Trust

My son is taking swim classes with our local recreation department. He loves the water and this is great bonding experience for us.  It's just the two of us, while my daughter spends a little one-on-one time with my parents, and my husband is still at work.

One of the things that we've been working is floating on his back. We've been trying to do this for years (every summer) but my son will float if I'm holding him, but if I start to slowly pull away my hands he pikes and grabs my hands.  He won't do it! Two weeks ago we tried and he allowed me to slowly pull away my hands and he floated by himself for several seconds. I am so proud of him! It was a long road, but we did it!

As we did this exercise several times during the class, and he continued to float by himself, I thought about how much he must trust me. He trusts me to be there when he feels himself floundering.  He trusts that I will pull him up and hold onto him. He trusts me to be by his side.

 I thought about what made him decide to float on his own and I came up with follow-through. Yes, follow-through. My son knows that I will follow-through with what I tell him I'm going to do...good, bad, indifferent, I will follow-through.  The last few times we tried floating, I told him that I will always catch him.  When I would pull my hands away, he would grab them to make sure I was still there, and I was. I always caught him, I always held him, I was always right next to him. I made him a promise and I followed through with it.  The last time he floated, he knew that I would be right there and I would catch him. He trusted me and I was there. Yay, us!

So many times in parenting I don't want to follow through...especially with the consequences. Taking away something, giving a time out, saying no. Because sometimes the tears come and so do the tantrums.  Sometimes I just want to say "Fine!", but having been a teacher for 8 years I learned very quickly that your students will overrun you if you don't follow-through. They have long memories and they'll remember if you did something that you said that you were going to do.  I took this skill with me into my parenting world.  A friend of mine once said, "It's so much easier to be a bad parent. Giving into your kids all the time, not setting boundaries or structure, no discipline. It's easy.  The hard part is being a good parent, finding the balance between structure and flexibility. Saying yes when it counts, and saying no when it really counts."  She's right. They don't hand you a manual when you have a baby. They send you home with a 3-day old and you hope that you don't screw it up.

My son has learned over the last 4 years that I will provide structure and balance. I will be there for him when he flounders and when he celebrates. I will rejoice in his successes and support him when he needs a little more guidance. We have developed trust and I pray that it will carry him through as he continues to grow.

Plan to Eat

If you've been following along, you know that I'm not the most organized person, hence the many times-lost keys, the mixed up dates for preschool enrollment, the pile of papers on my kitchen counter (that I swear breed when I'm not looking!)  Organization is something I have to work at and towards.  Sometimes I would love to throw in the towel and say "Fine! You win!" to all the stuff that accumulates (it's really just papers!), but I don't and over time I have become more organized. I'm better than I was 10 years ago and definitely better since I've became a SAHM two years ago.

Being a SAHM, I have taken over the cooking and I've already mentioned that family dinner time is important to us. Two years ago, this was a daunting task and not one that I relished. My husband is a fabulous cook and I'm thrilled when he takes over.  But again, over time I have learned to like it, to learn to go with the flow, and now venture into new recipes. One of the things that used to throw me for a loop was the ageless question: "What's for dinner?" It takes so much planning! Do you need to defrost anything? Do you have the right ingredients for what you want to make?  Did you just have chicken last night? Do you want it again tonight?

If you've ever been to my house you may have seen the calendar on the side of the fridge that has a meal written down for each night.  I keep in mind dates that I know we won't be eating at home because we are at a celebration, nights for leftovers, and at least one night for a slowcooker meal.  My friends were impressed but then I shared my secret, I have a cookbook called "The One-Armed Cook" than I love. The meals are simple and can all be done while holding a baby in one arm if needed.  I also use the calendar to help me with my shopping list and to know "What's for dinner?" every night of the month. It totally helped when I made the transition of having one kid to two kids.  I shop at two places for food, the local grocery store and the local superstore. I get my dry goods and frozen ingredients at the superstore and my fresh produce at the grocery store (only because I'm afraid that I can't eat all of the fresh stuff before it would go bad if I buy it in bulk.)  However, my planning can take up to over an hour for planning for the month, including writing grocery lists (one for the local grocery store and one for my bulk items at a superstore).

