In Need of a Do-Over

Yesterday, it was just one thing after another!  It probably didn't help that I woke up with a bit of a bad attitude because my car was in the shop. But I love my car, not because it's fashionable or fancy, but because it's my car and I feel stranded without it!

Why I think I need a do-over:

7am--Take Hubby to metro so he can go to work and I can still have a car.  (Wake up kids who would have probably slept in today and get them in the car to take Daddy to Metro).

8:33am--Call Children's Hospital (3rd call) to set up an appt. for my son. I had gotten a referral from Kaiser to have them evaluate my son's walking. He walks on his toes and has been doing it consistently since he could walk. He's 4.  Even though the last two times I called they said that to call back in the morning and they start taking calls at 8:30, I got a message machine saying that they take calls at 9am. The person who answered my call and transferred me was incredibly rude. Asked me what I was calling for and while I was trying to explain, cut me off without any explanation and transferred me to another department while I was in the middle of talking. Found myself talking to music.

9:10--Leave for gym (an hour later than I wanted to!)  After 10 minutes of trying to figure out how to fit my double stroller in the our 4-door sedan and missing my minivan even more!

11:10am--sitting in parking lot at McD's, not for food, but so I could call JCPenney's to see if I could come in to view the pictures that they took the day before my Buggy. They couldn't show them to me yesterday because they were too busy but assured me I could come in anytime yesterday to view and purchase.  It was at this time my daughter starts screaming and crying.  When I asked my son what happened I get the classic response, "I don't want to tell you." After much effort to he asks, "What would happen to me if I told you I bit her?" *sigh* Come to find out he bit her finger. He doesn't know why, or so he says.  As he's explaining why he won't tell me what he did, he's crying loudly.  Took me 15 minutes to find the right number for Penney's because the number I was given the day before was for the optical department, not the portrait studio. Thank goodness for cell phones with internet. Got the number, only to be told by a different photographer that he could set me up to view the pictures, but he had an appointment at the same time.

11:45-12:35--waiting to view the pictures, viewed the pictures, waiting to be seen so that I could pay for pictures.  Took way longer than necessary. I was told that two people would be in the studio that day and I would be helped if I came in anytime before 2pm. I did, they didn't.  Two hungry children and 1 in desperate need for a nap made for a grumpy mommy.

12:35--Lunch to go from Mcd's for the kids.  I hate that I did this, but they were starving and so was I.

1:15--Baby down for a nap. Called Children's again, same rude person, same cut off, same transfer, only to be talking to a message machine to leave my name, number, and reason for my call and that they would get back to me in the next 48-72 hours. *sigh* This was the 4th call I made to try to get an appointment for my son.

1:30--Car shop called. "Ma'am, we can't find anything wrong with your car."  This is after my car wouldn't start several times and when it did start it died immediately 2x in a row.  Which is why we took it in and yet the car started for them several times and perfectly. So we wasted a day?

4:30pm--Had to call the exterminator to find out what time they were coming because I had to leave in 30 min. to pick up Hubby from the metro to get the car before the shop closed.   My bad, I didn't realize it was a 2 hour window, and they technician couldn't get there until after I had to leave to pick up Hubby. Fortunately, receptionist was really, really nice and helpful!

5:20--20 minutes late picking up Hubby, because baby had a mini-blow out in her diaper. Had to change everything before leaving the house.

5:30--Car shop didn't see that my husband asked them to do an oil change, so nothing happened with the minivan that day. Nothing.

5:45--walk in door and promptly dropped a glass bottle of Izze blackberry soda on my tile kitchen tile floors that I had just wet-Swiffered not only 2 hours before. Glass and soda everywhere.

I just felt like it was one thing after another! I was in desperate need of a do-over. My husband "helpfully" told me that I was very grumpy.  Fortunately today is just t-ball and swim class. The rest of the day is "free!"  Now to get all the errands don today that I couldn't get done yesterday!

