my sweet kids who need a little more TLC)...

Here's to praying for a little less discombobulation and a little more strength and patience.

Our early bird squeezed in one more snuggle and one more story before Daddy left for his business trip

Evening up the Score

The day after Hubby left for his trip was rough. The day he left, it was fine. But by 6am the next morning, I felt that I was waaaaaaaay behind.  Bug had woken up around 3am with a wet pull-up that had leaked. Fortunately, if she ever wakes up wet, she automatically changes her pull-up and goes straight back to bed. But if she's leaked, she lets us know and one of us gets up to change her sheets.  At 3am, I was too tired to do it and had her crawl into bed with me after she changed.

I sleep very lightly when Hubby travels, so all 5 times my son woke up to use the bathroom, I also woke up to listen for him and to make sure he made it back to bed alright.  By 5am, Mr. Bananas woke up and I nursed him. By 6am, I put him back in his crib, left Buggy in my bed, and got up to start my day. By this time, I was completely done.  I felt like I dragged all day. It felt like "kids 2, mama 0."

 However, the day was made immensely easier when my mother showed up unexpectedly to pick up Boogie from school. This allowed for the little kids to nap longer and because of her help, they were able to get an extra hour of sleep they so desperately needed. Not only that, Mom took Boogie home with her and offered to take Mr. Bananas while I took Buggy to dance class.  I dropped him off on the way to class and for the first time all day, I felt that I was able to relax and breathe. Bug danced and I crocheted. It was peaceful...except for when she fell and bit her lip hard and bled all over herself. But even then, I was thankful that Mom had the boys and that I could pay attention to Bug when she needed it. She was able to go back to class and finish up.

Mom and Dad met me at my house. They brought over dinner, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.  As awful as the morning started, it ended on a high note. 

That night was better. Boogie got up only once. Bug woke up once, changed her pull-up and went straight back to bed, and Bananas woke up once around 5am to be nursed. All in all, better. Not great, but better.

Thursday night was wonderful! All 3 kids slept through the night and got up at 7:15am. I felt like a new woman on Friday.  It also helped that Boogs had his Spanish class and the little kids were able to nap an extra hour before we picked him up.  We went out to dinner with my parents and then the big kids went home with them for a sleepover. Bananas and I came home and he went to bed immediately. He did not sleep as well as he had the night before, but I noticed that he's getting his molars in, so that could be it.

We are still missing Daddy a lot but with my parents help, it's been easier than I had expected.  It also helps that technology has come a long way since I was a kid and my dad went out to sea.  The kids get to see Daddy through Face Time, and he's sent us videos of him singing the good night song, and our good morning song. The kids love seeing him.  When he called yesterday afternoon, Bug jumped up and down and yelled, "DADDY!!!!!  Face time! Woo hoo! Face Time, Woo hoo!!!!!"  If that isn't a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is!

The big kids are spending the morning with my parents. They're supposed to go out for a movie and lunch and come back for naps.  I've been able to relax a little, plan out the day, blog, and eat breakfast.  It's been nice. I look forward to seeing them this afternoon. I no longer feel it's "kids 2, Mama 0." I think we might have evened up the score with Lolo and Lola's help. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

I Miss Daddy

Hubby left this morning for his 2-3 week out of town project.  He's been working so hard the last few months. He's been on a lot of business trips and has had to work late nights, especially the last few weeks.  As a result he has not seen the kids as much as he would like to see them.  It's been hard on me and the kids, too.

We spent this past weekend spending as much family time as we could in a 72-hour time span. Fortunately, Hubby was able to spend some time with the kiddos this morning before he left.  They enjoyed seeing him.  When Buggy woke up, she walked in my room where I was folding laundry and asked, "Where's Daddy?"  I told her he was downstairs and she flew out of the room, yelling, "Daddy!" Hubby was already half way up the stairs when they met. I wish I had my camera because the next scene was adorable. Hubby was a few steps down from Bug and she leaned in to give him a hug. They were eye-to-eye and in that hug so much was said. I could see Hubby close his eyes as he held his little girl and it was if he was savoring this moment and Buggy was holding on as tight as she could as if to say, "I'm safe and I don't want you to go."