On my birthday I received an e-mail for a contest I had entered for a year's subscription to Plan to Eat.   I was informed I won and I am so excited! What a great inadvertent birthday present! It's an electronic version of my pen & paper method of planning meals for the month and writing out grocery lists.  I've only had it a few days and have only logged on a couple of times because of it being Easter weekend and being terribly busy. I'm still learning to use it to my full benefit. So far, really easy! I type in my recipes, drop them into the days of the calendar, and the site helps me to create shopping lists from the ingredients I'm using (read: it actually creates the lists for me! I don't have to go back to my recipes and write down my shopping list on a separate sheet of paper), gives me a place to add non-food items (diapers, wipes, etc) to my list, and then I can drop my items into a shopping list for any of the stores I use. It took way less time to create a shopping list than it usually does. How about mere minutes versus 30+ minutes to an hour!!  I'm looking forward to how this will help me save money too! With me not working I am really conscientious about how much money I spend everywhere. One place that I can cut costs without making sacrifices is the grocery store. It just means shopping better.  With the lists I think I can do that.  I'll let you know how it goes!

p.s.  I am not receiving any compensation for writing about this. I am just really excited I won this. I really got into using it last night and I'm shocked how it is already saving me time. The longest part is writing in all my recipes. But once I'm done with that I won't have to do it again! No more lost recipes I snipped out of magazines.  As the Discombobulated Mommy I am happy to pass along anything that will  help us find more time to spend with our kids and less time on the "chores" of the house, while still maintaining our sanity.  If you join Plan to Eat, friend me and let's share recipes!

A Mom's Birthday

A few weeks ago I was speaking to a family friend about a "Mom's Birthday" or a "Parents' Anniversary." Meaning that now that we are parents very rarely is our special day just about us...there are parental obligations that must still be fulfilled.  I definitely had a Mom's Birthday this year.

Yesterday was my birthday.  I have been a mom for 4 years. I think yesterday was the first birthday I had (in a while) where I wasn't pregnant or nursing. My body was all mine! Kind of nice :)

But I definitely woke up with the beginnings of a Mom's birthday. First off my husband and I slept terribly because our 4 year old was having night terrors (the first in quite a while).  He woke up every 2 hours crying and screaming and calling for us, all the while he was still very much asleep. It didn't stop until after 1am, so I woke up on my birthday exhausted.  Count the two previous days where I was getting up at 4:30am for a Spin class at the gym, and I was pretty much a zombie before I even got started.

It was also Good Friday, and being Catholic it is a day of fasting.  Good times.  I feel selfish that I wanted to complain about fasting on my birthday and not having a birthday cake, especially when I was observing a day that my Savior gave up His life for me. So no outwardly complaining, but I was a little bummed...

To add to the lack of sleep and food, in my infinite wisdom as a mom, I decided that yesterday would be the perfect day for my son to have his 4 year old wellness check up with the doctor. If you have ever had a four year old, you know that means 4 shots! I knew this going in, but it was also a day that my husband had off. I also decided that my daughter would also get a check up at the same time to check on her ear infection (gone, thank goodness!) and get her final H1N1 booster. Yes, shots, all around!  Awesomeness...

You realize after becoming a parent that your birthday is no longer really about you. No more late nights celebrating...even if it's just having friends over for dinner and drinks. It's arranging celebrations around nap schedules and doctor's appointments. It's about fitting in your kids so that they can celebrate with you.

Despite the lack of sleep and fasting, I had a pretty terrific birthday. My hubby helped the kids make cards for me.  With a Catholic fast you are able to have one full meal so my husband made my favorite dish from one of my favorite restaurants...we just ate in moderation.  No cake, but lots of singing and happy children. My 4 year old danced for me and sang Happy Birthday. My 17 month old gave me kisses and said, "Mama" repeatedly. My husband took care of the kids' needs and allowed me to sit and relax while he took care of putting things away.

To add to my family's love, I received a lot of birthday wishes from my Facebook friends. My best friend gave me the perfect birthday present last week: a framed quote that embodies what I feel as a Mom. Not only that, she and her girls called and sang happy birthday to me. Awwwww. I even heard from my brother 3 times that day. Yeah, it was a Mom's birthday...perfect!

5:30am

This is what time I've been at the gym, in my seat and spinning. It's crazy.  My husband isn't even up yet and I dress in the dark, grab my water, and go.  Class has started by the time my husband's alarm has gone off. I'll will probably have been spinning for about 15 minutes by the time he rolls out of bed.  Crazy!

So I've done for two mornings now. It's a little weird too know that I've done more in the last 3 hours than I  usually do...all with the kids still asleep.  Yesterday was my first day taking an early morning class.