Good things
I feel like I should tell you of the few good things that happened yesterday:

1. My son woke up with a dry pull-up. I heard him get up at 2:30am to go to the bathroom. He came in to give my Hubby and me and kiss and he went back to bed. Woke up to dryness. Awesome!

2.  The receptionist at Ehrlich Pest Control was really understanding and helpful. After a full day of not-so-very helpful people, she was was breath of fresh air. Which is one of the reasons, I will probably use them again. Oh, and because they got rid of my ants!

3.  When my husband came home to find me on my hands and knees cleaning up glass and blackberry soda. He took over and I watched my son play outside for a few minutes.


4.  Headed to bed to find that Glee was doing a repeat or Tuesday's episode and I wouldn't have to Hulu later in the day. I'm a Gleek.

5. Two happy pictures I took while waiting for dinner to heat up.

  My happy boys.

My happy Sunshine

Targus Bag Giveaway on J. Leigh Designz

In January my wonderful Hubby bought me a new laptop. I love it. It's so much faster than our old Dell. Getting a new Macbook has been wonderful. I love how quick it is and I use it everyday, whether I'm bloggin', planning meals on Plan to Eat, or checking out Facebook.  One of the things that I really need is a new laptop bag. Especially for all the trips I take to the Apple store learning how to use my Macbook, or for all of the traveling we'll do this summer.

I found a bag that I know will work out for me! J. Leigh Designz did a review on the Targus 17" CityGear Miami Messenger Bag.  After reading the review for the  Targus 17"CityGear Miami Messenger Bag I know this is the bag for me! The fact that it has multiple pockets for my laptop and then my kids' gear for long trips is perfect.  I love the idea that it will be easy to use at the airport and that I can do everything one handed while still holding onto my two little loves while we are traveling.  Check out the review on J.Leigh Designz Targus Bag Giveaway and check out her giveaway. Take a look at the Targus  website and check out their other gear.  I became a fan on Facebook and love that I found a new place to help me organize my discombobulated life :)

Anything I find that I think will be useful in my discombobulated life, I am happy to pass it on to you. Check it out and let me know what you think!

Game On, wait Game Off, No, Game On!

Thanks for the blog title, Jessica.  So in thinking about having baby #3, it's been on my mind a lot.  Especially now that I have lost all of the baby weight from both kids, I feel like it's time to start trying if I'm going to try. No sense in waiting for the the littlest one to be out of diapers for a while to try this thing again. At least I'll still be in the habit of changing diapers.

Sitting in Church yesterday I watched my son go in to give his sister a little hug and a tiny push, enough to send her off the pew and onto her back on the hard cement floor. Doh! He was on his stomach on the pew behind me and the hubby. I said, "Jeez!" grabbed his legs and slid him to me. My daughter is crying and Hubby is trying to console her. Boogie is seeing this and saying, "I want Daddy to hold me." Um, not a chance Buddy, you just knocked your sister off the pew and she's crying. He ended up being held by me for the next ten minutes. I could tell he felt bad. As I'm holding him, and listening to her cry, I'm thinking, this is exactly why I'm not ready for a third. Game off!

Buggy stops crying but now has a lovely red line from her bottom lip to the end of her chin. We don't know how she got it, but she got in in the process of falling off the pew.  I'm thinking, how in the world can I do this? There is no way we can handle a third. Right now it's man to man. I got one, you've got one. If we have a third it's all about zone, baby.  Someone is always going to be outnumbered and I have a feeling it's going to be me.

As the sermon continues and Buggy is sitting peacefully in her father's arms, my son gets off my lap, walks over to her, and then gives her several kisses on the face. Light, sweet kisses.  Guess what? Game on!

I'd Like Another, But....

My husband and I are talking about trying for kid number three.  This isn't new news since before we were married my husband said he wanted enough for a football team. Since then, he's fortunately brought down his expectations to a reasonable number...at least two, with always the possibility of growing our family.

Here's the thing. I love my life. My two kids are the greatest. They are fun and loving. They make me laugh and remind me on a daily basis that choosing to be home with them is and will always have been the right choice for us in this time of our lives.

