What a Difference a Year Makes!

Another school year has passed and Boogie just graduated from his 3 year old preschool class. My how time flies!  My son just received a poster from his 3 year preschool teacher with the picture they took of us on the first day of school. I also have a picture of us that they took just before Mother's Day weekend this year. Wow what a difference!  He looks older to me, somehow. And boy, did I lose some of the roundness in my face :)

 

Priorities

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities--Stephen R. Covey


This was the quote I read today and it made me really go, "huh."  If you know me, then you know I'm a planner. I have my Tungsten (I really want an iphone!) and I schedule everything in it.  Everything's color coordinated so I know who is doing what and when.  My planner also has a "task" section.  Everyday I have a list of things that I would like to get done. I'm also realistic and realize that I won't get it all done, but I really, really like checking things off.

In my "to-do" list, which I update every Sunday (hello 1st born neurotic tendencies or is it OCD?) I always have a list of 100+ things I'd like to get done that week. It never happens, but I try.  Who says that being a SAHM is easy? I give myself things to do and ideas for the week. I like being busy and productive. However when does busy and productive become overwhelmed and stressed...when you literally try to check off 100+ things off your list.


So the quote from Covey has me thinking. What are my priorities and how do I schedule them?  My priorities are:

**spending time with my kids & Hubby
**having a morning devotional. I feel it really prepares me for the day. It's my time with God.
**blogging (SO cathartic!)
**working out
**making baby blankets for friends, family, and the pregnancy center

I definitely get to check off each of the above each day...it's the other things that I would like to do, and some that should be priorities that don't get checked off. Something to think about.

What are your priorities? Are you able to get to get them on a daily or weekly basis? How do you schedule your time?

Stuck in the Middle, not so bad....

I guess I showed off my first-born neurotic tendencies in my blog post yesterday in writing about middle children. I'm not good with not knowing, so I have to know everything. If I don't know it, I ask about it and then I analyze it. Oh, boy!

I got a lot of great responses, yesterday, to my post.  Thank you to everyone, who responded!  What it boils down to (and I guess I already knew) is to love each of my children for who they are and what they bring to the table. Each kid will bring his/her own gifts and talents to our family. I will love each one differently, but not any less.  I remember being pregnant with my daughter and wondering how I could love her as much as I love my son. I look at her now and say: How couldn't I love you as much as I do? I love each child so much. They are very different and I love that about them.

Birth order certainly doesn't define a personality (thanks, A), and I will remember to show all of my children that they are loved for who they are (thanks, J), there are certainly middle-children who are fine (thanks, L), and yes, the world needs middle children to make the world go round (thanks, M).  Hubby and I will be the best parents we can be (thanks, R.)  I will continue to  pray for each of my children and I think that is one of the greatest things I can do for them.

The most experience I have had with a middle child is my SIL (sister-in-law). If I had one ounce of her diplomacy I would be a better person and my life would be easier.  She is also an incredible mom who pours her heart into her children making them well rounded, incredible individuals. She's a great example of motherhood. If my Buggy grew up with her diplomacy and heart, that would be a great thing :) (Love you, sis!)

So, as I wrote yesterday's post, I knew that Buggy would be (God-willing) the middle of three kids or the second in a line of four, five, or however many God has planned for us. Hubby and I have already decided that we want more kids, so no matter what, Buggy will be what she already is...our second child.  We'll see what the future holds :)

Stuck in the Middle...

I am the oldest of 2 children and my husband is the youngest of five. We compliment each other with our personalities. I tend to be "Type-A" and (somewhat) organized. I have a plan and a list and I always know what's going on in our household.  My husband is more relaxed, less frenzied, though his siblings would say he's intense. (One of BILs laughed when I said my husband was laid back).  Our personalities work together and we tend to balance each other out.  

As we contemplate Baby #3, I have been thinking more and more about the "middle child syndrome" or is it a syndrome that I'm making up? Is there any truth to birth order theories?  I've heard from friends who are middle children or have middle children in their family and there seems to be a concern for middle children. Do they fit anywhere? They aren't the oldest so they don't get to be the "first" and they aren't the youngest, so they aren't babied and when they were babied, they don't have any recollection.  They want to be noticed for who they are and not compared to their siblings.  Yet, it seems they get lost...well, in the middle.

I worry about this because we will be possibly making Baby #2, my beautiful daughter, the middle kid.  I love Buggy's personality! She's fun, feisty, sweet, mischievous, and perfect just the way she is. I don't want to give her a complex because she's become the middle child.

Now of course I'm speaking to this with absolutely no personal point of reference. Like I said, I'm the oldest of two. My husband says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. But somebody out there does!  I told Hubby that if we try for Baby #3, then we absolutely have to try for Baby #4 so there are no middle children...I'm even willing to try for #5 because I feel that even if there is a middle with 5, there would be enough kids to balance it out.