Hubby helped with breakfast and getting the kids to change their clothes for the morning.  We finished our usual routines really early and we had a few extra minutes to pray over Daddy.  We prayed, we sang, we got one more kiss and hug.

Buggy with her lovies

When Daddy's car pulled away, Boogs collapsed onto the grass and Buggy fell apart. She was trying to put on mittens, but they didn't go on the way she wanted and she lost it and begged for her blanket.  As I put the baby in the stroller for our walk to school, Bugs went upstairs to grab her lovies.  She came back with a blanket and two stuffed animals. She would have grabbed more, but this is all her little arms could carry. She asked to bring them on our walk and she sat in the stroller all the way to school and on the way back.  Before Boogie went into his school, he gave each of us a kiss. He usually fusses about having to give his sister a kiss, but I think he knew how much it would mean to her and I think he needed it, too. We all need to feel a little more connected to one another as we figure out how to function as a family of four for a few weeks.

At one point, Bug looked at me and said, "I miss Daddy. I wish he didn't have to go to work." Me, too, Baby. Me, too.

I read the following verse during my quiet time this morning:
Psalm 18:2 
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.


It came at the right time.  I'm missing my husband.  Please forgive me if I don't answer phone calls, e-mails, or messages. I'm doing all that I can to keep things humming along and I have so much that I'm doing that I just.can't.do.one.more.thing. I'd like to think I was stronger, but I'm not. It takes all my energy to make sure that things continue to go smoothly while Hubby is away, to the point of exhaustion.

If you think of it, please say a prayer for me that I may have patience, grace, and energy when I interact with my children. They're hurting right now as they miss their daddy.  Please pray for my children and for my husband that he may have safe travels and comes home to us safely. Thank you.

Made It Another Week

Big Kids Playing Well Together

Last week Hubby was away all week (weekends included) for a business trip. This was trip #4 out of 5 from September until the end of the year. Next week is number 5 :(

However, this past week wasn't too bad. I still don't sleep very well when he travels, but the kids were fantastic while he was gone.  It's like a switch was flipped and the kids found out that playing together was a lot of fun.  The big kids spent a lot of time playing together and doing it well.  It made Hubby's time away so much easier on me.

During the time he was away Mr. Bananas learned to crawl and crawl well. He also learned to pull himself up and stand. He gets such a kick out of it.  He looks at me for affirmation. I cheer and applaud and the starts waving one hand in the air to cheer with me. He also slaps both hands on whatever he has used to haul himself up.  He's so proud of himself. It's sad that Hubby has to miss these milestones, but I try to send pictures.

My parents were a big help by coming over twice last week to help with bedtimes.  My aunt and uncle also came over to give me a hand with the house. When Hubby is away I just don't have time to clean up the house. I'm so busy trying to do everything else, I don't have time to keep up with the housework.

Getting Along

I survived his week away and I dread next week. But I know I can do it and I look forward to him being in town before Christmas. And I will enjoy his time home before he heads out in February for a 2-3 week business trip.

Dinner Conversation and Entertainment

Hubby is gone for another week long business trip. He left Sunday night and he'll be back Saturday night (ugh!).  It's been over 2 years since he's been gone for so long on one business trip.  He actually has another one sometime next month and then in February he'll be gone 2-3 weeks. Yikes!

When he's away I try to find my own routines. I get dinner on the table earlier and get the kids to bed much earlier.  Last night my parents came over to give me a hand. They spent time with the big kids playing games before giving them their bath. While my mom bathed the big kids, my dad spent some one-on-one time with Mr. Bananas. I cleaned the house.

By 8 o'clock last night all 3 kids were in bed and my parents had left.  I finally sat down for my dinner. When it's just me, I find it easier to feed the 3 kids and then eat dinner by myself after they are in bed. While the big kids eat, I feed the baby.  So at 8:30pm I had reheated a bowl of soup and decided to watch the Sing-Off while eating my dinner. Wouldn't you know that not 2 minutes into my solo dinner, my daughter came downstairs?

DM:  Buggy what are you doing down here?
B:  You know what I'm doing.
DM: I do?
B: Yes. I'm watching tv with you.
DM: You are?
Buggy sees that I'm watching the Sing-Off: Oh, and I'm dancing.