Boogie is 99% potty trained. We're still working on night-time dryness, but overall he's potty-trained. He will also be in preschool 4 half days a week next school year. Sweet. I can enjoy my mornings with him and get things done in the afternoons. Buggy is growing so fast and is my little helper.  She's learning new words by the day and forming more sentences by the minute.  She is already attempting potty training. Nothing yet, but at least interested. Not bad, considering she's 17 1/2 months old.  However we will have to teach her to sit down for going potty. She's watched her brother one too many times and when she tries to go, she stands at the toilet and thrusts her little pelvis towards the bowl. Too funny. But I digress....

We are in a really, really good place right now.  I feel like I'm finally got this two-kid thing down. We've had more good days versus challenging days. Boogie is being more helpful and I think we are finally sliding out of the trying 3's.  Buggy is fun and we're finally able to find time to do things just the two of us...hence enrolling her in parent-assisted soccer classes while her brother is in school and parent-assisted swim classes on Saturdays while Daddy and Boogie hang out together. Having two kids is great. I got this!

However, there are days when I am ready to pull out my hair. When all I want to do is barricade us in the house and watch hours and hours of PBS while we all snuggle together on the couch. There are days when I just can't take the fussing and the whining or having just one more thing to do, no matter how self-imposed I made it (like the soccer, the t-ball, the swimming...).  So the thought of adding one more to the mix is very daunting.

But, I don't think I'm done. I feel like our family is missing at least one more family member. Our family is complete in the sense that it's complete for right now, but there's definite room for growth.  I can already imagine our family expanding and can't imagine it without a 3rd little one to compliment it.  (I'm willing to have at least five, but I don't know if my sanity can take it. Being so type A, chaos overwhelms me. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.)  So I guess we've made our decision. We're ready for another. But I won't be disappointed if we don't get pregnant right away. We'll just have fun trying :)

Juggling Act

I'm up before the crack of dawn because we gotta get movin' today.  So much to do with little ones.  The morning will start of with a 9am T-ball game for my son.  My hubby will take him to the game while I get the little one up, fed, and dressed for the day. If there is any time before we leave the house, I will try to straighten it because I won't have time before the sitter comes to watch the kids so that Hubby and I can go out for our date night.

The Bug and I will go to the field where my hubby and I will do the hand off for swim lessons. He will take The Bug to swim lessons and I will stay and finish out the T-ball game with my son.  After it's done, he and I will go to the swim center where I will change my clothes to get ready for a bridal shower that I am attending this afternoon.  Then I will hand off my son to my husband after the little one's swim lessons, and then I'm rolling out for a bridal shower that's scheduled to be 4 1/2 hours long and that I'll still be late for because even with all the juggling, we can't do that hand-off any earlier because of the time of my Buggy's swim lesson.  Whew! That's a lot of juggling in a short amount of time. I will be on the road by the time my husband wrangles the kids and gets them home. I'll get home maybe 30 minutes before the babysitter arrives, in which time I will greet my family and then continue to organize the house so that she doesn't think that we live in a pit.

I feel like I'm running on empty. My husband was gone most of last week for a business trip. He's home and I feel like we haven't had 2 seconds to spend together due to trying to organize our plans for the weekend.  I'm still recuperating from not having him home for a week. I'm sleep-deprived and exhausted. He's still trying to get over his jet lag and get back in the rhythm of being home. Date night will be a relief and purposefully scheduled so that we can have some time together.  It's the time between now and date night that's going to be a juggling act.

The Curse of Having a Helpful Husband

It must be Spring or the beginning of warmer weather. I know this, not because the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, and we are playing outside, but because my husband has to work late and is going on travel (soon) for work.

It stinks...sucksola!  I hate it.  I get stressed and anxious about  his travels weeks before he actually leaves. It makes me edgy and moody. Mostly I worry about him flying.  I hate when he flies by himself. I would rather be flying with him. Not because I like flying because (here's a morbid thought), he goes, I go.  That's right, if something were to happen, we would be together.  There you go, welcome to my neurosis.