So what do you think? Am I making this up? What is your experience with middle children? Any ideas on how to make the transition smooth for my little girl when the time comes?  I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, whether you are a middle child, have a sibling that's a middle child, or have middle children. What are you experiences and thoughts?

Frosted Glass Windows?

Do you all know about frosted glass windows? The ones with the bubbly texture? They are usually used for shower stalls in homes. I think they are fine for private homes. Not in public bathrooms!  With the frosted glass, bubbly windows you are sure to see the person, but no detail. Again, fine for a private home.

Just recently my husband and I took our kids to a kid's birthday party at a museum. It was way cool. They had fun party favors and then after food they got to play and build things. They could make a mess and have fun trying new things. Of course, with young children or and teeny tiny bladder like mine, you are inevitably going to take a trip to the bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom and thought I walked into the wrong room. I looked around. Yup, long row of sinks. Yup, a long row of small, closed rooms. Yup, I'm in a bathroom. Um, hello, is that a frosted glass window in front of the stall?  I peered, yup, I can see the outline of a toilet. Are you kidding me?  I'm a pretty modest person. I'm not a fan of changing in front of people. Even at the gym when I have to use the shower stalls (which of course have frosted, bubbly glass windows) I use a towel over the stall door for modesty.  A lot of the women don't, but I do. But I digress.

I'm not at the gym, I'm at a museum.  I realize that the farther you are from the glass, that less can be seen, but still I really don't want to see anyone sitting on the toilet or vice versa. This is called BAD DESIGN!!!!  Fortunately, it wasn't crowded and I jetted in and out of the stall as fast as humanly possible.   This might have seem like a fun idea to the designer.  I still call it BAD DESIGN! No wants us to be that intimate. Thanks ;)

Aloha Flavors Review

If ever you are in Maui, take a day trip to 'Iao Needle Valley State Park. It is a beautiful place. If you have young kids, this is a great place to go. The trails are super easy and it takes maybe 30 minutes to hike it. Just enough for little feet.

On the way back, stop at Aloha Flavors for a shaved ice.  This stand will be found in the parking lot at the Tropical Gardens of Maui, just down the road from 'Iao Needle Valley State Park.

After walking around and exploring, the whole family needed a little pick me up. We saw the shaved ice stand on the way to the park and made a mental note to stop there on the way back. What a great idea! The owner, Lani, is super-friendly, the prices are great, and the treats hit the spot.  She has a little of everything to satisfy the weary traveler. It's a perfect spot for families because she sells kid-friendly food:  shave ice, shave ice with ice cream, smoothies, hot dogs, chips, and drinks.  She even has a fruit stand on the side, so if you want a little fruit to bring home for dinner, she's got it for you!  Lani was great talking to our family.  We found out that we came to visit on her second day of business. We will definitely visit her again the next time we are in Maui.

My kids shared a rainbow shaved ice. They had to share it because it was HUGE. Even I got a few bites without putting a dent in it :)  Hubby got himself a smoothie, made with fresh fruit and a coconut milk, just the thing, since he isn't a big fan of yogurt smoothies. I was hungry and happy to find out that Aloha Flavors also sold hot dogs with the option to buy chips and a drink with it.  After chasing the kids and making sure they didn't fall off the side of the mountain, I had worked up an appetite.

Definitely a place to visit with your family. One note, there is only one small sign at the entrance of the garden center and you might miss it as you drive by.  Look for the Tropical Gardens of Maui and it's right in their parking lot.  Since it was only her second day of business there wasn't any seating available. The family and I parked ourselves on a curb in the shade to enjoy our snacks.  It was still a great picnic and we enjoyed ourselves. Aloha and enjoy!

Big Girl Pants

So I told myself I would be better about Hubby's business traveling.  I would put on my big-girl pants and suck it up.  Yeah, that lasted until the next time he had to start making travel plans.

 He called me from work a few days ago with new dates for a trip he is taking. He asked me what I thought about him traveling on our wedding anniversary. I quickly threw off the big girl pants and told him that if he had any say in it, then no that wouldn't be okay. I must have said a lot more than that and not very nicely because his response was, "A simple yes or no will suffice."

For now I've shucked off the big-girl pants. I'll try them on again tomorrow ;)

I Will Be The One

My mom is a little Filipino lady.  She has high standards, is quite efficient, has great spatial reasoning, and can be very demanding.  On the flip side, she is shy in new social settings, tends to keep to herself, and is happiest when she is doing something for others.