 I was so tired by 2pm and barely standing when my husband came home.  Usually my hubby is home by 6:30 and I'm ready to hand off the kids, have dinner on the table, eat dinner,  and then get a few minutes of "me" time while he does the bedtime routine before I go up to join them for bedtime prayers. "Me" time usually entails me cleaning up from dinner while listening to the radio or a book on CD. I'm totally okay with this. It's my time to zone out, bop along to music, or catch up on my "reading" without stopping to attend to someone else. Last night Hubby had to work late and didn't get home until after 7:30pm.  I had just finished getting my daughter ready for bed when he walked in the door. I was totally done by then.  Getting up at 4:30am makes Discombobulated Mommy a very tired mommy.

One of the neat things I got to see last night was the way that my kids greeted my husband. Usually I'm trying to get dinner on the table and I basically shoo them all out of the kitchen so that I can get things done in 5 minutes instead of 20.  Last night my husband came up the stairs, I heard my son shriek with glee, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!"  My daughter came to the top of the stairs and sat down on the top step, patted the area next to her and said, "sit."  Which he did.  Then my son came bolting up the stairs and landed in my husband's lap and gave him a huge hug and my daughter followed suit and tried to share the lap and wrapped her arms around him, too.  There was my husband, sitting on the stairs, and covered in love...his head sticking out between the two heads. It was really sweet and I know that my husband loved being greeted with so much enthusiasm.

5:30 is a difficult thing time for me to get things done, but it might work out for us in the long run. I am able to get more things done during the day while still getting my work out in.  I don't know how long I will be able to sustain this kind of lifestyle, but I'll try it for now...if I'm still standing ;)

Catch Up Week

I've posting about the craziness of my weeks. It seemed to just become more chaotic the closer we got to my son's birthday.  Between all the sports activities and prepping for the party, we were on the move an awful lot.  One of our routines is to go to the gym on a daily basis. Last week I was informed that the childcare for the gym would be closed this week due to some remodeling.  Well, huh...

I was given suggestions about going to other facilities that were near by and part of the same chain. But I'm particular about who watches my kids and I'd rather wait it out. My kids love the ladies that currently watch them at the gym, so forget it, I'm not going anywhere new for the week.  It was also suggested that I come at night when my husband comes home from work. He doesn't get home until 6:30. By the time dinner is over and the kids are in bed, I'm ready to be in my jammies and spend time with my husband, reviewing the day or watching a favorite television show.

So I did what any sane person would do in this instance, I signed up for a 5:30am Spin class this week. That's right, you read it right. I signed up for a 5:30 AM Spin Class.  I figured I could go and be back before my husband left for work.  Yesterday I didn't hear my alarm go off, but I made it this morning. Not bad, I must say. I could do this and make it work. I've already been to the gym, showered, had my morning devotional, and now I'm blogging. I feel like my day is already half over. But we all know that it's just beginning because the kids will wake up any minute now. I might actually get to do some of things we can do during the day because we're at the gym.

I feel like the gym takes up a lot of our time. And it does. It's probably a two hour process: prepping for the gym, going to the gym, leaving the gym, coming home and getting lunch, etc.

Yesterday, I didn't wake up in time so we ended up not going anywhere. I planned to clean and straighten the house yesterday and I actually got to do it! Granted the kids and I stayed in our jammies all day, but that's fine! My son had time to play with a lot of his new birthday presents. I was able to get everything checked off my cleaning "to do" list and I had time to play games with the kids, read to them, and just spend time with them without any pressures to go anywhere or do anything. It was really nice! Today we will run errands after the kids are up for the day, but we won't have to cram everything in. We'll get done what we get done. This is a nice reprieve from our usually chaotic schedule. We'll do this all week!  Ahhhh, 5:30am Spin Class...this might work!

Lost Keys Provide Cleaning and Organizing Opportunity

This blog is so aptly named. I really am the epitome of the Discombobulated Mommy. I work really hard to be organized and for me it is hard work. It is not something that comes naturally to me.

Yesterday, I lost my keys...again.  We have a key hook and I thought that I always put them there. That's where they usually are when I find them. When I lost my keys several weeks ago and I called my husband at work to ask if he'd seen them I told him that they weren't in their usual place and that I put them on the key hook about 90% of the time. How about 50% of the time? My wonderful husband often finds them on the counter, on a side table, on the kitchen table or on our bed and puts them on the key hook for me so that I can find them in the morning.  That morning I happened to find them between the footboard and our mattress. They had fallen out of my jeans pocket and fallen there. Go figure!