While my husband usually works 40-50 hours a week (including commuting time it can be up to 60-70 hours a week), he is truly helpful around the house.  As soon as he walks in the door he's in Dad/Husband mode. No rest for the weary. He plays with the kids while I finish putting dinner on the table. He's getting them ready for bed while I clean up after dinner. I think I mentally, emotionally, and physically relax because he's home.  I don't have to be "on" for the kids. I can take a break.

We work so well together. It's nice having a partner helping you with everything. Someone you don't have to explain what goes where or how the children do x, y, and z.  We're a team and we work in tandem.  When he's gone, I'm solo. Not only do I do my "jobs" around the house, I do his, too.  It's the daily chores, I'm talking about...getting the kids ready for bed, loading and unloading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, making sure the house is secure for the night, feeding the cats and scooping the litter.  It's those things that make my day easier. They're daily chores that get done and I don't have to think about them.

To add to that I think my mommy radar works in overtime. I don't sleep as well because I'm subconsciously listening for my children and any possible invaders. I know,  I know, invaders? Highly unlikely, but in my neurotic world anything can happen.  Who knows, maybe I should sleep with a bat time and say "It's go time" if I hear somebody in my house (bonus points to anyone who can identify that scene from a current television show).

Having him gone for several days is really the curse of having a helpful husband. I realize just how much he really does for the family.  On top of all of his helpfulness, he is my best friend. The one person who knows me completely, inside and out. At the end of the day he knows just what to say to make me feel like I'm a good mother and wife.  Missing his companionship just makes him going away that much harder.

Trust

My son is taking swim classes with our local recreation department. He loves the water and this is great bonding experience for us.  It's just the two of us, while my daughter spends a little one-on-one time with my parents, and my husband is still at work.

One of the things that we've been working is floating on his back. We've been trying to do this for years (every summer) but my son will float if I'm holding him, but if I start to slowly pull away my hands he pikes and grabs my hands.  He won't do it! Two weeks ago we tried and he allowed me to slowly pull away my hands and he floated by himself for several seconds. I am so proud of him! It was a long road, but we did it!

As we did this exercise several times during the class, and he continued to float by himself, I thought about how much he must trust me. He trusts me to be there when he feels himself floundering.  He trusts that I will pull him up and hold onto him. He trusts me to be by his side.

 I thought about what made him decide to float on his own and I came up with follow-through. Yes, follow-through. My son knows that I will follow-through with what I tell him I'm going to do...good, bad, indifferent, I will follow-through.  The last few times we tried floating, I told him that I will always catch him.  When I would pull my hands away, he would grab them to make sure I was still there, and I was. I always caught him, I always held him, I was always right next to him. I made him a promise and I followed through with it.  The last time he floated, he knew that I would be right there and I would catch him. He trusted me and I was there. Yay, us!

So many times in parenting I don't want to follow through...especially with the consequences. Taking away something, giving a time out, saying no. Because sometimes the tears come and so do the tantrums.  Sometimes I just want to say "Fine!", but having been a teacher for 8 years I learned very quickly that your students will overrun you if you don't follow-through. They have long memories and they'll remember if you did something that you said that you were going to do.  I took this skill with me into my parenting world.  A friend of mine once said, "It's so much easier to be a bad parent. Giving into your kids all the time, not setting boundaries or structure, no discipline. It's easy.  The hard part is being a good parent, finding the balance between structure and flexibility. Saying yes when it counts, and saying no when it really counts."  She's right. They don't hand you a manual when you have a baby. They send you home with a 3-day old and you hope that you don't screw it up.

My son has learned over the last 4 years that I will provide structure and balance. I will be there for him when he flounders and when he celebrates. I will rejoice in his successes and support him when he needs a little more guidance. We have developed trust and I pray that it will carry him through as he continues to grow.