While the contestants are singing, she gets off the couch and starts dancing.  When they finish and the audience is applauding, my darling daughter starts bowing repeatedly and saying, "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you" Humble, isn't she? (Ms. C, I think she is a natural performer! It's a good thing I have her taking dance classes at your studio!)

At the next commercial I start to carry her upstairs. I'm almost to the top of the stairs when I see that the gate is in place and locked. Um????
DM:  Bug, how did you get downstairs? The gate is locked?
B:  I'm little. I'm 3, but I'm still little. I'm still little and I fit! I'm 3, I'm little, and I fit! (The whole time she is giggling).

The little stinker crawled underneath the gate and walked downstairs.

I finally got her back in bed.  It's never a dull moment with my little performer...

Made it!

This past week and weekend have been a whirlwind of activity. With Hubby being away I tried to keep busy and productive. I was definitely busy, but maybe to productive unless you count investing my time and energy into cultivating friendships, then, yes, very productive!  While Hubby was away I took the kids to several playdates with new friends, family that I am blessed to call friend, and one of my nearest and dearest friends.

I will admit that I was a walking zombie by the end of the week. I almost never napped (though I really should have!) and I fell asleep past midnight every night and awoke early with the kids and woke up several times in between to tend to the baby.

I finally found a pair of "big girl pants" that fit and didn't call my husband in a fit of tears while he was away. Not once! Hurrah for being a big girl.  He noticed and even commented that he missed me. He's never done that. Probably because I'm usually on the other end of the phone crying from the lack of sleep.  He heard my weary, yet cheerful voice each night and I think it made him miss me :)

My poor husband finally rolled in around 5am on Saturday morning exhausted and a little grumpy. He missed his original flight and his next flight was delayed and arrived in a completely different airport so he had to take a cab to the other airport where he left his car, before finally arriving home to us.

But he made it and so did I. While I'm not looking forward to future business trips, at least I know that I can survive a week without him. Hurrah to having him home for a while before his next business trip.

Rainbows

I've mentioned many times about my husband business travels and how hard they are on all of us.  I'm blessed that he does not have to travel frequently and I'm blessed that I have enough family and friends around to give us a hand or to provide a day of distraction for us.  It's still hard, but I really need to put on my big girl pants and get beyond that.

The other day I noticed a rainbow on our drive.  It was beautiful and this picture I took with my cell phone certainly does not do it justice.

I started thinking about rainbows and how they are created with a little rain and a little sunshine.  I thought about my husband traveling and the kids and I doing things together without an important member of our family unit.  I thought about how that was the rain in our week and I thought about the little bits of sunshine that we had that made rainbows during our weeks.

Rainbows:
**Boogie finally nighttime dry. Awesome!
**The kids taking Hubby's travel in stride and doing well.
**Boogie being extra helpful
**Spending Mother's Day with my parents and my children
**Boogie comforting me and telling me that it's hard when Daddy's gone, and giving me hugs.
**Having a friend willing to come down with her girls and spend the day with us even though she is incredibly busy.
**Having lunch with a good friend and spending time with her before she moves to Australia.
**My parents graciously taking my kids the night before the 5-miler and taking them to my son's t-ball game.
**My parents having us over for dinner
**Running an awesome race and having a friend cheer me on.
**Watching my son's last preschool sing for the school year.
**Having great teachers who have taught my son well.
**Catching up with a friend on the phone because I had some extra time
**Extra time I got to spend with my kids

Boy, am one lucky gal. I had a lot of sunshine last week and was able to find many rainbows. Now I'm enjoying the time with my husband before he goes on another business trip in the near future. But at least now I know that I can do it. Now time for me to try on those big girl pants and make sure they fit before my husband's next business travel...

So What's the Message for You?

Last week, my BFF broke her arm and her hand.  She did it on a day that she was going to come down and give me a hand when my husband was out of town.  She was trying so hard to make everything perfect for me, that I think it backfired. This woman is amazing. She really is a Super Hero.

When we got a chance to catch up and determine her prognosis, I told her that this might be Someone's way of telling her to slow down.  She does so much for her own family and others, that maybe in this weird way, this broken arm/hand is going to force her to slow down. I was so happy to hear that people are reciprocating all of her good deeds by taking care of her:  bringing her dinner, watching the kids, driving the kids, helping her around the house.