Growing up, my mom and I had a tumultuous relationship.  I felt like I could never meet her standards and that I always fell below in her expectations. Talk to my brother and you will hear the opposite. He told me that she always told him how proud of me she was/is.  The same goes for me, I don't think I ever heard what she thought of me, but I always heard how proud of my brother she was/is.  Its just her way.  She cried when she attended my graduation from college, but I don't think she ever verbally told me she was proud of me...she just told me to straighten my robe.  She's a tough cookie. But that's the way she grew up. No one expressed their feelings, but they showed that they loved you by doing things for you.

My mom's catch phrase is "I will be the one." I remember hearing it as a kid, and I still hear it as an adult.  My aunt (my dad's sister) remembers her saying it long before I was born.

Whenever dishes needed to be washed, clothes to be laundered, food to be cooked, house to be organized, things to be packed (as they inevitably needed to be as we moved every 3 years being part of a military family), my mom would say, "I will be the one."  And she was always the one.  It drove me nuts that no one was allowed to give her hand. She always did it and she always did it her way.  No other way was right or done well.  It's a very frustrating thing to have to deal with that all the time.

Over the years, I have learned that "I will be the one" means "I love you" from my mom.  She knew that she could things well and why trouble you with it, when she could do it herself, probably more easily and probably better. Let's face it, you've seen how I organize a house, she is definitely better!  I'm learning to back off when she says "I will be the one." It's her way of feeling useful and showing her love. I didn't understand it before, but now that I have my own family, I'm starting to understand her better.

Just recently my side of the family vacationed together.  One of the things that I noticed when we got to the condo was that they had a new dishwasher that was a little fancier and was a little harder to figure out. I figured it out and washed our dishes with no problems the 3 days before my parents arrived.  The condo also had a new high efficiency washer and dryer.  There were very specific directions posted over both machines. I figured it out, and washed and dried our clothes without any issues the 3 days before my parents arrived.

When my mom arrived she wanted to get to it.  For our first dinner together, she hopped up and began doing putting everything away and loaded the dishwasher. She paused, looked at the machine again, and asked my husband what to do. He said to ask me, because I'm the one who figured it out.  I taught her how to do it, and then told her, "I will be the one" and took care of the rest of the dishes. For a few days I was the one, until she figured it out on her own.  The same with the washer and dryer. She kept insisting on using the one detergent not recommended for the machine. It took a little explaining and finally I walked her down to the machines at the end of our hall.  She looked at me and said, "I don't know how to do this."  I told her, "I will be the one."  I loaded the machine with clothes, detergent, and coins, selected my settings and pushed start.  She watched me do it a few times over the course of the next few days and then she became "the one."

It's weird to be in this sort of role reversal where "I will be the one" referred to me and not to my mother.  For the first time in my life, my mom referred to me and asked me to help her (I'm sure not an easy thing to do for an independent and feisty Filipino woman).  I noticed as time went on, that I carried on the same character traits with my own family: when my husband asks me to find something (and my son said, "because you're good at it, Mommy"), when I clean up the dishes, pack our clothes before a trip and to go home, or to research something. I will be the one.

An Almost 5 hour Layover + Almost Missing Our Flight Home = Good Times (NOT!)

We left Maui at 9:05pm and arrived in LA at 5:02 am, which was really 2:02 am Maui time.  Baby Bug did not sleep the entire flight. She wasn't bad, necessarily, but she wasn't great. There was no crying or screaming, she just couldn't sleep. For 5 hours it as "Mommy, Mommy, Daddy, Daddy" and a constant shifting between laps.  Her brother was a champ and slept the whole time. Daddy got maybe an hour's worth of sleep while I tried desperately to snooze while holding a squirming toddler. Needless to say that did not work out so well.  I finally resorted to the ipod the last hour letting her watch her beloved "Caillou." Wish I had thought of it sooner.

We arrived at LAX with no problems. Slightly grumpy, very tired, and hungry, but no problems.  We made our way to the bathrooms, out of security to find our new terminal, and back to a new check-in with a new carrier (that's what I get for going budget), and back into security.  Somehow in our travels we ended up in the business class section for United and the lady let us use their kiosks for checking in and we  used their security check in line.  At the time in my sleep deprived haze I didn't realize we were in the wrong line and told Will we should travel United more often since it was our easiest check-in yet. He informed me that we were in the wrong line and things are always better when you fly first class or business.  Huh...it's a whole new world and it's so accommodating!  Of course we did not have business seats, just checked in at the wrong place :)

After finding  our gate, we did the usual, allowed the kids to run around the almost empty gate, ate some breakfast and took turns snoozing. We even popped in a DVD for the kids.  Our flight was supposed to leave at 9:50. Around 8:30 we made sure to do another diaper change for Bugs, and made sure that Boogie used the bathroom. I fell asleep on the seats while Hubby took care of that. For some reason he arrived back around 9:15...or maybe I was just sleeping heavily. I got up, looked around, and didn't see any agents, people lined up or an airplane at the gate. I went to the bathroom and did another check on the screens for departures.