Plan to Eat

If you've been following along, you know that I'm not the most organized person, hence the many times-lost keys, the mixed up dates for preschool enrollment, the pile of papers on my kitchen counter (that I swear breed when I'm not looking!)  Organization is something I have to work at and towards.  Sometimes I would love to throw in the towel and say "Fine! You win!" to all the stuff that accumulates (it's really just papers!), but I don't and over time I have become more organized. I'm better than I was 10 years ago and definitely better since I've became a SAHM two years ago.

Being a SAHM, I have taken over the cooking and I've already mentioned that family dinner time is important to us. Two years ago, this was a daunting task and not one that I relished. My husband is a fabulous cook and I'm thrilled when he takes over.  But again, over time I have learned to like it, to learn to go with the flow, and now venture into new recipes. One of the things that used to throw me for a loop was the ageless question: "What's for dinner?" It takes so much planning! Do you need to defrost anything? Do you have the right ingredients for what you want to make?  Did you just have chicken last night? Do you want it again tonight?

If you've ever been to my house you may have seen the calendar on the side of the fridge that has a meal written down for each night.  I keep in mind dates that I know we won't be eating at home because we are at a celebration, nights for leftovers, and at least one night for a slowcooker meal.  My friends were impressed but then I shared my secret, I have a cookbook called "The One-Armed Cook" than I love. The meals are simple and can all be done while holding a baby in one arm if needed.  I also use the calendar to help me with my shopping list and to know "What's for dinner?" every night of the month. It totally helped when I made the transition of having one kid to two kids.  I shop at two places for food, the local grocery store and the local superstore. I get my dry goods and frozen ingredients at the superstore and my fresh produce at the grocery store (only because I'm afraid that I can't eat all of the fresh stuff before it would go bad if I buy it in bulk.)  However, my planning can take up to over an hour for planning for the month, including writing grocery lists (one for the local grocery store and one for my bulk items at a superstore).

On my birthday I received an e-mail for a contest I had entered for a year's subscription to Plan to Eat.   I was informed I won and I am so excited! What a great inadvertent birthday present! It's an electronic version of my pen & paper method of planning meals for the month and writing out grocery lists.  I've only had it a few days and have only logged on a couple of times because of it being Easter weekend and being terribly busy. I'm still learning to use it to my full benefit. So far, really easy! I type in my recipes, drop them into the days of the calendar, and the site helps me to create shopping lists from the ingredients I'm using (read: it actually creates the lists for me! I don't have to go back to my recipes and write down my shopping list on a separate sheet of paper), gives me a place to add non-food items (diapers, wipes, etc) to my list, and then I can drop my items into a shopping list for any of the stores I use. It took way less time to create a shopping list than it usually does. How about mere minutes versus 30+ minutes to an hour!!  I'm looking forward to how this will help me save money too! With me not working I am really conscientious about how much money I spend everywhere. One place that I can cut costs without making sacrifices is the grocery store. It just means shopping better.  With the lists I think I can do that.  I'll let you know how it goes!

p.s.  I am not receiving any compensation for writing about this. I am just really excited I won this. I really got into using it last night and I'm shocked how it is already saving me time. The longest part is writing in all my recipes. But once I'm done with that I won't have to do it again! No more lost recipes I snipped out of magazines.  As the Discombobulated Mommy I am happy to pass along anything that will  help us find more time to spend with our kids and less time on the "chores" of the house, while still maintaining our sanity.  If you join Plan to Eat, friend me and let's share recipes!

A Mom's Birthday

A few weeks ago I was speaking to a family friend about a "Mom's Birthday" or a "Parents' Anniversary." Meaning that now that we are parents very rarely is our special day just about us...there are parental obligations that must still be fulfilled.  I definitely had a Mom's Birthday this year.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I have been a mom for 4 years. I think yesterday was the first birthday I had (in a while) where I wasn't pregnant or nursing. My body was all mine! Kind of nice :)

But I definitely woke up with the beginnings of a Mom's birthday. First off my husband and I slept terribly because our 4 year old was having night terrors (the first in quite a while).  He woke up every 2 hours crying and screaming and calling for us, all the while he was still very much asleep. It didn't stop until after 1am, so I woke up on my birthday exhausted.  Count the two previous days where I was getting up at 4:30am for a Spin class at the gym, and I was pretty much a zombie before I even got started.

