4 a.m.--What are you doing?

I thought by the 3rd pregnancy I would this all figured out. But I don't. This baby keeps throwing me a curve ball and I'm having a tough time keeping up.  The newest thing (in addition to the extreme fatigue and never-ending nausea) is insomnia.  Really? Come on! I'm tired beyond relief!  I'm so tired I could cry, but crying just makes me stuffy and then I'm really miserable.

I don't want to complain about this pregnancy. This baby is so wanted and I was so looking forward to being pregnant again.  I distinctly remember that giving birth to Buggy was the most amazing feeling. To feel her slide out was intense and awesome! So awesome that I was ready to do it all over again. I remember telling Hubby that I was ready to do this again (literally seconds after giving birth) and the doctor saying, "Take her up on it, not many women say this after just having given birth."

Pregnancy is just an incredible experience. To know that a new life is growing inside me is so amazing.  I love knowing that all I'm doing is for this beautiful being.  At the same time I'm reveling in the love that I have for my other two children who make me what I am on a daily basis: One very lucky mom!

But I'm struggling. Yes, I'm struggling. I have been awake since 4 a.m. and now have been up for over 3 1/2 hours.  Of course I will be exhausted and moms can't be exhausted. It's in the handbook somewhere, right? Mom is available 24/7? Of course I could have been doing something productive, but what am I doing? Playing bejeweled on Facebook or checking the internet and looking for something good on tv (by the way there isn't anything good on t.v at 4 a.m.).

Thank goodness for an amazing husband and active, yet well behaved children. I will definitely survive this pregnancy. A little more tired, a little older, but infinitely more blessed.