Saturday was a tough day all around. I had been pretty productive during the week, but started with the insomnia again on Friday morning and it continued throughout the weekend. It makes me tired and grumpy! Even though I took it easy on Friday and grabbed a nap and finally made it back to sleep on Saturday after two hours of early morning insomnia, I started spotting again. Although the doctor warned me it would happen and told me signs to look for, it's still really disconcerting. It makes me more anxious and I still worry about this new little baby. But I'm 19 weeks along and everyday is a good day that I get to keep this baby in. I always feel better when I feel baby kicking...that's definitely a good sign!
The rest of Saturday was fine, until the very end. After a fun ice cream outing with my parents we rolled into our driveway. Hubs and Boogie made it to the door and usually I'm the last one to get moving out of the car. I started grabbing odds and ends to throw away or take out of the car when I realized Buggy wasn't racing with the boys. Just as I asked Hubby where Bug was and as I rounded the car to look for her she let out a terrifying wail. She has learned how to close the van sliding door using the automatic button. But she left her thumb in and it was shut in the door. I yanked the van open to find a huge divot in her quickly swelling thumb. She's so little the van didn't sense her so there she was stuck in the door. I grabbed her (by the way against dr's orders to pick up my little ones) and held her. Lots of screaming, loud crying, and tears (okay, okay, so some of it may have been mine, too!). After snuggling with mommy, a relaxing bath, a call to the advice nurse, it seems that all is fine. She was scared and a little worse for wear, but overall fine. Not me, though.
This week has been so tough with the lack of sleep, the worrying about the kids, and Buggy catching her thumb in the door, that I was so done. By the time Hubby finished putting the kids to bed, I think we both collapsed into bed by 9:30. An early night for us. We still made it to Mass the next morning, but definitely dragging. I was so tired, I cried. I think I just needed a release and that was it. I held Bug in my lap most of Mass and rocked her throughout the service. She was definitely not her usual self and let me do it.
I'm looking forward to a better week...but worried it will be tough in other ways. Hubs has a business trip tomorrow and then he's gone for the weekend to help our friends move out of their house in Maine because they just moved to the area (hurray! for the moving, not for being gone all weekend.) Fortunately, my friend A. will spend the weekend with me to keep me company and to help me out. I would normally say, "don't worry about it," but even with taking it easy I'm still spotting, so I've got to pull back some more.
I think I just need a break from all the worrying. The kids will be 100% again, it will just take some time.
Some of the BEST things about my week:
- Buggy snuggling with me in our rocking chair and a half. Her sleepy head on my shoulder as we rocked together.
- Family movie night in our bed on Friday. Complete with popcorn.
- Bug saying, "Wa ewe" to Boogie
- Bug saying, "Wa ewe, Mama" when I put her down for a nap.
- Boogie's great imagination and his planned out trip to Africa. He even packed socks, underwear, shoes, books, and toys in his backpack for both him and his sister. (Now I've got to unpack it all so that they have underwear and socks for the week!)
- The kids playing together so well. (It looks like Boogie will keep his sister!)
- Buggy catching me watching the QVC special on new Dooney & Burke handbags and immediately sitting next to me riveted. (No we didn't buy any, but it was fun to oooohhhhh and ahhhhh over pretty purses together. I think my husband just sighed.)
- Seeing good friends who I haven't seen in months and celebrating their's son's birthday.
- Ice cream with my parents
- My parents coming over for dinner and hanging out with the kids.
- Buggy sitting next to me and grabbing and snuggling half of the new baby blanket I'm crocheting for a friend and giving her approval as we rocked together.
- The hugs and "I love yous" heard throughout the week from my precious children.
- Grabbing a nap on Friday because a friend came down to give me a break and played with my kids.
- Hubby's delicious banana, chocolate chip, walnut bread he baked on Saturday morning. He's the best!
- Being one lucky Mama to be so loved!