It was also Good Friday, and being Catholic it is a day of fasting.  Good times.  I feel selfish that I wanted to complain about fasting on my birthday and not having a birthday cake, especially when I was observing a day that my Savior gave up His life for me. So no outwardly complaining, but I was a little bummed...

To add to the lack of sleep and food, in my infinite wisdom as a mom, I decided that yesterday would be the perfect day for my son to have his 4 year old wellness check up with the doctor. If you have ever had a four year old, you know that means 4 shots! I knew this going in, but it was also a day that my husband had off. I also decided that my daughter would also get a check up at the same time to check on her ear infection (gone, thank goodness!) and get her final H1N1 booster. Yes, shots, all around!  Awesomeness...

You realize after becoming a parent that your birthday is no longer really about you. No more late nights celebrating...even if it's just having friends over for dinner and drinks. It's arranging celebrations around nap schedules and doctor's appointments. It's about fitting in your kids so that they can celebrate with you.

Despite the lack of sleep and fasting, I had a pretty terrific birthday. My hubby helped the kids make cards for me.  With a Catholic fast you are able to have one full meal so my husband made my favorite dish from one of my favorite restaurants...we just ate in moderation.  No cake, but lots of singing and happy children. My 4 year old danced for me and sang Happy Birthday. My 17 month old gave me kisses and said, "Mama" repeatedly. My husband took care of the kids' needs and allowed me to sit and relax while he took care of putting things away.

To add to my family's love, I received a lot of birthday wishes from my Facebook friends. My best friend gave me the perfect birthday present last week: a framed quote that embodies what I feel as a Mom. Not only that, she and her girls called and sang happy birthday to me. Awwwww. I even heard from my brother 3 times that day. Yeah, it was a Mom's birthday...perfect!

5:30am

This is what time I've been at the gym, in my seat and spinning. It's crazy.  My husband isn't even up yet and I dress in the dark, grab my water, and go.  Class has started by the time my husband's alarm has gone off. I'll will probably have been spinning for about 15 minutes by the time he rolls out of bed.  Crazy!

So I've done for two mornings now. It's a little weird too know that I've done more in the last 3 hours than I  usually do...all with the kids still asleep.  Yesterday was my first day taking an early morning class.

 I was so tired by 2pm and barely standing when my husband came home.  Usually my hubby is home by 6:30 and I'm ready to hand off the kids, have dinner on the table, eat dinner,  and then get a few minutes of "me" time while he does the bedtime routine before I go up to join them for bedtime prayers. "Me" time usually entails me cleaning up from dinner while listening to the radio or a book on CD. I'm totally okay with this. It's my time to zone out, bop along to music, or catch up on my "reading" without stopping to attend to someone else. Last night Hubby had to work late and didn't get home until after 7:30pm.  I had just finished getting my daughter ready for bed when he walked in the door. I was totally done by then.  Getting up at 4:30am makes Discombobulated Mommy a very tired mommy.

One of the neat things I got to see last night was the way that my kids greeted my husband. Usually I'm trying to get dinner on the table and I basically shoo them all out of the kitchen so that I can get things done in 5 minutes instead of 20.  Last night my husband came up the stairs, I heard my son shriek with glee, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"  My daughter came to the top of the stairs and sat down on the top step, patted the area next to her and said, "sit."  Which he did.  Then my son came bolting up the stairs and landed in my husband's lap and gave him a huge hug and my daughter followed suit and tried to share the lap and wrapped her arms around him, too.  There was my husband, sitting on the stairs, and covered in love...his head sticking out between the two heads. It was really sweet and I know that my husband loved being greeted with so much enthusiasm.

5:30 is a difficult thing time for me to get things done, but it might work out for us in the long run. I am able to get more things done during the day while still getting my work out in.  I don't know how long I will be able to sustain this kind of lifestyle, but I'll try it for now...if I'm still standing ;)