I lost them again, yesterday. I had already fed and dressed the kids and they were ready for us to go to the gym. I started looking for my keys and after a few minutes realized they were not in any of the usual places.  My 3 year old followed me around the house giving me advice about what I should do: "Mommy, you should really put away your keys in the right place.  Mommy, you should always put away your things. Mommy, you should really clean up the stuff around the house."  Sage advice, not helpful when you are trying to find your lost item. He followed me around the house spouting suggestions and advice.  I finally turned on the tv and asked him to watch television so that I could look for my keys in peace.

 I eventually did find them. I called my husband again and he had accidentally taken them to work. He saw them on the kitchen table and picked them up to put them on the key hook and accidentally put them in his pocket and walked out the door.

Nonetheless, the lost keys encouraged me to organize the house. We couldn't go anywhere and I went on a cleaning frenzy. I, of course, avoided the pile of papers on the kitchen counter that I need to go through to recycle and put away. I just don't have the time to do it. I also need to be less frenzied when I do it...or do I? However, the bathrooms and my bedroom look great!

Good Samaritan

Yesterday I went shopping at Costco.  I hate shopping at Costco.  Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with the store itself and I like shopping in bulk for things like diapers and wipes. But for me,  it's too crowded, it's overwhelming, and going to a superstore with two kids is not my idea of fun.  I think it's because I am easily overstimulated which I think is due to my self-diagnosed ADD. I jump from one thing to the next and I do not have the patience to go up one aisle and down another.  I went yesterday to get some things we needed for my son's birthday party on Sunday. I also had coupons for things we use all the time like diapers, wipes, kitty litter, etc.  I went yesterday instead of waiting for my husband to do it today because I wasn't sure if he would get off of work on time, and our Saturday is jammed with a T-Ball game in the morning, a friend's wedding in the afternoon, and party prep in the evening (cleaning, decorating, goody bags, cake, and food prep).

If I go to Costco I go to pick up pictures and that's it. I hate fighting for a parking space. But I went and I thought that I could get in and out pretty quickly. I had my list and having gone a few times with my husband I had a pretty good idea where everything was in the store.  Um, rule #1....Feed your kids before going to a superstore.  I thought I could get in and home in time for lunch. No such luck.  The minute we walked in my son started complaining about being hungry. Now this is the kid who will wait until 2pm to have lunch on any given day even though I try to feed him around noon. It was 11:30am earlier than any of us usually have lunch. But Murphy's law...

We got most of the items on my list and a few of my coupon items that we needed. I ran out of room in my mongo cart so we headed to check out.  In the meantime the kids are sitting next to each other and pushing each other. My son is begging for the food from the sample tables.  My daughter is trying to eat her samples and her brother's. And I realize that even though I'm in pretty good shape, a 40 lb. container of kitty litter is still really heavy.

We make it through check out. I break my lenten fast of no beef for the family by buying my son an all-beef hot dog because the meal came with a drink and I didn't want to spend extra money on a drink. I didn't eat the beef and I figured...eh, he's 3, does it really count if he breaks the fast as long it was not me? I was desperate at this point.

We make it to the parking lot and I get the kids in the car. My daughter is screeching for the smoothie I bought for the kids. My son is going on and on about how he's hungry and can he eat in the car and I've got a cart full of heavy stuff.  I open the van trunk look at the stuff in the car, look in the van and sigh loudly, roll up my sleeves and start putting things in. A man walked by, I think he worked in the garage at Costco, and stopped. The conversation went a little like this:

"Can I help you put the water in the car?"
"Wha? Huh? Wha?"
"Do you want the water in the car?"
"Water? Car? Wha?"
"Would you like me to help you put the water in the car?" (very slowly)
"Oh, yes, that would be great. Thank you."
"I heard you sigh, it was really loud and sounded tired. I thought you would like some help."
"Oh, yes, I would. Thank you. Um, could you put the kitty litter in the car, too? I can do everything else if you just get the litter."
"No problem."
"Thanks so much!"

Yes, apparently my sigh was so loud someone felt the need to help. I honestly didn't think it was that loud or that anyone heard me, but I think I was so exasperated by this point I was just digging in and doing what I could to just get us out of there.  Thank goodness for Good Samaritans. They are still out there. It made my day a little easier and was a great example to my son that some people are just really nice and will help you out when you need it.

We made it home, put the frozen stuff away. Ate lunch, played video games with my son, and snuggled my daughter.  The rest of our booty is still sitting in the front hall. I'll get to it later :)

Balancing Act

I feel like since I have been a SAHM mom for two years now that I should have a perfect system worked out to balance the household chores, errands, and activities with the kids.  I don't have a perfect system. I have a system and it works for us, sort of, but every now and again I start to feel overwhelmed with all of the chores and things that need to get done.

