Babies Don't Keep

Family pic with my parents

 We've only been home 4 days since coming home from our beach trip. And already, I am busy with appointments, prepping for the first week of school, fielding email, and honestly, just sucked into social media (bleh!)  Social media really is my weak spot. I like catching up with what's going on with my friends, but I'm finding myself losing time.

Last week was wonderful week spent with my parents and my father-in-law.  I loved this multi-generational beach vacation. It meant that my children were able to spend some quality time with their grandparents. And as close as we live to my parents, I wish my kiddos were able to spend time with them a little more. My father just retired, so maybe we'll get to him more often. And no, I don't mean for babysitting. I mean just to see him and spend time with him.  My mom still works full-time, so that's a little harder.

Grandpa and the kiddos

One of the best parts of our vacation is that we do not turn on the tv and I spend way less time on my phone.  I ran almost every single day of vacation and it was glorious.  During the week we put together a puzzle, went out for ice cream, browsed the local bookstore, and listened to audiobooks while playing games. My kids had so much fun playing Uno. The giggles were great. We also did one night of Settlers of Catan.  I swear my big kid really draws out the game because he likes to negotiate every time it's his turn. It drives me a little batty. But overall, it's a good time had by all.

And it's during vacation that my big kids get up without complaint to catch a sunrise. My dad started this tradition last year. And yes, it's becoming a tradition. The big kids like that they get this special time with Lolo and Lola.  It's so special to them that they don't want me to miss it so my Buggy asks me to catch a sunrise with her on another day.  I thought she had forgotten this year, but sure enough two days before we left she asked me if we could catch the sunrise. She even invited her older brother along.  It was so worth it.  We headed to the beach. I saw that it was cloudy, but we got to see the sunrise and it was glorious.  I appreciate that my sweet daughter thinks of me and tries to make me slow down and appreciate the here and now. She encourages me to be present even though my mind is racing with all the things on my "to-do" list.

On the last morning, I had woken up early. I planned to finish packing up the house and getting it ready. I was relishing a little quiet time before I had to wake up the house.  But sure enough, my sweet daughter was already awake. We opted to eat breakfast together on the back stoop and we spend our time chatting. I asked her how she felt about the impending school year. While she is excited to have the teacher she wanted, she was nervous about some of her academic struggles.  We were able to go through them, talk about them, and come up with some ways to address them this school year.  If I had gotten to eat breakfast solo as I had anticipated, I would have missed this precious time with my girl. It was time she needed with me to reassure her, to comfort her, and for her to have one-on-one time with Mama.  It was so good to spend that time with her.

As my kids start another school year: 6th grade (read: MIDDLE SCHOOL...EEEK!), 3rd grade, and 1st grade, I'm really starting to feel my time with my kids slowly slipping away.  I'm way too busy and I'm way to preoccupied with what needs to be done.  Being at the beach gives me that opportunity to slow down.  But that is only one week.  In the next two weeks, my kids will begin their fall activities. Their Saturdays will be filled with meets and games and their evenings filled with homework.  Somehow, through all that, I need to find carve out time to be present and to be with them.  Thankfully, we sit down for dinner together every night. Hubby is trying to make it home earlier, but most nights it's just me and the kids.  And I am grateful for this sliver of time to be with them and to hear about their day.  When they say "Babies Don't Keep" they weren't kidding.  May you find time for the people you love and to be present for tomorrow doesn't keep.

True Love

Always my Superman

My husband and I recently celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary.  We were babies when we were married.  Just graduated from college and working real salaried jobs.  I remember Hubby's father interviewing us before our wedding asking if we knew what we were getting into, to which I replied with, "Of course." He said the real answer is, "No. No we don't."  He was so right. We thought we knew what we were in for, but really we had no clue. I don't know if anyone really knows.  Were we ready, yes. But did we really comprehend what we were doing. Heck no.  It has been a roller coaster of emotions and events over the last 16 years.  And yet, 16 years later, we would still do it all over again.  It was the right decision then, and it's still the right decision now.

When sharing my experiences about true love with some of the teens/young adults that I mentor, I tell them that true love is not flowers and fancy dinners.  True love is your spouse washing vomit filled sheets at two in the morning.  It's tag teaming each other when every single person in your family of six has the stomach flu and no one feels well and everyone is vomiting. You take turns sleeping and cleaning out vomit buckets. It's finding out your 8yo came home with a head full of lice, stripping all the sheets, treating everyone's head, and then picking nits out of each other's head at midnight.  It's looking across the dinner table and laughing at an untold joke. It's being able to read each other so well that few words are needed.

True love is not the fancy stuff, it's the nitty gritty life stuff and doing it together. It's knowing that you can rely on your spouse and that your spouse can depend on you.  I wouldn't give up the last 16 years and I look forward to many more of life's adventures with the love of my life.  It doesn't have to be fancy. It just has to be with him.