I know that she was bummed that she couldn't help me when I needed it.  As always she was looking out for me. When I told her that that this was Someone's way of telling her to slow down she asked me: "So what's the message for you?"

Huh...so what was my message since she couldn't come down? Well number 1, one of the messages is that I should take better care of her. Unfortunately, I won't be able to do that for a couple of weeks :(  Number 2, maybe the message for me is that I can survive a week with my husband being gone. That I might actually be able to do things on my own. And maybe, I should give myself a little more credit about what I am capable of doing solo.

Having my husband gone on a business trip is not the easiest thing...but is it really the hardest thing?  As we contemplate trying for baby #3, I gotta tell ya, the idea of being home alone with a preschooler, a toddler, and an infant is daunting.  It's not like I can tell Hubby not to go to work, or to not travel. His job is the reason that  I am able to stay home with my children. I can't really bust his chops about doing something that provides so much for us. It's not like he likes being away from the family.  It is what it is. So this week, I learned that yes, it is hard to have my husband go away while I'm home to take care of the kids and the home solo. But it is not impossible.

The kids were pretty awesome while Hubby was away. Boogie was very helpful, and Buggy kept us laughing.  I found inner strength to do what I thought I couldn't do solo. But, boy, and am I glad that he's home with us again!

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

Threshold Thursday

By Thursday I had hit my threshold for my DH (dear hubby) being away on business. We are rarely apart and his traveling the last few weeks has disrupted our routine. Though I must say the kids have done much better this time around. Overall, we're all doing much better. But if you had seen me yesterday morning, you would not have thought so.


First thing, since I had gotten to bed late on Wednesday night, I got up late Thursday morning. I hate when I do this because I feel like that I start the day already behind with little chance of catching up.  Within two hours of getting up, I had to get ready, get the kids ready, make sure that I put the paperwork for the teacher in my purse, remember to bring the flowers as a thank you for the teachers, remember the camera so that I can video Boogie's May sing, try to get out of the house on time so that I was on time for Buggy's check up at the doctor's office.  Of course it's when I'm stressed and trying to get out the door that Boogie tends to dawdle. My patience quickly dissipates and my voice gets louder and sterner. I finally busted into tears on the stairs next to the door realizing that we would be late and my day was unraveling before me and we hadn't even made it out the door.  


It was at this time that my son sat down next to me and asked me why I was crying. He then patted my back, kissed my cheek, and said, "It's hard when Daddy's not home."  How true, how true.  


I pulled myself together, sucked it up, and out the door we went. I think I just needed to vent all the stress that has been building up with DH being gone.  Once I did, I was able to move forward.  I did and so did the kids. We made it just a few minutes late to school. We made it to Buggy's appointment on time.  I made it back to school on time for the Sing and I was able to record it.  We went home and skipped the gym afterwards. I focused on only getting the laundry done and made it the only thing on my to-do list while the kids played and napped. We made it to t-ball practice last night with minimal distractions.  Once we got home the kids went straight to bed and I was able to take a deep breath.


For such a stressful morning, the rest of the day was pretty peaceful. I let go of all of the other "to dos" on my list. I got the one thing done that I wanted to do and felt successful. We had a great night.  


I still can't wait for Hubby to get home tomorrow morning, but I feel like I'm finally over the hump and we'll make it :)

Here We Go Again!

Hubby left yesterday afternoon for another business trip. Yup, he left on Mother's Day for a week long business trip.  He did his best to make Mother's Day Special for me. It was a wonderful Mother's Day. I got to sleep in, eat a delicious breakfast, take a nap, relax, enjoy lunch and dessert out. He worked with the kids to decorate Mother's Day cards. He was wonderful and I know that he hated to leave for a business trip. He left at 3:30pm and then we were on our own.  Triple whammy:  he left on Mother's Day, it's for a week and I think my threshold for him being gone is only for 4 days, and he is taking the red-eye back next Saturday in the hopes of making it on time to our son's t-ball game (though despite his best efforts, it looks doubtful) while I run my race.  Fortunately my parents will be able to take both kids on Saturday to the game and I'll meet up with them after the race.