I'm also so tired. I don't drink coffee, but I'll drink tea. I tend to stay away from caffeine because anything after 2 or 4 seems to keep me up all night. A light nap in the day means that I've lost some time to get things done. How do you keep energized or motivated to get things done throughout the day?

I'm a last-minute girl.  I hate buying Christmas presents early in the year, because there might be something better closer to Christmas...or more than likely I've forgotten that I already bought something and I go out and buy something new for someone.  I don't pack early for trips because what if I need that shirt or those pants before the trip?  I don't pack early because I also need to do the laundry, but who has time to do several loads of laundry in a day?  So things don't get put away or bought, or done in a timely fashion because what if I still need it, what if I don't need it yet, or how can I do x when I haven't done y yet?  You get the point.

So for anyone out there reading this, how do you do it? How do you stay on top of the chores, errands, and to do list, while still being there for your family?  Suggestions, tips, "this is how I do it," I would love to hear from you.

Welcome Sports Fans!

I think I have just entered the point of no return.  Last week I looked at our schedule and half the week looked like this:

Wednesday: Son's Swim Lesson
Thursday:  Son's 1st T-Ball Practice
Friday: Son's Final Soccer Class for the Season...maybe until Fall
Saturday: Daughter's Swim Lesson

Crazy!  I also just signed up my daughter for soccer lessons starting next month. Yes, my daughter is 17 months old, but I think she would love it! I scheduled it for Tuesday mornings when my son is in school. I drop him off, take her to soccer, come back and pick him up...I might be able to squeeze in a stop at Starbuck's in between :)

Our Spring schedule will like this:
Tuesday: Daughter Soccer Lesson
Thursday: Son's T-ball practice
Saturday: Son's T-ball games

My son started doing activities when my mom babysat him while I worked full-time. It was a way for them to get out of the house and keep busy since he didn't have a peer group. I started him in soccer when he was 18 months old because the kids in our playgroup were doing it and it would be the only time we would see them since I was working full-time (at the time).  Now that he's almost 4 a whole world has opened up for him. Not only can he do soccer, he is eligible for T-ball in the Spring, and Swim Team in the Summer.

I also realized last week, that I have to be at all of these events. It's not like I can drop him off (yet) and say, "See ya, have fun, Honey." I have to be there...for everything.  My time is no longer my time....

I was going to sign up my daughter for dance classes, but after I posted it on FB some months back, a friend replied about how fun it is until they sucker you into buying the expensive costumes (that they'll wear once!) for the recitals. So I held off on dance lessons and plus there was no way that I was going to spring for a babysitter for my son so that I could my daughter to expensive dance lessons that include expensive costumes. We'll just have to wait for classes to be at a better time or for my son to be old enough to stay home by himself...we've got time.

So here we are, looking at our Sports calendar for the season. I realize that this is the beginning and it just gets busier from here. I also realize that we can stop at any time, right? Technically, yes...but are really going to? Probably not, so Welcome Sports Fans!

St. Patrick's Day

Hello and Happy St. Patrick's Day! Are you wearing green today? My family is! Why? Because I did the laundry late last night and made sure that everyone had something green to wear. You might think this is overboard, but as a kid I was always pinched on St. Patrick's Day for not wearing green. Do kids still do that these days? My husband chuckled at me, this morning, when I told him how I wouldn't allow my children to get pinched for not wearing green. He thinks no one does that anymore...and he doesn't remember that happening in elementary school. I do, and I have the  "Gotta wear green on St. Patrick's Day" paranoia to prove it.  For everyone else, it's fun...for me it's survival. NO PINCHING!

You would think that since my brother was born on St. Patrick's Day that someone would remember to wear green, but alas no one did and I was pinched every year from 3rd grade to Middle School. It was always on the arm and it was always more than once!  I think my mom being Asian had something to do with the fact that this was not on her list of priorities (having her kids wear green on St. Patrick's Day). As she says, "I don't understand your American jokes." Not so much a joke, but a tradition.  However, her never remembering to put us in green has now made me paranoid about having something green to wear on St. Patty's Day...to the point that if I am going through my closet to get rid of old clothes, I'll make sure that I have something green to wear...even if I'm going through the clothes mid-summer or mid-winter. Go figure!

So, Happy St. Patrick's Day. Wear green! and I hope you find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!

p.s. Happy 30th Birthday, Little Brother!