ARGGGGHHHH!!! We were no longer departing from Gate 70A as per our tickets, but now switched over to Gate 83.  When did that happen?  We never heard an announcement (not that they didn't give one, we just never heard it!). I threw all of the stuff we had strewn out of the bags: dvd player, headphones, DVDs, pillow pets. I told Hubby we had to book it to Gate 83. He offered to go ahead and check things out and come back and get us.  I told him that we didn't have time and it was better to all go together.  Boy am I glad that we did. And boy am I glad that I work out! I grabbed the double-stroller with all our carry-on crap and booked it down the hall. Hubby had Bug and Boogie followed behind us.  At one point, Hubby had to carry both kids because they couldn't keep up. I flew down the hallway to find out, yes, indeed, they had changed our gate, and yes, indeed, they were already boarding!

How is it possible to have an almost 5-hour layover and to still almost miss the flight home? I swear my life is like sitcom and everyone else is laughing but me ;)  Hubby checked us all in, grabbed the kids, and all of the carry-ons and boarded the flight (not an easy task).  I stayed behind at the gate to gate-check the double stroller and to struggle putting it in the stroller bag. Thank goodness a very nice TSA lady helped me by keeping the bag open while shoved the stroller in it. Hubby wanted to pitch the bag from leg 1 of our journey, but I insisted on keeping it and being the one to struggle with it the next four flights (to Maui and back). I'm glad that I did. The stroller bag took a beating and was ripped in some places, but the stroller itself is still in good condition. I don't care if the bag is beat up, as long as my stroller is fine :) Priorities, priorities :)

Well we made it home. Everyone was able to sleep the second leg of the journey home.  We grabbed dinner on the way home and walked in our door at 8pm our time.  After our flights, it was a beautiful place to be...now if only I could sleep at night...still jet lagged :)

Ohana

I haven't been blogging because I've been away for the last 2 weeks in beautiful Maui. We had a mini reunion with my side of the family.  We were able to spend time with my parents and my brother.  We haven't seen my brother in 18 months and he's never been to Maui, so this was a good opportunity to spend  time as a family.

In Hawaiian, ohana means family.  We were definitely Ohana-ing it in Maui.  My kids got to spend some time with their grandparents. This was a great opportunity for my daughter to get some individualized attention from my parents.  When my son was born, my mom took care of him for 2 years while I was working.  After I stopped working, she went back to work. She hasn't been able to spend the same type of quality time with my daughter as she did with my son.  I'm glad that they had this time for bonding.

My brother lives in another state and hasn't had much opportunity to spend any length of time with the kids.  The last time we saw him was for Thanksgiving 18 months ago. Buggy was only a month old at the time.  He was a trooper. My kids woke him up everything morning and I think my son wore him out by asking him to play with him all the time.

This was the first vacation that Hubby and I have had where we actually got to relax together a few times. We were able to sit by the pool while the kids were napping because inevitably the grandparents were there napping, too :)

This is the first time in about 12 years (I think) that my side of the family lived under the same roof. I have to admit that I was a little worried about the dynamics. It's never easy to travel and it's never easy to travel with someone other than your immediate family (in my case meaning my kids and Hubby). We all have our idiosyncrasies, and sometimes they don't go well together. But in our case, we really seem to vacation well together. This is the second big vacation we've taken with my parents and that went well, too.

Maybe there is something in the Maui air, but it seemed like we rarely treaded on each other's nerves. Maybe a little towards the end with the stress of packing up again and going back to our busy lives, but overall not too bad!

I even got to spend some one-on-one time with my brother. One night when everyone went back to the room he and I spent some time talking over some fro-yo. I go to hear about what's going on in his life in Nebraska and hopefully connecting with him again as adults.  My brother and I are fairly different.  He's outgoing, social, devil-may-care, easy going, relaxed, friendly. I'm definitely more up-tight, a rule-follower, a planner, more shy, hesitant, a list-maker, deliberate.  Growing up it made things difficult, because we couldn't relate well to one another. I'm hoping now that we are adults, that it won't be so hard to connect. Maui was definitely a step in the right direction.  He was so good with my kids and for that, I am very grateful.

We are back home and trying to get back in the swing of things. I hope that maybe my brother and I can spend more time together, maybe through Skype so that he can see the kids and maybe the kids can get a chance to talk to him. I hope that spending extra time with my daughter, that my parents feel as if they've connected with her a little more.  We are a still a little jet lagged at my house, but at least it's summer and we've got time. Life is good!