As always before any business trip he works late the week before to prep for the trip. He's got a lot of documents to write, things that to be reviewed and signed, not to mention to prep the questions and to go over the background information that he needs for the sworn statements he has to take.  It's crazy busy, it throw us for a loop that he's not home for dinner most nights before his trip. The kids go a little nutty especially Boogie who adores Daddy.  The week that Hubby is gone gets nuttier because I overdo it and try to keep busy so as to not think about him being gone and then I've worn myself out to the point of exhaustion. The kids can feel my stress and they react to it.

My goal this time around is to keep it simple. Stick to our routines, set up a few play dates, and for me to go to bed earlier!  My mantra will be to keep my head and to not sweat the small stuff and to not create big stuff to sweat! :)

Starting to de-stress

I was so grumpy all week. A lot of things were on my mind a lot of it being how to organize the next 3 weeks with one of them having my husband gone on business. I was also stressing about how I was going to juggle running a local 5-mile race in 3 weeks and yet get my son to his t-ball game and have someone watch my daughter. Before it was going to be me running the race and my husband taking the kids to the t-ball game. I was sad I would miss my son's last game, but happy that my husband would be able to do it.

 Unfortunately, we just found out that he would be out of town and might possibly get in during the wee hours of Saturday morning.  Not the greatest because he would be tired from all of his traveling and then having to juggle the kids.  Now we found out that in order to be home for the game, he would have to take the red eye back and not get back until around 7am, and by the time he got home, the t-ball game would have already started, which still leaves us with the dilemma of what to do with the kids: pull out of the race? Run the race and have someone babysit the kids and miss the t-ball game? Call on friends or family to take both kids to the t-ball game?  All of the options have been running through my head. None are ideal and I absolutely loathe calling friends or family for favors because I hate putting people on the spot.  I always try to handle it on my own if possible.

Fortunately my husband does not have this problem.  He explained the dilemma to my parents last night and asked my mom to watch the kids and I held my breath. My dad was listening and offered not to run the race with me and offered to help my mom instead. Sigh of relief. This will work out.  I hate asking my parents to watch the kids, because I never want to seem like I'm taking them for granted. I really try to space out when asking them to watch the kids and have started calling a babysitter more often to watch the kids when we go out (though I only ask my parents to help out about once a month, apparently that's too often).   My parents have admitted that watching both kids is very tiring and hard for both of them. They love the kids, but my son is super active and my daughter calls everyone Mommy, making my mom think that my daughter is constantly calling for me (which she isn't). This causes them to become very tired. I should also clarify that both my parents work full-time and my father plays drums in a band. Both are in their 50's. They're tired.

It's amazing that having this one very stressful dilemma solved has made me less grumpy. I think my grumpiness is a side affect of my anxiety.  It's usually the reason.  I'm still concerned about the next 3 weeks because it will just be crazy busy for us, but I feel like I will be able to get things done.  Big thank you to my BFF, Jessica, who knows of stress and is bringing her girls over for a play date with my kids next month so that I can get a few things done.  I am so grateful!  Let the good times roll!

The Curse of Having a Helpful Husband

It must be Spring or the beginning of warmer weather. I know this, not because the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and we are playing outside, but because my husband has to work late and is going on travel (soon) for work.

It stinks...sucksola!  I hate it.  I get stressed and anxious about  his travels weeks before he actually leaves. It makes me edgy and moody. Mostly I worry about him flying.  I hate when he flies by himself. I would rather be flying with him. Not because I like flying because (here's a morbid thought), he goes, I go.  That's right, if something were to happen, we would be together.  There you go, welcome to my neurosis.

While my husband usually works 40-50 hours a week (including commuting time it can be up to 60-70 hours a week), he is truly helpful around the house.  As soon as he walks in the door he's in Dad/Husband mode. No rest for the weary. He plays with the kids while I finish putting dinner on the table. He's getting them ready for bed while I clean up after dinner. I think I mentally, emotionally, and physically relax because he's home.  I don't have to be "on" for the kids. I can take a break.

We work so well together. It's nice having a partner helping you with everything. Someone you don't have to explain what goes where or how the children do x, y, and z.  We're a team and we work in tandem.  When he's gone, I'm solo. Not only do I do my "jobs" around the house, I do his, too.  It's the daily chores, I'm talking about...getting the kids ready for bed, loading and unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, making sure the house is secure for the night, feeding the cats and scooping the litter.  It's those things that make my day easier. They're daily chores that get done and I don't have to think about them.

To add to that I think my mommy radar works in overtime. I don't sleep as well because I'm subconsciously listening for my children and any possible invaders. I know,  I know, invaders? Highly unlikely, but in my neurotic world anything can happen.  Who knows, maybe I should sleep with a bat time and say "It's go time" if I hear somebody in my house (bonus points to anyone who can identify that scene from a current television show).

Having him gone for several days is really the curse of having a helpful husband. I realize just how much he really does for the family.  On top of all of his helpfulness, he is my best friend. The one person who knows me completely, inside and out. At the end of the day he knows just what to say to make me feel like I'm a good mother and wife.  Missing his companionship just makes him going away that much harder.

Spa Weekend Getaway

So here it is, my first spa get away weekend. My very first time to go on a mini-vacation without the kids or my hubby and what do I do? I wake up at my normal time of around 6:30am. I tried to keep sleeping and made it to 7:07am. I spoke with my husband last night and he said he would laugh at me if I went to be before 10:30pm. As he put it I would be able to sleep in so why not stay up late. I thought, yeah, you're right. I finished my almost 4-yr. old son's baby book and read until midnight...and I woke up early. Huh.....I know that if I was at home, I would still be sleeping. I don't sleep as well without my hubby.

 Last summer my hubby went to Chicago on business for 6 weeks. While the kids and I joined him after the first 3 weeks, the 3 weeks without him were tough on me. At the time my son had just turned 3 and my daughter was 8 1/2 months old.  I missed my husband like crazy and trying to take care of the needs of two little ones on my own was hard. I think I psyched myself out thinking that I could not do it alone.  My husband and I really are a team and the child-rearing is a team effort in my house.  My kids are great, but I love that my husband takes over after he gets home from work and plays with the kids. He gives me a few minutes to veg out on my own before we say nighttime prayers and he puts the kids to bed.  So not having him for 3 weeks was like missing half of me.

Soon after the Chicago trip my husband suggested that I go away for a spa weekend with a friend. This was said over the summer and it's February and I've finally done it.  At the time of the suggestion I was still nursing my daughter. So I set the date to be sometime after she weaned. When I was telling one of my best friends about Will's suggestion (fully intending for her to go with me) she asked me, "Are you asking me to go with you?" YES!!!!!  Her husband was in the room I think I saw the faintest look of nervousness as all husbands do when they realize that their wife might go off and leave them with the children for more than a few hours.  HA!  I think my husband didn't think I would go through with it. But I knew that if I had a partner in crime, then we would hold each other accountable and really go and leave our families for a couple of nights and spend time pampering ourselves.  What better partner to have than your former college roommate and best friend of 13 1/2 years?

J. and I decided that we were actually going to do this and set up a date to go.  After doing some research we decided where and what. I volunteered to make the call and make reservations. When I did I think I closed my eyes and held my breath. Almost like pulling off a band-aid. I couldn't believe I was doing it. Putting down a deposit meant that I really was going to go away for 2 nights and spend some time on my own. Holy cow!!!!!  I'll admit that I didn't talk about it much with my hubby or plan for it or think about it. It was like a dream and if I thought too hard I'd be sure I'd imagine all of it.

So here we are in a little in-town suite in Berkley Springs.  We spent the night scrapbooking and listening to music and catching up. The hubbies are at home with the children.  I feel a little guilty leaving my children and taking time for myself, but at the same time I think that maybe my BF should do this again in the next year to two years when neither of us will be pregnant or nursing (which we are both kind of hoping will happen in the next 12 months).  I think that J. and I are getting to a point in our lives that it is okay to take step away and spend some time by ourselves. Our husbands are great hands-on fathers, and our first children are getting old enough to be of some help around the house...at the very least more independent.  So I'm thinking we should make this an almost annual get away and make it annual after we are done having children. It's kind of hard going away when you are hugely pregnant or nursing an infant. So J. if you are game let's do this again and make a deal that it won't be more than 2 years before go away again!